The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation
by N64 Chick
Summary: Weird things can happen when Mario and the gang take a vacation.
1. The Meeting

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 1: The Meeting  
  
This is my first fic that has SWEARING in it, so I'd be careful if I was you, dude. Begin Day 1...  
  
(Our story begins in Princess Peach Toadstool's castle where go kart drivers Mario, Luigi, Toad, Yoshi, Wario, D.K., and Bowser along with her highness herself, have come together to disscuss an issue.)  
  
Peach: I'm bored. Ruling this stupid kingdom is hard and boring. Do any of you have any suggustions on what I can do? Yes, Bowser.  
  
Bowser: Yeah. Let me do the ruling. I'll take reeeeeal good care of your kingdom.  
  
Peach: Hmm...nuh uh. Bowser, you are not taking over the kingdom. Think people. Does anyone know of a good place I can stay at? Yoshi?  
  
Yoshi: You can go to Yoshi's Island. It's a nice place, you know.  
  
Peach: Ummm...oooookay. Anywhere else?  
  
D.K.: A trip to California would be cool. I hear they have some of the coolest hotals there.  
  
Mario: Frankly, I'd like to show her my old place in Brooklyn.  
  
D.K.: I say California!  
  
Mario: I say New York!  
  
D.K.: California!  
  
Mario: New York!  
  
Peach: Boys, I can't go to the 'real world' and no, I don't want to go to California. That would cost a fortune. Toad, tell everyone how much money we have.  
  
Toad: According to my calculations, not much.  
  
Peach: Can someone please think of a cheap place that's better than some dinosaur-infested island. Yes Luigi.  
  
Luigi: I know an island that has a swimming pool and a trampoline-  
  
Peach: Hawaii?! I said no 'real world'!  
  
Luigi: You didn't let me finish, you silly girl. You see, the island I'm talking about is one that my high school buddy, Phil, owns. You know...Phillip Island.  
  
Peach: Yes, go on...  
  
Luigi: Well, I'm sure it won't cost much if Phil knows that I'm helping you out, your highness. You know, I hear there's a neat little club house of some sort. I've never been there so I don't know for sure.  
  
D.K.: I say California, you dingaling!  
  
Mario: I say New York, you moron!  
  
Peach: Well, at least you came up with something better than those two, but are you sure this would be okay with Phil?  
  
Luigi: I'll give him a call.  
  
(Luigi took out his cell phone and dialed a number. On the other end, the phone rang twice, then someone anwsered it.)  
  
Phil: Hello? This is Phil speaking.  
  
Luigi: Hey Phil.  
  
Phil: Yo Luigi buddy. What's up? Long time, no hear.  
  
Luigi: I've got a little bit of a dilemma here. The princess wants to take a vacation and the only good place I can think of is your island. I was wondering if she c-  
  
Phil: Whoa! Peach wants to come to my lil island?!  
  
Luigi: Yeah. Is that okay with you?  
  
Phil: Well me and...hold on a sec. Boys! Keep the TV down!.........Okay, I'm back.  
  
Luigi: What was that about?  
  
Phil: Oh the boys were playing one of their Nintendo games.  
  
Luigi: 64?  
  
Phil: Yup. Me and the boys were just gonna leave for awhile. You could always look after the house while we're gone. It would be an honor to have her highness over here. Tell you what, I'll pick up you and the princess tomarrow. Okay?  
  
Mario: Hey Weegie. I wanna go on vacation too.  
  
Bowser: I need to take a vacation from taking over the kingdom. Ask him if I can come.  
  
Phil: I didn't realize there were others. Well, you can take them too. It would be an honor to help out her highness.  
  
Luigi: I didn't know they wanted to come either. See ya later.  
  
(Luigi hung up the phone.)  
  
Luigi: Well, Phil is coming to pick us up tomarrow. We should go home and pack our stuff.  
  
Peach: Thank you. Maybe now I'll be able to do something fun for a change.  
  
Mario: Wha hooooo! Vacation!  
  
Luigi: If you guys want to come, be back here tomarrow with your stuff.  
  
(Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Wario, D.K. and Bowser leave the castle and start to walk to their homes.)  
  
Wario: Yo Luigi. You actually came up with a good idea. I can't wait to go in that swimming pool.  
  
D.K.: It's not California, but that doesn't bother me. As long as it's a vacation, I'm happy.  
  
Luigi: Well, here's our warp pipe. See ya tomarrow. C'mon, Mario.  
  
(Mario and Luigi jump into the pipe and warp to their house, then they go in and pack their stuff. And they had a lot of stuff. Next morning, we see everyone with their back packs, suit cases, and luggage bags at Peach's castle waiting for Phil to come.)  
  
Peach: Sweet island paradise, here I come.  
  
Toad: Um...highness. While we're on the island, who will rule the kingdom?  
  
Peach: You silly mushroom. The king and queen are supposed to do the real ruling. How much power does a lil ol' princess like me have anyway?  
  
Toad: True true. I assume you called your parents already.  
  
Bowser: Ahhh...I needed a vacation from taking over the kingdom.  
  
Toad: Yeah? Well I need a vacation away from you so shut up.  
  
Luigi: Hey. Here he comes.  
  
(A large boat can be seen in the distance, the it came closer and closer.)  
  
Mario: I guess we're leaving now so I just want to say that-  
  
Waluigi: Wario!  
  
( Waluigi appeared out of nowhere and ran toward Wario.)  
  
Waluigi: Wario, you're not taking a vacation without me, are you?  
  
Wario: Waluigi, the reason I wanted to take a vacation is to get away form you! Buzz off!  
  
Luigi: Way to tell him, Wario.  
  
Waluigi: You guys are no fun...  
  
(The boat got close to the shore, then the driver cut the motor and waved to Luigi.)  
  
Phil: Yo Luigi. How ya doing? Are these all of the vacationers?  
  
Luigi: Everyone, but Waluigi. He can't come.  
  
Phil: Well, all right. Everyone on the boat...that is, ladies first. Princess Peach, may I?  
  
Peach: Yes please, Phil.  
  
Phil: Please, you may call me Phillip.  
  
Peach: Oh...okay, Phillip.  
  
(Phil helped Peach onto the boat, then everyone else got on.)  
  
Toad: Bowser, quit rocking the boat. You're making me seasick.  
  
Bowser: I'm not rocking it, D.K. is.  
  
(Everyone put their stuff in the back of the boat. Waluigi saw his chance. Just as the boat was leaving Waluigi ran, then jumped into the boat and hid in the luggage.  
  
Waluigi: Heh heh heh... 


	2. Welcome to Phillip Island

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 2: Welcome to Phillip Island  
  
(Phil drove the boat to his little island. It didn't take long and soon he drives right up to the dock.)  
  
Phil: We're here. Everybody off. Ladies first.  
  
Peach: Thank you, Phillip.  
  
Phil: My pleasure.  
  
(Phil helped Peach off the the boat, then everyone else got off. Waluigi remained hidden.)  
  
Phil: I'll show you around. Follow me.  
  
(Phil led everyone up a wide path from the dock, into the forested island. Soon it split up into two paths. The one to the left went up a hill. The one straight ahead led to a bridge.)  
  
Phil: The bridge over there leads to a store.  
  
Luigi: But you're the only one that lives on this island. Why would there be a store?  
  
Phil: You see, Phillip Island is part of a group of islands. Many of the islands are too small to have their own store so the people come here for their shopping needs. We're like a community really.  
  
Luigi: Hey. That's kinda nifty. It only makes things easier for you..  
  
Phil: Yep. The other path leads to the house. C'mon. I'll show you.  
  
(Phil led everyone up the hill and to the blue house...which looked a little run down. There were also weeds all over the place.)  
  
Phil: This is the house and if you look to the right you'll see the garage. There's a basketball hoop. I'm sure the boys left the ball around here.  
  
Peach: Where's the club house?  
  
Phil: Hang on. Let me show you, Toadstool.  
  
(Phil led everyone to the front of the house.)  
  
Phil: This is it.  
  
Peach: Wait a minute. That's a shed.  
  
Phil: I know. The boys like to use it as a club house. The van to the left doesn't do anything, but the boys like to play inside of that too.  
  
Wario:Where's the swimming pool? I can't keep this hot bod in these clothes forever.  
  
Peach: Ewww... You're gross, you sick bastard. Oops. I'm naughty.  
  
Phil: The pool? Sure.  
  
(Phil then led everyone to the backyard where the pool was.)  
  
Wario: Um...what's with the water? This doesn't look very good.  
  
Phil: Yeah, about that. We didn't use the pool lately. The trampoline, on the other hand, is always being used. It's right next to the pool.  
  
Wario: Well, at least the trampoline looks okay.  
  
Luigi: I love trampolines. Look at me! Wheeee!  
  
(Luigi jumped onto the trampoline and started to do some of his super high jumps.)  
  
Luigi: Wheee! Check this out!  
  
(Luigi did a Hip Drop. The second he touched the trampoline, it collasped.)  
  
Luigi: Ow! What the?!  
  
Wario: So mush for the trampoline...  
  
Phil: Now I'll show you the inside of the house.  
  
(Phil led everyone into the house...except Luigi. He was still sitting in the broken heap that used to be the trampoline.)  
  
Phil: This is the kitchen. I know it's a little dirty.  
  
Mario: Dirty? Look at this. The cupboards are crammed. The trash is overflowing. Half the stuff in here doesn't look like it even works.  
  
Phil: And down there is the basement. It's a little leaky and chances are you won't be going down there anyway.  
  
Mario: I bet.  
  
(Phil led everyone into the living room. It had a purple carpet and there was a TV and VCR with a couch and to chairs in front of it. But there was also clothes and tapes everywhere. It was almost as bad as the kitchen.)  
  
Phil: I thought I told those boys to pick up their clothes. Oh well. Here's the living room. The VCR works so if you see a good video you can watch it.  
  
(The nearby sliding door opened and Luigi stepped in.)  
  
Luigi: Did I miss anything?  
  
Mario: Naw.  
  
Phil: Now if you'll just follow me upstairs...  
  
(Everyone followed Phil up the stairs and into a hallway. Phil points to a room on the left.)  
  
Phil: That's my bedroom.  
  
Peach: I'll say. This looks like the cleanest room in the house. I'm sleeping in here tonight. I think I'll lay down right now.  
  
(Peach walked into the room.)  
  
Phil: Okay. But I must warn you...  
  
Peach: Oh what could be wrong about this ro- Eep! What's that smell? My nose is on fire!  
  
(Peach ran out of the room.)  
  
Phil: I tried to tell you, I use a lot of insence in there.  
  
Peach: Don't worry. I'll just put on some purfume.  
  
Phil: The room to the right is the bathroom.  
  
Mario: Is that a leaky faucet I hear? Oh God! Drip-drip-drip-drip-drip...  
  
Toad: Heh. That's Mario for ya.  
  
Phil: I've got only one more room to show you.  
  
(Phil led everyone to the room that was straight ahead. This room had green carpet, two bunkbeds, a TV with a Nintendo 64 and a couch. There was also a sliding door like the one in the living room and a toy box stashed in a corner.)  
  
Phil: This is the boys' room. Most of you will probably sleep on the bunk beds. I don't know what they keep in the toy box. By the way, Luigi, the N64 is in here. I'm sure the boys' left some of their games here.  
  
Luigi: Actually I've got you covered there. I brought my own games.  
  
Yoshi: I saw that one coming.  
  
Mario: Me too.  
  
Phil: Well with that it's time for me to go. Please follow me back to the docks.  
  
(Everyone followed Phil out of the house, down the driveway and back to the docks.)  
  
Phil: Luigi, me and the boys will be gone for a couple of weeks. While we're gone you and your friends can use these coins to buy anything you want.  
  
(Phil gave Luigi a sack of coins, then he points to the boat that still had the luggage and Waluigi in it.)  
  
Phil: You can also use this boat to go back to the mainland to get stuff, but by the looks of it you got everything already. I better get going so I'll see you in a couple of weeks. See ya later.  
  
(Phil got into another boat, started the motor and drove away. Everyone glares at Luigi.)  
  
Luigi: Um...why are you guys looking at me like that? 


	3. Cleanup Work

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 3: Cleanup Work  
  
Mario: Weegie, you dolt! You expect us to vacation on this god forsaken island? You...you...you...  
  
D.K.: Idiot! This is supposed to be better than Hawaii?  
  
Wario: You expect me to swim in that scummy pool?  
  
Peach: Can you possibly be more stupid?  
  
Luigi: Don't yell at me. I told you I've never been here before. Phil used false advertisment on me, man.  
  
Peach: If I had my frying pan, I'd smack you in the head with it. I don't find this very funny.  
  
Luigi: It's messy now, but if we fix it up I'm sure it will be okay.  
  
Mario: What do you mean 'we'? You're the one that wanted to come here so you're the one that's gonna pick it up. Peach, get your bag. If any of you guys want me or Peach, we'll be in Phil's room.  
  
(Mario lifted his back pack out of the boat and saw Waluigi's face.)  
  
Waluigi: Hey. How's it going?  
  
Wario: Waluigi, what'd I tell you before? You weren't invited! What am I going to do with you?  
  
Luigi: Make him help me with the house.  
  
Wario: That's not a bad idea. Okay. Both of you fix up the house.  
  
Luigi: You heard him, Waluigi. Help me with the house.  
  
(Luigi yanked Waluigi out of the boat and dragged him to the house.)  
  
Luigi: All right, no one likes weeds. Waluigi, you pull all the weeds out. I'll take care of the clubhouse.  
  
(Luigi ran of. Waluigi grabbed a weed and pulled it out, then he grabbed another one and pulled it out.)  
  
Waluigi: Jeez, at this rate I'll be here all night.  
  
(Toad walked up to Waluigi and watched him.)  
  
Toad: No no no. You're doing it wrong. Waluigi, you do it like this.  
  
(Toad grabbed a weed and yanked it out in a split-second.)  
  
Toad: Now you try it.  
  
(Waluigi grabbed a weed and slowly pulled it out.)  
  
Toad: Wrong wrong WRONG! You're not doing it right!  
  
Waluigi: Shut up! I don't need advice from a three foot walking mushroom. Shoo! I'll do this myself!  
  
Toad: Yeah whatever...  
  
(Toad went around yanking weeds left and right and chunked them all into a pile. In fact, the only weeds Toad didn't get were the ones around Waluigi. He figured he can do some of it himself.)  
  
Waluigi: C'mon you stupid weed. Come out for papa. Aw shucks. This is hopeless.  
  
Toad: I'll check on Luigi.  
  
(Toad went to the clubhouse and opened the door. Inside, there was a table with three chairs in a corner and a rug in the middle of the floor. Everything, including Luigi, was dusty.)  
  
Luigi: Ah-ah-ahchoo!  
  
Toad: Dusty in here, isn't it?  
  
Luigi: Sniffle...yeah.  
  
Toad: You don't sound too good. You ought to get some fresh air and work on the trampoline.  
  
Luigi: Yeah. Ah-ah-ahchoo! Okay.  
  
(Luigi walked out of the clubhouse and to the trampoline. Luigi startes to work with it when Bowser and D.K. came)  
  
D.K.: Hey Luigi. Aren't you a little small to work with stuff that big?  
  
Bowser: Me and D.K. should fix that. By the way, did you see Waluigi? He looks like he got attacked by something.  
  
D.K.: Let us fix this. You go in the house.  
  
Luigi: Okay. If you say so...  
  
(Luigi walked to the house and went in the sliding door. He saw Waluigi sitting in a chair. He was cut up, bruised, and bleeding.)  
  
Luigi: Dude, what happened to you?  
  
Waluigi: You ever tried to pull weeds? Those things hurt!  
  
(In the kitchen, Wario was bashing a radio in an attempt to fix it. Yoshi was also nearby.)  
  
Wario: Stupid radio, why don't you work?! Work! Dammit!  
  
Yoshi: What seems to be the problem?  
  
Wario: This dumb thing won't work. C'mon, you piece of crap! Work!  
  
Yoshi: Did you remember to plug it in?  
  
Wario: Say what?  
  
Yoshi: You're sad.  
  
(Yoshi located the plug and stuck it in the nearest outlet. Suddenly, the radio started to play "The Real Slim Shadey")  
  
Wario: Yoshi, you're a genius! How did you do it?  
  
Yoshi: You really are sad.  
  
(Upstairs in the bathroom, Mario was trying to fix the sink, but Peach won't let go of the monkey wrench that she's holding.)  
  
Mario: Peach, give me the monkey wrench.  
  
Peach: What's a monkey wrench?  
  
Mario: That thing you're holding. Give me the monkey wrench.  
  
Peach: Quit monkeying around and fix the sink.  
  
Mario: Damn woman. I can't fix the sink without the monkey wrench.  
  
Peach: Ask D.K. He's a monkey. I'm sure he has one.  
  
Mario: D'oh! I give up.  
  
(Outside, Bowser and D.K. finished fixing the trampoline and Toad, who dusted out the clubhouse, was testing it out. The pool was drained and Luigi and Waluigi was giving it a good scrubbing.)  
  
Luigi: All right. That just about does it. Time to fill it up.  
  
(Luigi and Waluigi climbed out of the pool. Luigi went to the house and got the hose, then he began to fill the pool.)  
  
Luigi: All right, Waluigi. You can hang back for awhile.  
  
Bowser: The trampoline is fixed. As long as you don't Hip Drop, it should be fine.  
  
Luigi: Cool.  
  
D.K.: Toad says that the clubhouse is done too. I wonder what we could use it for.  
  
Waluigi: I'll think of something...  
  
Bowser: I have to admit, before, it was a mess, but now it's beginning to shape up. If we fix up the inside we'll be all set.  
  
Luigi: Let's get this show on the road.  
  
(Luigi, D.K., and Bowser went into the house. In the living room, D.K. sorted and put away the vidios while Luigi picked up all the clothes and chucked them into the basement. In the kitchen, Bowser was getting annoyed by Wario.)  
  
Bowser: Wario, do you really have to listen to the Spice Sluts?  
  
Wario: I thought you liked sluts.  
  
Bowser: The only slut I like is Princess Toadstool! Now turn that garage off and help me take out this garage!  
  
Wario: God! What's your problem?  
  
(Upstairs, Luigi was airing out Phil's room by opening the windows and turning a fan on. D.K. convinced Peach to let go of the monkey wrench.)  
  
Mario: Thanks D.K.  
  
D.K.: Wait a minute. Why would you need a monkey wrench to fix a leaky faucet? The knob doesn't even look like it's turned all the way.  
  
(D.K. turned the knob all the way. The dripping stopped.)  
  
Mario: Son-of-a-  
  
D.K.: There. Problem solved.  
  
(Seems like everything is fixed. Luigi walks into the, now clean, kitchen.)  
  
Bowser: Check it out. Not only did I take out the garage and organize the cupboards, but I mopped the floor too!  
  
Luigi: Well done. Now we can move in. I'm going to the docks to get my back pack.  
  
(Luigi walked out of the house and down the driveway to the docks. He picked up his pack, but then he picked up Toad, Bowser, and D.K.'s bags too. They did help him after all. He dragged all these things back to the house.)  
  
Toad: Hey Luigi. You brought my bag. Thanks bud.  
  
Luigi: No prob. You dusted out the clubhouse. Good thing mushrooms don't have allergies.  
  
Toad: Nope. No allergies. I'm pretty used to the spore that I spread. And I pulled most of the weed myself.  
  
Luigi: Spores? I'm not even gonna go there. And the weeds? I figured that was you.  
  
(Luigi went into the house and into the bed room. Bowser and D.K. were looking at the games by the TV.)  
  
Bowser: Look at this. Mischief Makers? What the heck kind of game is that? And Gex 64? Who plays this trash?  
  
D.K.: Let's hope we never have to...  
  
Luigi: We don't. Look what I brought!  
  
(Luigi took all of the games out of his back pack.)  
  
D.K.: Holy crap! He has every single Mario game! Even Dr. Mario 64!  
  
Bowser: Hey guys. I challenge the both of you to a Mario Kart race.  
  
Luigi & D.K.: You're on!  
  
(Outside, Waluigi is hanging up a dry erase board on the door of the clubhouse., then he used a blue marker and wrote: CLUBHOUSE. He thought a little while, then he wrote with a red marker: TONIGHT'S GAME: SPIN THE BOTTLE. Wario walked by holding an innertube.)  
  
Wario: What have you got there, Waluigi? Spin the Bottle? Cool man! I wanna play!  
  
Waluigi: Well, tell everyone about this. I need more players.  
  
Wario: Okay. I'll tell them.  
  
(Wario walks away.)  
  
Waluigi: This will be one interesting night... 


	4. Spin the Bottle, Lady!

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 4: Spin the Bottle Lady!  
  
Mario: Say what? Waluigi wants to play Spin the Bottle in the clubhouse?  
  
Wario: That's what he said anyway.  
  
(Wario was talking to Mario and Peach in Phil's room. The sun was beginning to set.)  
  
Peach: I don't think I like the idea of kissing Waluigi, but I do like the idea of kissing Mario. Count me and Mario in!  
  
Mario: Peach! I do NOT approve of this!  
  
(Wario went into the boys' room where Toad has joined Luigi, D.K. and Bowser in the kart race.)  
  
D.K.: Take that, Lightweight!  
  
Toad: Hey! No fair! Unfair advantage! Unfair advantage!  
  
Bowser: Darn it, Toad! That's the fifth time you called that!  
  
Toad: Can't I play as Mario?  
  
Luigi: Toad, you know the rule. No!  
  
(Mario and friends have a rule for multiplayer Mario games. They can only play as themself. For example, Toad can only play as Toad. This usually isn't a problem, but it's a little questionable now.)  
  
Wario: Hey guys. I know you're in the middle of arguing, but can I tell you something?  
  
Toad: Sure. Go ahead.  
  
Wario: Well, Waluigi set up a game of Spin the Bottle in the clubhouse. Mario and Peach already joined in.  
  
Bowser: A chance to kiss Toadstool? I'm in!  
  
(Bowser ran downstairs.)  
  
D.K.: Really? I'd love to kiss Peach. Wait for me, Bowser!  
  
(D.K. ran downstairs.)  
  
Toad: Getting kissed by Peach isn't unusual for me, but it's fun to be with Mario. I'm going.  
  
(Toad ran downstairs.)  
  
Luigi: Hey! What about the race? Oh well. If there's gonna be dudes kissing other dudes there's bound to be some laughs. I'm gonna go too.  
  
(Luigi and Wario ran downstairs and saw Yoshi in the kitchen.)  
  
Yoshi: Hey. What's all the fuss about? I heard something about kissing games. I wanna play games.  
  
Wario: Come with us then.  
  
(Yoshi followed Luigi and Wario to the clubhouse and went inside. Waluigi had taken out the rug and put a portable lamp on the table. Everyone sat in a circle. The order they sat in going clockwise was Peach, Luigi, Waluigi, Bowser, Mario, Toad, Yoshi, Wario, and D.K. Waluigi put a Mountain Dew bottle in the middle.)  
  
Waluigi: Okay guys. You know how this works. You spin the bottle and kiss the person it points to, then they take their turn. Since I'm soooo nice I'll let my rival, Luigi, go first.  
  
Luigi: Gee. Thanks.  
  
(Luigi took the bottle and gave it a good spin. It landed on Mario.)  
  
Luigi: Dude, I'm not doing this.  
  
Mario: What? You can't even kiss you own big brother? C'mon. We've been doing it for years.  
  
Luigi: Mario! Don't say that out loud! Fine.  
  
(Luigi went to Mario and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.)  
  
Mario: Ee hee hee hee hee...  
  
Waluigi: Your turn, Mario.  
  
(Mario spun the bottle. It landed on Wario.)  
  
Wario: Pucker up, Mario.  
  
Mario: God. I''m not kissing something that ugly.  
  
Peach: It won't be that bad. Just pretend he's a girl.  
  
Mario: I'll just close my eyes and...  
  
(Mario kissed Wario on the cheek. Some of the dudes laughed.)  
  
Peach: There. That wasn't so bad.  
  
Mario: Frankly, I beg to differ.  
  
Waluigi: Your turn, brother.  
  
(Wario gave the bottle a nice fast spin. When it started to slow down, it looked like it was going to land on D.K., but then it just barely landed on Peach. This time, Peach didn't look too happy.)  
  
Wario: Oh ho ho! I never thought I'd get to kiss Peach.  
  
Peach: Yikes!  
  
(Wario dived at Peach and gave her a slobbery kiss right on the lips.)  
  
Wario: Ha ha! I did it!  
  
Peach: You really did do it. Hiiiyaaa!  
  
(Wario kicked Wario between the legs. Everyone laughed.)  
  
Toad: Whoa! She kicked him in the nads!  
  
Wario: Mind if I...lay down here? Uhhh...  
  
Waluigi: Spin the bottle, lady.  
  
(Peach gave the bottle a fair spin. It landed on Bowser, who seemed really happy.)  
  
Bowser: Oooooh wow. I've been waiting for this.  
  
Peach: Gah! Let's get this over with!  
  
(Peach gave Bowser a kiss on the nose.)  
  
Bowser: I think I'm in love...  
  
Peach: Yeah? Well, it better not be with me because that kiss didn't mean a thing. Now take your turn.  
  
(Bowser spun the bottle like Wario did, then it slowed down and landed on...Yoshi.)  
  
Bowser: There is no way I'm gonna kiss that gay dinosaur! Waluigi, how long is this gonna last anyway?  
  
Waluigi: It's nine right now so I think that ninethirty will be good.  
  
Bowser: Okay I'll wait thirty minutes because I'm not kissing Yoshi.  
  
(Waluigi and Wario whisper for awhile.)  
  
Waluigi: Sorry Bowser. I can't let you do that. If you don't kiss Yoshi within the next five minutes, Wario will use the Spice Girls treatment on you.  
  
Bowser: I'm...not...doing it!  
  
Yoshi: Bowser, just pretend I'm Wendy O. Koopa. You'd kiss her, right?  
  
Bowser: Oh God...  
  
Peach: I know. I'll fix up Yoshi a bit.  
  
(Peach took out some lips stick, some eyeshadow, and some blush.)  
  
Peach: Yoshi, hold still while I put this makeup on you.  
  
(Peach put the makeup on Yoshi so now his lips were red, his cheeks were pink, and his eyelids were blue.)  
  
Bowser: I'm still not kissing him.  
  
Peach: What's the matter with you? Pretend that you're kissing me. I know you like that.  
  
Bowser: If you're gonna put it that way...  
  
Yoshi: (girl-like voice) Oh, I'm Princess Toadstool and I just loooove Bowser. Come here and kiss me, loverboy.  
  
(Bowser went over to Yoshi and kissed him on the lips.)  
  
Bowser: Uhhhh...gross.  
  
Yoshi: Let's hope we never have to do that again.  
  
Waluigi: ...And your five minutes are up. What's that? You two kissed? All right. Yoshi, your turn.  
  
(Yoshi gave the bottle a decent spin. It landed on Wario.)  
  
Yoshi: Look, since you're so ugly I'll just give you a quick lick on the cheek.  
  
(Yoshi leaned to his left and licked Wario.)  
  
Waluigi: That was quick. Wario's turn.  
  
(Wario gave the bottle another fast spin. It landed on Toad.)  
  
Toad: Um...  
  
Wario: The mushroom? This should be easy.  
  
(Wario went to kiss Toad. Just as his lips touched Toad, the fungi kicked him in the nads. Everyone laughs.)  
  
Wario: Yaaahhh! What'd you do that for?  
  
Toad: No reason. It just looked like fun.  
  
Wario: Son-of-a...uhhhh.  
  
D.K.: Spin the bottle, Toad. I want to be kissed.  
  
Waluigi: Yeah. Whatever D.K. said.  
  
(Toad gave the bottle a slow spin. It landed on Waluigi.)  
  
Toad: Dammit! I got the freaky host!  
  
Waluigi: Just get your butt over here.  
  
(Toad gave Waluigi a little peck on the cheek.)  
  
Waluigi: Watch how it's done.  
  
(Waluigi spun the bottle. It was almost as slow as Toad's spin. I'm not even going to tell you who it landed on...)  
  
Waluigi: No way! I'm not kissing my rival!  
  
Luigi: C'mon, Waluigi. Mario kissed Wario.  
  
Waluigi: I'm not doing this.  
  
Mario: Don't make Luigi use the grandma treatment on you.  
  
Waluigi: Grandma treatment?  
  
Luigi: Yeah. Kiss me or I'll pinch your cheeks like your grandma only it'll hurt much much worse.  
  
Waluigi: I...er...uh...look at the time. It's nine-thirty. Have a nice night.  
  
(Waluigi runs out of the clubhouse.)  
  
Luigi: What a wuss.  
  
(Everyone groaned and started to walk out of the clubhouse.)  
  
Wario: My balls still hurt. I'm not sure if I can walk back to the house.  
  
Mario: Oh, well, good night then.  
  
(Mario turns the light off and left.)  
  
Wario: Shoot! Mario! I...I don't wanna be out here alone!  
  
(Mario went into Phil's room with Peach. Luigi, Waluigi, Yoshi, and Toad are hangging out in the boys room.)  
  
Luigi: I get the top bunk. Mario always gets the top bunk, only he's sleeping with Peach now.  
  
Waluigi: Okay. I get the other top bunk.  
  
Yoshi: Me and Toad will share a bottom bunk. Wario can have the last one.  
  
Toad: What about Bowser and D.K.?  
  
Yoshi: What about them? They already agreed to sleep in the living room.  
  
Luigi: Well, good night guys. 


	5. The Mighty Belchin' Power Drinkers

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 5: The Mighty Belchin' Power Drinkers  
  
Begin Day 2...  
  
(In the morning, Yoshi woke up and saw Toad snuggled up next to him. Yoshi got up and checked the other bunks. There was no Luigi, Waluigi, or Wario. Yoshi woke up Toad.)  
  
Toad: Hey. What's up?  
  
Yoshi: I am. And so is everyone else. Do you know where they went?  
  
Toad: Don't ask me. I just woke up. They're probably downstairs  
  
(Yoshi and Toad went downstairs. They found Mario and Luigi cooking breakfast. Bowser and Wario were sitting at the table listening to the radio. Everyone else were eating pancakes in the living room.)  
  
Bowser: Wario, how can you listen to this crap? I hate N' Stink!  
  
Wario: It's better than-  
  
Bowser: Screw you! Heavy metal rocks! Mario! Where's my breakfast?  
  
Mario: Hold your horses. You can't rush a cooking genius. All right. It's done.  
  
(Mario brought the frying pan the the table and plopped a pancake onto Bowser's plate.)  
  
Bowser: I think I ordered syrup with this.  
  
(Luigi put a bottle of syrup on the table.)  
  
Luigi: There. Are you happy?  
  
Bowser: Yes. Thank you.  
  
Yoshi: Hey Luigi. I want some pancakes.  
  
Luigi: Okay. Just wait half an hour and I'll see if I can serve you. Seriously. Bowser eats a lot of pancakes.  
  
Yoshi: Toad and I'll be upstairs. Okay?  
  
(Yoshi and Toad went to the boys' room and looked around.)  
  
Toad: Um...what should we do?  
  
Yoshi: I don't know. Let's have a quick round of Mario Tennis.  
  
(And so they played Mario Tennis for awhile. Later Yoshi won a set and needed another one to win the match. The score was 40-15. Toad was tense. If Yoshi got the next point he'd win the match and Toad didn't want that to happen. It was Toad's serve.)  
  
Yoshi: Taste defeat!  
  
Toad: Gah! I'll show you!  
  
(In the game, Toad served at 87mph and Yoshi returned with a topspin. Toad ran forward and hit with a drop shot, then ran back. Off screen, Yoshi decided to taunt Toad.)  
  
Yoshi: I pity you, Toad. Such a weak shot...  
  
(Toad got upset. He whacked the ball with a smash and almost hit his opponent.)  
  
Yoshi: Whoa! Hit a little harder, buddy.  
  
(Yoshi nailed the shot. Just as Toad was about to hit the ball, the real Yoshi got a dirty idea. He leaned toward Toad and licked him in the face.)  
  
Toad: Waaahhh! You bastard! You cheated!  
  
(Just then, D.K. walked into the room.)  
  
D.K.: Toad! This is a G rated story. You can't curse...unless it's funny. But this isn't funny so you can't curse. Thank you, have a nice day.  
  
(D.K. walked out.)  
  
Yoshi: Ha ha. D.K. yelled at you.  
  
Toad: You little...  
  
Yoshi: Hey. I don't wanna fight. Let's turn the game off and find something else to do. Okay?  
  
Toad: Well...er...okay. Say, did you bother checking out the tot box yet?  
  
Yoshi: Shy Guy's Toy Box? Sorry. I'm only in Dry Dry Outpost. I haven't played Paper Mario lately.  
  
Toad: No. I meant the toy box in the corner. Knowing how curious you are, I thought you'd check it out.  
  
Yoshi: I didn't get the chance. Well, let's open it up.  
  
(Yoshi and Toad went to the toy box and opened it.)  
  
Yoshi: Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers action figures! Cool!  
  
Toad: Uncool! Power Rangers suck!  
  
Yoshi: Is that what you really think. I think they're cool. They beat up monsters from space. Space monsters! Cool!  
  
Toad: Yeah. But they beat'em up the same exact way. Every time! There's a monster and they start fighting it, then the monster gets really big and the rangers use some stupid robots, then later the robots join together to form a big ass robot-  
  
(D.K. walked in.)  
  
D.K.: No cursing!  
  
Toad: Then the robot pulls out a sword and kills the fucking monster with it. End of story!  
  
D.K.: I said no cursing!  
  
Toad: What the hell is your problem, D.K.?  
  
D.K.: I said...screw you. Pancakes are done.  
  
(D.K. walked out.)  
  
Toad: See? Those Power Rangers do the same bull shit all the time. They never change.  
  
Yoshi: Wow. Power Rangers really do suck. I feel like making fun of them now. I bet all the really do is sit around and drink alcoholic beverages.  
  
Toad: Like they're some kind of power drinkers or something.  
  
Yoshi: I know. Let's call them...  
  
Yoshi & Toad: The Mighty Belchin' Power Drinkers! Yeah!  
  
Toad: Let's change their names too. This pink one will now be called "Champagne."  
  
Yoshi: And the red one is now "Hawaiian Punch."  
  
Toad: Is that an alcoholic drink?  
  
Yoshi: No. But it tastes good. Black is "Beer."  
  
Toad: The green one will be called "Wine."  
  
Yoshi: What do we call the yellow one?  
  
Toad: How about "Tonic?" Does it really matter?  
  
Yoshi: No. Give the blue one a cool name.  
  
Toad: Hmm. This guy looks crazy enough to drink liquor. His name will be "Liquor."  
  
Yoshi: Cool. Let's make them beat the crap out of each other.  
  
(Yoshi picked up the pink drinker. Toad picked up yellow.)  
  
Toad: (for Tonic) Champagne, why do you drink that horrid stuff. You know tonic is way better.  
  
Yoshi: (for Champagne) Tonic, your beverage stinks. Champagne is the best stuff.  
  
Toad: (for Tonic) Don't make me hurt you.  
  
Yoshi: (for Champagne) No, I'm gonna hurt you! Hiiiya!  
  
(Yoshi made Champagne kick Tonic, but instead of hitting the toy, he hit Toad's hand.)  
  
Toad: Hey! You're supposed to hit the figure, not my finger.  
  
Yoshi: Sorry.  
  
Toad: (for Tonic) How dare you. Take this. Kwaaa!  
  
(Toad made Tonic hit Yoshi's hand.)  
  
Yoshi: You nitwit!  
  
(Yoshi picked up the red drinker.)  
  
Yoshi: (for Hawaiian Punch) Cool! Cat fight!  
  
Toad: (for Tonic) Stay out of this, Hawaiian Punch. Aieee!  
  
Yoshi: (for Hawaiian Punch) Oh shoot!  
  
(Yoshi dropped Hawaiian Punch.)  
  
Toad: That's what I thought.  
  
Yoshi: (for Champagne) This isn't over. Pterodactyl!  
  
(Yoshi dug in the toy box and pulled out the pink pterodactyl robot, then put Champagne in it.)  
  
Yoshi: (for Champagne) Wha ha ha ha!  
  
Toad: Crap! What did Tonic drive again?  
  
(Yoshi crushed Tonic with the pterodactyl.)  
  
Toad: Gah! You flatted Tonic!  
  
(D.K. walked in.)  
  
D.K.: What's with all the noise? The pancakes are done. What in the world? You guys are playing with Power Rangers?! Oh my God! I gotta tell the guys about this!  
  
(D.K. ran out.)  
  
Toad: Shit! Yoshi, put the toys away and for the love of God do not mention the Power Drinkers to anybody. You got that?  
  
Yoshi: Yeah Tonic...er...Toad.  
  
Toad: Dammit... 


	6. The Watery Chapter

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 6: The Watery Chapter  
  
(While Yoshi and Toad were eating breakfast, most of the other guys were outside. It was a sunny spring day. Waluigi was looking at the dry erase board on the club house and erased the words: SPIN THE BOTTLE. Wario was in the swimming pool sitting lazily in his inner tube. Mario was climbing a tree that was behind the club house. Peach, as usual, was being a bimbo.)  
  
Peach: Don't hurt yoursekf.  
  
Mario: Peach, I think I know how to climb trees.  
  
(Not surprisingly, Luigi was on the trampoline doing his really cool jumps again. Bowser and D.K. were nearby.)  
  
D.K.: You know, we all want to fly and with jumps like that, Luigi comes sooooo close.  
  
Bowser: Yeah. I could watch him all day...  
  
D.K.: Let's throw some rocks and make him crash.  
  
Bowser: Cool. Okay. We better find some good rocks.  
  
(Bowser and D.K. walk to the driveway and picked up a bunch of rocks, then went back to the trampoline. Luigi wasn't jumping now, but he was still on the trampoline.)  
  
Luigi: I heard what you guys said. Do you honestly think you can nail me?  
  
Bowser: We can try. Now jump!  
  
(Bowser chucked a rock at Luigi and missed.)  
  
Luigi: Nyah nyah!  
  
D.K.: Dodge this one then.  
  
(D.K. chucked a rock at Luigi and also missed.)  
  
Luigi: You couldn't hit the backside of a barn if your life depended on it.  
  
Bowser: Check out this one. Rocks o' fury!  
  
(Bowser chucked groups of three rocks at Luigi three times. Still none of them hit the target. In fact, one landed right in the pool. Ker-plunk! Wario looked at Bowser from under his sunglasses.)  
  
Wario: Don't throw rocks at me. I'm trying to work on my tan.  
  
Bowser: Sorry. My bad. D.K., help me hit Bouncy Boy!  
  
(Now Bowser and D.K. were throwing tons of rocks. Luigi, with some careful jumping, still manages to avoid them. Waluigi came.)  
  
Waluigi: What are you trying to do?  
  
D.K.: Trying to hit Luigi and make him crash.  
  
Waluigi: Sure doesn't look like it. Let me take a shot at him.  
  
(Waluigi took the last rock, aimed carefully and fired when Luigi was in mid-air.)  
  
Luigi: Hey. What are you doing, Waluigi? Ow! Dwaaahhh!  
  
(The rock hit Luigi and he started to fall toward the pool.)  
  
Wario: Don't block my sunlight. I'm trying to- What the? Luigi, what are ya-  
  
(Ker-splosh! Luigi landed right on Wario and the both of them went underwater for a few seconds, then they surfaced. Luigi was on top of Wario, who was still on the inner tube.)  
  
Luigi: Hey Wario. What's up?  
  
Wario: What do you think I am? Santa Clause? Get off my lap and find your own inner tube.  
  
(Wario shoved Luigi off him and into the water. Luigi swam over to the edge of the pool.)  
  
Bowser: That was kinda cool.  
  
Waluigi: I wasn't expecting him to fall on Wario though...  
  
(Meanwhile, Mario was done with tree climbing and walks past the club house. Mario took a quick look at the sign. It wasn't the same. The night before it said: CLUB HOUSE TONIGHT'S GAME: SPIN THE BOTTLE. Now it said: CLUB HOUSE TONIGHT'S GAME: TRUTH OR DARE.)  
  
Mario: Hmm? Truth or Dare? Why didn't I think of that?  
  
(Then Mario walked to the pool. Along the way, he went past another tree that looked good for climbing. I mean, sure, there were a lot of trees around except in the yard, but only this one and the one by the club house looked good for climbing. Anyway, Wario was still in his inner tube and Luigi was hanging onto the edge of the pool.)  
  
Mario: What's up?  
  
Luigi: What does it look like?  
  
Mario: Looks like you're taking a refreshing dip.  
  
Luigi: Yeah...close enough.  
  
(Mario walked past the pool and into a field. Phil didn't talk about this part of the yard. Since Mario had a knack for exploring, he went behind the garage. There was a large sand crater. Then he went to the very back corner of the yard. There was another van and two boats that were covered with a tarp.)  
  
Mario: I wouldn't be suprised if the boys played back here.  
  
(Mario still felt like walking around so he went back to the garage and walked down the driveway until he got to the fork. He already saw everything on the right so he went left towards the bridge. Meanwhile back at the pool, Bowser and D.K. look at Luigi, who was still hanging onto the egde.)  
  
Bowser: Hey Luigi. How's the water?  
  
Luigi: To tell you the truth, it's actually quite nice.  
  
Bowser: Huh? Nice?  
  
D.K.: You're supposed to say something like "It's freezing" or something. You're no fun anymore.  
  
Bowser: Yeah. Let's go back inside.  
  
(Bowser and D.K. go into the sliding door and go upstairs. Before they go into the boys' room they hear Toad and Yoshi's voices.)  
  
Yoshi: Saber-tooth Tiger!  
  
Toad: Fuck! You crushed Hawaiian Punch with Tonic's robot! You play Hawaiian Punch this time. I'll be Liquor.  
  
Yoshi: Okay. Tyrannosaurus!  
  
Toad: Dammit! Let's play Banjo-Kazooie....  
  
Bowser: Why are they talking about beverages and dinosaurs? They're making me thirsty.  
  
D.K.: I think there's some Hi-C in the fridge.  
  
(Now Mario is returning to the house. He was holding a white plastic bag. Mario was about to walk up the driveway when he noticed something. It was a small hole in the hillside. Mario set the bag down and crawled into the hole. It was just big enough for him and there were roots everywhere.)  
  
Mario: I feel like a Monty Mole.  
  
(Mario crawled out and picked up the bag, the walked all the way to the house and went into the kitchen. Bowser and D.K. were raiding the fridge.)  
  
D.K.: Oh. Hi Mario. What's with the bag?  
  
Mario: Just a little something I picked up at the store.  
  
Bowser: Can we see it?  
  
Mario: Sure. Just don't tell Wario.  
  
(Mario opened the bag and took out a really big water gun. Actually, there was also a big water tank and a hose to connect the gun with the tank.)  
  
D.K.: Isn't that...the Super Soaker Huge Number?!  
  
Mario: Yup. It was the last one too.  
  
Bowser: If I remember right, this baby holds 4 gallons and has a shooting range of 40 feet. I wanna get some of this.  
  
Mario: Hmm. If you ask him nicely, I'm sure Luigi will let you use his Super Soaker Big Number. It's almost as good.  
  
Bowser: Uh...I don't think we can after what we did to him. Right, D.K.?  
  
D.K.: Er...yeah. That's right? See ya!  
  
(Bowser and D.K. ran away.)  
  
Mario: I wonder was that was about. Oh well... Time to take this out for a test drive.  
  
(Outside, Wario was sound asleep in his inner tube. Luigi had just climbed out of the pool when Mario come out of the sliding door wearing his new water gun equipment.)  
  
Luigi: Hi Mario. Nice gear.  
  
Mario: Shhh! Is Wario asleep.  
  
Luigi: That's boy's gonna get sunburn like that, but yeah. Don't point that thing at me.  
  
Mario: I'm not. Wanna see something really cool?  
  
Luigi: What's cooler than Toad kicking Wario in the nads?  
  
Mario: This is.  
  
(Mario lifted the Super Soaker Huge Number and aimed it at Wario, then he pulled the trigger. He shot him right in the nostril.)  
  
Wario: ...snore...snor-gurgle...cough... What the hell? You short son-of-a- bitch!  
  
Mario: Yikes!  
  
(Wario quicly got out of the pool and chases Mario around the yard. Luigi stands there and laughs.)  
  
Wario: Get back here! This is for your own good! You're only making it worse! I promise I won't hurt you!  
  
Luigi: Cool. 


	7. A Cheap Little Soap Opera

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 7: A Cheap Little Soap Opera  
  
(Upstairs in the house, Yoshi and Toad were playing Banjo-Kazooie. Oh, I forgot. That's a one-player game. Let's just say that Toad was at the controls and Yoshi was being the back seat driver.)  
  
Yoshi: Jump over to that bouy now and save the jinjo.  
  
Toad: Okay. Oops. I'm in the water.  
  
Yoshi: Look out for the shark!  
  
Toad: Don't worry. I got the jinjo.  
  
Yoshi: Rusty Bucket Bay is hard. There should be an extra honeycomb piece in that shack over there.  
  
Toad: Yeah. Whatever...  
  
(Peach came into the room.)  
  
Peach: Hi boys. Lunch is ready.  
  
Toad: Weak! Peach! You made me drown!  
  
Peach: Oh. Sorry. Lunch is now being served.  
  
(Peach, Yoshi and Toad went to the kitchen. Bowser and Wario were sitting at the table, listening to the radio. Wario was soaked from head to toe because of Mario.)  
  
Wario: What about AC/DC? Do you have anything against them?  
  
Bowser: What about them? They're da bomb!  
  
Wario: Okay. I'll turn this knob and...  
  
Bowser: Oh no! Not Spice Sluts again! Yaaargh!  
  
Peach: Will you two cut it out?  
  
(Peach took two plates off the counter and gave them to Yoshi and Toad.)  
  
Peach: Here you are, boys. Macaroni and tuna.  
  
Yoshi & Toad: Sweeeet...  
  
(Yoshi and Toad went into the living room. Mario, Luigi, Waluigi, and D.K. were watching Blue's Clues. They looked like they were being hypnotized by it.)  
  
Yoshi: What in the world?!  
  
Mario, Luigi, Waluigi, & D.K.: The...cuteness. Must...watch...the...cuteness.  
  
Toad: Wow Yoshi. I thought your cuteness was hypnotic, but this is totally screwed up.  
  
Yoshi: Maybe we should eat this upstairs before we get hypnotized  
  
(Yoshi and Toad went upstairs into the boys' room....only to find that Bowser was up there playing Super Mario 64.)  
  
Toad: Bowser! My game! What have you done?!  
  
Bowser: Did you really want to play a Banjo game? Didn't you hear the gossip about what Peach and Banjo did to Luigi?  
  
Toad: Bowser, that wasn't gossip. Peach and Banjo really did turn Luigi's life into a living hell.  
  
Yoshi: Yeah. I was there.  
  
Bowser: Exactly what happened?  
  
Toad: Let me put it this way. Sleepless nights, slavery, and other bull shit.  
  
Bowser: Um...  
  
Yoshi: Actually, I think the story begins at Mario's Pad.  
  
Bowser: Mario's Pad? But that got torn down years ago.  
  
Yoshi: Exactly. Mario and Luigi were still in the house when it happened. Or so they said. Anyway, they were in the house when some contruction workers tore it down. That forced them to live with Peach in the castle until they could get a new house. Now Banjo was already living there and seemed like a nice guy.  
  
Bowser: Dude...  
  
Toad: I know. It's terrible. Peach and Banjo overworked Luigi. They didn't even bother Mario. Just Luigi. They worked him all day and wouldn't give him much of a chance to sleep at night. But during the, very little, free time he did get, he mastered a couple of attacks. The Luigi Cyclone and the Fire Uppercut. And during this time, Mario was getting more and more pissed off at Peach and Banjo. Then it happened......a great......fight......he did......was blown away......really cool......then she......tried......didn't work......was defeated......awsome.  
  
Bowser: Come again?  
  
Yoshi: What Toad is trying to say is that one day just outside the castle, a fight broke out between Luigi and Bowser.  
  
Bowser: Oh yeah! Showdown!  
  
Yoshi: Banjo resorted to using moves like scratch and bite while Luigi...well...I'm sure you know how he attacks. It was cool too. Just as Banjo had Luigi in a bear hug, he lashed out his right arm, aimed at the face and blew Banjo away with a Fire Uppercut. Don't know where he landed either. Then Peach came out and challenged Luigi. Like Banjo, she scratches, but she had another "attack"...Hair Pull. Luigi hated that. He's really picky when it comes to his hair. You should've seen the look on his face. The pain...the anger...the really pissed off look he has in Super Smash Bros.!  
  
Bowser: Ooooh...scary.  
  
Toad: You should've seen Mario too! Boy, I've never seen him so mad. Reminds me of a Primape with a rage attack.  
  
Bowser: Sorry. I don't do Pokemon.  
  
Toad: Believe me, it's pretty bad.  
  
Yoshi: Yeah. Mario hit Peach with thee most awsome Trip Attack ever, then Luigi smacked her around with the Luigi Cyclone attack, then used used all his strength and Bowser Tossed Peach square into the castle wall and knocked her out cold. His two and a half years of back-breaking slavery were over.  
  
Bowser: Er...Bowser Toss?  
  
Yoshi: Luigi picked up Peach, swung her around and threw her.  
  
Bowser: Whoa. Cool. But still, I didn't know he could do that.  
  
(Just then, Luigi, himself, walked in.)  
  
Luigi: You didn't know I could do what?  
  
Bowser: Um...get so many coins on Tiny Huge Island. I'm still trying to beat your score.  
  
Luigi: Oh, I thought you guys were talking about something that would make me mad. See ya.  
  
(Luigi left.)  
  
Bowser: That was close.  
  
Toad: Yeah. What ever you do, don't mention this to him. He's really sensitive about it.  
  
Bowser: Okay. Huh?  
  
(Luigi walked in again.)  
  
Luigi: I forgot to tell you guys something. Mario and the others are still hypnotized. I turned the TV off, but they won't snap out of it.  
  
Bowser: I'll help you out.  
  
(Bowser and Luigi walked out. Yoshi and Toad stare at each other in silence for a minute.)  
  
Toad: You know, Banjo sucks dick. He can kiss my ass for all I care.  
  
Yoshi: Yeah... Did Bowser believe us? 


	8. A Cure For Hypnosis

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 8: A Cure For Hypnosis  
  
(For the rest of the afternoon Mario, Wario, Waluigi, and D.K. just sat in the living room, still under a trance. Luigi and Bowser were trying to get them to snap out of it. Yoshi and Toad were playing Power Drinkers again. They also played Banjo-Kazooie, only this time they killed Banjo on perpose. Peach was just walking outside. A few hours later, Luigi and Bowser were still trying to wake up the others.)  
  
Luigi: I don't get it. Even a Screech attack in the ear don't work. Most people hate it when I screech in my Mario Party voice.  
  
Bowser: Speak up. I can't hear a thing. I think you blew my eardrums.  
  
Mario, Wario, Waluigi, & D.K.: Watch...cute...blue...puppy....  
  
Bowser: Good thing you're not in that trance, Luigi. How'd you counter it?  
  
Luigi: I think I thought of a brown dog instead of a blue one.  
  
Bowser: Oh, that reeeeeally helps.  
  
Luigi: Seriously. This dog talks and he's with a guy that says "zoinks" all the time.  
  
(Bowser though for a moment, then snapped his fingers.)  
  
Bowser: Scooby Doo! Good idea! I remember seeing a Scooby tape around here.  
  
Luigi: It's this one. I'll put it in the VCR.  
  
(Luigi put the tape in the VCR and turned the TV on.)  
  
Luigi: Hope this works...  
  
(Half an hour passed.)  
  
Mario, Wario, Waluigi, & D.K.: Brown...doggy...funny. Must...watch...mystery...  
  
Bowser: Crap! No good! Now this is hypnotizing them! You idiot!  
  
Luigi: I tried...  
  
(Peach walked in, carrying a wooden spoon.)  
  
Peach: Guys. Why don't you take a break? I'm making cookies for Waluigi's Truth or Dare game. And has anyone seen Yoshi and Toad?  
  
Luigi: Waluigi? Cookies? Truth or Dare?  
  
Bowser: Now we really have to wake them up.  
  
Peach: Take a break, guys. They'll probably get hungey sooner or later.  
  
Luigi: Hmm... Good point.  
  
Peach: Well, I'll be in the kitchen if you need me.  
  
(Peach went back into the kitchen.)  
  
Bowser: C'mon, Luigi. Let's check on Yoshi and Toad.  
  
(Bowser and Luigi went upstairs. Before they went into the boys' room, they heard Yoshi and Toad's voices.)  
  
Yoshi: Beer. What does Beer drive?  
  
Toad: Triceratops...I think.  
  
Yoshi: Champagne?  
  
Toad: Tyrannosaurus.  
  
Yoshi: Wine?  
  
Toad: Um...Saber-tooth...  
  
Yoshi: You suck!  
  
Bowser: Why are they talking about beverages and dinos again?  
  
Luigi: Beverages and dinosaurs? Let's find out?  
  
(Luigi opened the door and saw Yoshi holding a green ranger and a yellow Saber-tooth Tiger.)  
  
Yoshi, Toad, Bowser, & Luigi: Um...  
  
Luigi: Do you two realize how stupid you look? Why are you playing with Power Rangers?  
  
Bowser: Yeah. That was sooooo six years ago.  
  
Toad: For your information they're not the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. They're the Mighty Belchin' Power Drinkers.  
  
Luigi: ...Kay. I try to stay away from those things so I'll be going now.  
  
(Luigi and Bowser left.)  
  
Yoshi: Go go Power Drinkers!  
  
Toad: Shut up. I hope Luigi didn't take that seriously.  
  
(Luigi and Bowser went downstairs and saw no one was in the living room, but there was one heck of a scent coming from the kitchen so they went in there. Looks like Peach was right about something for once. Hunger did get the best of them. Mario, Wario, Waluigi, and D.K. were at the stove, eagerly waiting for Peach to give them some cookies.)  
  
Wario: (singing) We just figured out Blue's clues, we just fig... I mean... (still singing) We just found the cookies, we just found the cookies, we just found the cookies cause they smell so good. Show me the cookies!  
  
Peach: Just a minute, weirdo. Okay. Who wants to lick the bowl?  
  
Mario, Wario, Waluigi, & D.K.: (shouting over each other) Oh! I wanna! Pick me! I want the bowl!  
  
Luigi: Wow, Peach. I guess you were right about about this. I still worry about Wario though.  
  
Peach: There's nothing like fresh baked cookies. Say, have you seen Toad and Yoshi yet?  
  
Bowser: Let's just say that they're playing with crappy toys.  
  
Peach: Okay. Waluigi, you better take this plate of cookies to the club house and get the game ready.  
  
(Peach handed Waluigi a plate full of cookies. Waluigi ran toward the door.)  
  
Waluigi: Oh boy! Oatmeal, peanut butter, and chocolate chip cookies!  
  
(Waluigi left.)  
  
Peach: Well, in a few minutes I'll go to the club house and play a little Truth or Dare. Who's with me?  
  
Mario, Luigi, Bowser, & D.K.: We are!  
  
Wario: Look! There's one of Blue's clues! I'll write it in our Handy Dandy Notebook.  
  
Peach: Let's ditch the wierdo. 


	9. How Dare You!

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 9: How Dare You!  
  
(Mario, Luigi, and Peach went to the club house and went inside. Waluigi had put the rug back in the middle of the floor and had the cookies on the table.)  
  
Waluigi: Is this everyone?  
  
Peach: There's some more on the way.  
  
(Just then, Bowser and D.K. walked in dragging Yoshi and Toad behind them.)  
  
Toad: May I ask you what's going on here?  
  
Bowser: We're going to play Truth or Dare and you're going to like it. Now sit down and shut up!  
  
(Everyone sat in a circle. The order they sat in, going clockwise, was Peach, Luigi, Mario, Waluigi, D.K., Toad, Yoshi, then Bowser. This might not matter, but anyway...)  
  
Waluigi: Let's see... Mario gets first honors.  
  
Mario: Thanks. Bowser, Truth or dare.  
  
Bowser: Dare. What can you possibly make me do?  
  
Mario: Embarrass yourself. I dare you to go to the store and borrow an ice cube.  
  
Bowser: ...What?!  
  
Waluigi: Wow. That sucks. I'll be the judge so let's go to the store, Bowser.  
  
Bowser: Waaahhh! Darn it, Mario!  
  
(Waluigi and Bowser left the club house.)  
  
Luigi: Dude, what kind of dare is that?  
  
Mario: One that will embarrass him.  
  
Yoshi: Since nothing is happening, Toad, we'll review that last lesson again.  
  
(Yoshi pulls out a red ranger and a red Tyrannosaurus robot.)  
  
Yoshi: See Hawaiian Punch? He's red so he drives the red robot, in this case, Tyrannosaurus.  
  
Toad: Don't talk about this here!  
  
Peach, Mario, Luigi, & D.K.: Hmm?  
  
Toad: Aww...fuck...  
  
D.K.: Look! Yoshi and Toad are playing with Power Rangers again! I saw them do it this morning!  
  
(Everyone laugh. Waluigi and Bowser came back in. Bowser didn't look too happy and I held a small bag of ice cubes.)  
  
Bowser: That was soooo uncool.  
  
Waluigi: What are you talking about? You scared the lady stiff!  
  
Bowser: Actually, your face did it. I think I deserve a cookie for this.  
  
(Bowser went to the table and picked up a cookie and shoved it in his mouth. Before he claimed his spot between Yoshi and Peach, he went behind Mario.)  
  
Bowser: By the way...here's your god farsaken ice cubes!  
  
(Bowser put the ice cubes down Mario's shirt.)  
  
Mario: Aieee! That's cold! Get it out! Get it out!  
  
Bowser: I've never seen Mario squirm like that before. Heh heh heh. My turn. Peach. Truth or dare.  
  
Peach: Truth.  
  
Bowser: Truth, is it? Okay. Did you or did you not get beat up by Luigi?  
  
Yoshi & Toad: Uh oh.  
  
Peach: I remember one time Waluigi sold Luigi's underwear on eBay. I bought them to give to Daisy. Luigi found out about it and beat up me and Waluigi.  
  
Luigi: Damn right I did. Maybe I'll steal your bras and sell them.  
  
Bowser: Ooookay. Waluigi told me about this before so I know it's true.  
  
Yoshi & Toad: Whew...  
  
Peach: Waluigi. Truth or dare.  
  
Waluigi: Crunch...crunch...huh? What? Sorry. I was eating this cookie and I'm sitting by this wall so I can stay away from Yoshi and Toad.  
  
Toad: Shut up, Freakazoid! Leave us alone!  
  
Waluigi: What?! Anyway, Peach. I pick...dare.  
  
Peach: I never see you stand up straight so I dare you to, you know, stand up straight.  
  
Waluigi: That's too easy! What kind of dare is that? I want a different one. That's too stupid!  
  
Peach: If it's so easy then do it already.  
  
Waluigi: But...but...but...  
  
Mario: Shut up and do it so you can take your turn.  
  
(Waluigi got off his butt and started to stand up, but then he bonked his head on the ceiling because, like most sheds, the ceiling was lower near the walls. The idiot fell on D.K.)  
  
D.K.: Finally. Some attention.  
  
Waluigi: (operator-like voice) To continue playing, please insert one cookie.  
  
D.K.: Uh...you better do what he said, Mario. Get me one too. Peanut butter please  
  
(Mario got up and got two cookies, then he popped one of them in Waluigi's mouth and gave the other one to D.K.)  
  
Waluigi: That wasn't very nice of you, your highness. All right. My turn. Luigi. Truth or dare.  
  
Luigi: I'm not a wuss so I say dare.  
  
Waluigi: I dare you to...go in the house and give Wario a wedgie.  
  
Luigi: Cool. Time for some action.  
  
(Luigi and Waluigi left the club house and walked to the house. It was dark outside and the only light in the house was coming from the kitchen. Luigi and Waluigi went to the door.)  
  
Waluigi: Listen closely. I believe Wario is in the kitchen. All you have to do is give him a wedgie. I'd go in with you, but that would only make it harder to do. Now go, green one.  
  
(Luigi went in the door, then Waluigi heard Luigi and Wario's voices.)  
  
Luigi: Hee hee hee...  
  
Wario: Hi Luigi. Back from the game? What's with that gleam in your eye? What are ya- Waaahhh!  
  
Luigi: Yeah! I did it!  
  
(There were some cool electrical noises, then the door opened and Wario tossed Luigi out. Luigi looked like he got blasted, but he also held what looked like a yellow piece of cloth.)  
  
Luigi: It wasn't easy...but...I gave him...the wedgie.  
  
Waluigi: Yes. I can tell.  
  
(Luigi and Waluigi go back to the club house and go inside.)  
  
Bowser: Oh, thank goodness you're back. Yoshi and Toad are annoying us. I can't stand it!  
  
Luigi: My turn. Yoshi. Truth or dare. I'll make sure you won't like what you pick.  
  
Yoshi: I don't want to be a wuss. Dare.  
  
Luigi: I dare you to drink a special mixture that I shall make myself. You want to chicken out?  
  
Yoshi: No. These cookies are making me thirsty.  
  
Luigi: Suit yourself. You'll regret this.  
  
(Luigi walked out.)  
  
Toad: I thought he said you'd hate this.  
  
Yoshi: You know, I think something's wrong here.  
  
(In the kitchen, Luigi was looking in the fridge when Wario showed up.)  
  
Luigi: Let's see...this looks kinda gross...  
  
Wario: What are you trying to do now? It's bad enough that you gave me an atomic flying wedgie.  
  
Luigi: Oh yeah...well...you almost paralyzed me. Does Yoshi annoy you?  
  
Wario: He did fix the radio, but otherwise yes.  
  
Luigi: Find some gross food and put it in the blender. Now what's this? Did I mention Yoshi made me pull your undies? Oh! Look at this.  
  
(Luigi showed Wario a bottle of hot sause labled "Jamacan Hell Fire".)  
  
Wario: Ooooh doctor. That will work wonders on Yoshi's stomach. Some of this will help...oh that looks gross...  
  
(Back at the club house, most of the dudes were getting impatient until Luigi came back, holding a glass that contains an orange liquid.)  
  
Yoshi: Goodie goodie. I needed something to drink.  
  
Luigi: Here ya go, Yoshi.  
  
(Luigi handed the glass to Yoshi and he started to drink it.)  
  
Yoshi: Gulp...gulp...gulp...eep! Oh gross! What's with this stuff? Urp! Something's wrong with my tummy. I don't remember orange juice tasting so sickening.  
  
Luigi: That isn't orange juice, my fat-headed friend. It's actually lemon juice, hot sause, mustard, horse radish, and sourkraut.  
  
everyone: Whoa dude!  
  
Yoshi: I don't feel so good. D.K. Truth of dare.  
  
D.K.: Truth.  
  
Toad: Wuss.  
  
D.K.: Shut up! I dare you to shove that Power Ranger up your ass!  
  
Yoshi: Wait your turn. D.K., are you are are you not the real Donkey Kong? Ugh...  
  
D.K.: You can't believe a word Cranky says. You know how geezers are. They don't know what they're saying.  
  
Yoshi: Whatever you say... I gotta go a sec.  
  
(Yoshi walked out.)  
  
Waluigi: Maybe we should call it quits for tonight. Yoshi sounded awfully sick.  
  
D.K.: Darn. I wanted to dare Bowser to french kiss Yoshi.  
  
Bowser: You wish. C'mon guys. Let's go back to the house and go to bed.  
  
(Everyone left the club house. Waluigi took the cookies and turned the light off before he left. When they get to the house, Mario and Peach go into Phil's room, Bowser and D.K. stay in the living room and everyone else went into the boys' room. Wario was already fast asleep and Yoshi was in bed moaning and groaning. He also had a bowl next to the bed.)  
  
Toad: Do I really want to sleep with Yoshi? He looks like he's gonna puke any second.  
  
Luigi: Sleep on the couch in front of the TV then. Good night, dudes. 


	10. An Unlikely Friendship

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 10: An Unlikely Friendship  
  
By the way, this story takes place sometime during April 2001. With that said, begin Day 3...  
  
Bowser: Wario, for the love of God, turn that rap junk down!  
  
(Mario, Wario, Luigi and Bowser were in the kitchen. It is morning now. Peach, who was cooking breakfast, asks Luigi what kind of pancakes he wanted.)  
  
Peach: Normal, Mickey Mouse or dino?  
  
Luigi: Mickey Mouse please.  
  
(Peach went over to the stove and poured some pancake batter into the frying pan, then she made two smaill circles with the batter that touched the big one to create "mouse ears")  
  
Bowser: Keep it on this channel.  
  
Wario: No! I don't like this song!  
  
Bowser: Oh God! Noooo!  
  
Mario: Will you two be quiet? This is noise pollution, man.  
  
(Yoshi, Toad, Waluigi and D.K. were in the living room watching TV and also eating pancakes. D.K. had the remote.)  
  
Waluigi: Don't channel surf so fast. I think you're skipping all the good stuff.  
  
D.K.: Do you want to see a bunch of infomercials?  
  
Waluigi: No. There's nothing good on.  
  
Yoshi: I hate Thursday.  
  
Toad: This is gay. Anyone up for a round of tennis?  
  
Yoshi, D.K. & Waluigi: Yeah!  
  
(Back in the kitchen, Luigi was decorating his Mickey Mouse-shaped pancake. He gave it a butter smile, a syrup nose and two blueberries for the eyes.)  
  
Mario: What are you doing?  
  
Luigi: Making my pancake more interesting.  
  
Mario: Weegie, food isn't supposed to look interesting. Food is supposed to be eaten!  
  
Peach: Yeah. Quit playing with your food!  
  
Wario: Ha ha. Luigi got yelled at. Ha ha ha. Hey Bowser. Why aren't you laughing. You usually laugh when someone gets yelled at.  
  
Bowser: It's only funny when they say something like idiot or dipstick. (to himself) Honestly, I think his pancake is cute.  
  
Luigi: Well, if you're gonna be like that, Mario, I'm gonna eat this upstairs.  
  
(Luigi took his plate and left.)  
  
Bowser: Oh Luigi. Don't go- Wario! Shut that thing off!  
  
Wario: Make me. I dare you.  
  
Bowser: Oh fine. You win. I'm leaving.  
  
(Bowser also got up and left. In the boys' room, Yoshi, Toad, Waluigi and D.K. were playing Mario Tennis. Luigi was in the room too, but he just sat on the bottom bunk bed closest to the sliding door and sorta stared into space.)  
  
Waluigi: D.K., what did I tell you about being a dumbass?  
  
D.K.: Don't be a dumbass...  
  
Waluigi: Exactly. Let me play the net, Dumbass. Lose one more point and I'm gonna be mad.  
  
(D.K. lost the next point.)  
  
Waluigi: Now I'm mad! Dumbass!  
  
(Waluigi chased D.K. out of the room. Yoshi and Toad follow them. Luigi didn't take notice of the chase. He continued to stare out the window. Soon, Bowser walks in.)  
  
Bowser: Hey Luigi. What's up?  
  
(No response.)  
  
Bowser: Hey. I'm talking to you, Luigi. What's up?  
  
(Still no response.)  
  
Bowser: Ah, the strong silent type, huh?  
  
(Luigi still doesn't respond.)  
  
Bowser: You're pissed off at Mario, aren't you?  
  
Luigi: Jeez Bowser. Leave me alone.  
  
(Luigi climbed onto the top bunk. The pancake he decorated earliar was still on the bottom bunk.)  
  
Bowser: Uh...hey. I noticed you didn't eat your pancake. You still want it?  
  
Luigi: You really know how to annoy a guy, don't you? What are you hiding from me? You look like you got something else on your mind.  
  
Bowser: Do you even like Peach?  
  
Luigi: What's it to you?  
  
Bowser: In the club house she sat next to you both times.  
  
Luigi: And you sat next to her.  
  
Bowser: Not the first time. Seriously, do you like her? I heard that she worked you lke a slave for two and a half years.  
  
Luigi: For one thing it wasn't two and a half years, it was three years and- Hey! How did you know about this?! Don't tell me. Yoshi and Toad told you.  
  
Bowser: Actually, they did.  
  
Luigi: Fools.  
  
Bowser: I think its bogus that Peach and Banjo did that to you. I'm on your side for this one. Could you tell me more?  
  
Luigi: As long as you don't tell anyone...  
  
(Outside at the clubhouse, Waluigi was looking at the dry erase board and erased TRUTH OR DARE.)  
  
Waluigi: Let's see. What should we play tonight. Man, Thursdays are boring.  
  
(Waluigi was about to write on the board when something squirted him in the back of the head. Waluigi turned around and saw Mario pointing his Super Soaker Huge Number at him.)  
  
Mario: Hey you! Got a water gun?  
  
Waluigi: No. Why?  
  
Mario: Darn it. I'm looking for someone to have a water gun fight with me.  
  
Waluigi: Well, don't bother me. I'm busy.  
  
Mario: Fine then.  
  
(Mario walks away from Waluigi and went into the house. In the kitchen, Peach was still cooking pancakes.)  
  
Peach: Hey Mario. You know what? I spend most of my time cooking. What is up with that? This is a vacation.  
  
Mario: So stop cooking. No one's at the table. (to himself) What a crazy bimbo.  
  
(Upstairs, Luigi and Bowser continued their conversation.)  
  
Bowser: So it was actually Mega Man that destroyed the evil warthogs and Simba went to Argentina?  
  
Luigi: What are you talking about?  
  
Bowser: I'm joking. So Peach made you do all that stuff because Banjo had a broken leg, but it turned out that he was faking it?  
  
Luigi: Yeah. Dumb, huh?  
  
Bowser: Uh huh. That's low. Let's play Pokemon Stadium.  
  
(Back with Mario, he was in the living room looking out the sliding door. Wario was in the pool again. Yoshi and Toad were watching TV.)  
  
Mario: Hey guys. Have you seen Weegie around?  
  
Yoshi: He's probably upstairs like he said he'll be.  
  
Toad: Yeah. Don't you even pay attention to what your brother says? Appearently, you don't.  
  
(Mario didn't hear that. He already went upstairs and into the boys' room. Luigi and Bowser were playing the N64.)  
  
Luigi: Yes! My level 57 Raichu knocked out your level 43 Rattata with Thuinderbolt!  
  
Bowser: Ouchies!  
  
Mario: There you are, Weegie. Wanna-  
  
Luigi: Shove it, Mario! We're in the middle of a great battle! Ha! Bowser, did you honestly think your level 46 Exeggcute can take out my level 61 Pidgeot with Egg Bomb?  
  
Mario: I was wondering if you wanted to have a water gun fight with me. I'm soooo bored.  
  
Luigi: Sure. Bowser's Pokemon are too easy to beat.  
  
(Mario and Luigi walk away.)  
  
Bowser: Hey! These are Wario's Pokemon, not mine!  
  
(Later Mario and Luigi were at the pool. Mario still had his Super Soaker Huge Number and Luigi had his Super Soaker Big Number, which was just a bit smaller than Mario's. D.K., who also had a good-sized gun, was there too. Wario was still sitting on his inner tube in the pool. He's probably asleep.)  
  
Mario: Okay guys. Spread out so I don't find your butts very easily and... Where'd you get that piece of crap, D.K.?  
  
D.K.: Shut up. I found it in the garage.  
  
Luigi: Loser.  
  
(Luigi and D.K. walk away. Not long after the game started, Luigi screamed. Mario and D.K. heard him and went to the field in the backyard where Luigi was dancing about.)  
  
Luigi: G-gho-ghosts! Aieeee! Get'em away from me!  
  
D.K.: I don't see any ghosts.  
  
Mario: Hoo boy...  
  
Luigi: No! No! Go away! Don't make me use this...this thing on you!  
  
(Luigi started to shoot water all over the place. He didn't seem to be shooting anything in particular. He was just going nuts. He made such a noise that everyone from Peach to Waluigi heard it and came to see the crazed maniac.)  
  
Waluigi: What the?  
  
Luigi: Shoooooot! Go away! Crap! The stupid vacuum overheated again! My pants are on fire!  
  
(Luigi was running around in circles now.)  
  
Luigi: You dumb professor! I could use some help here! Dr. Gadd! For the love of God! Heeeeeelp!  
  
Bowser: Ooookay. This scene is messed up.  
  
Toad: Who the hell is Dr. Gadd?  
  
D.K.: I don't get it. I don't see any ghosts, vacuums, fire or professors.  
  
Mario: Of course you don't, Doofus Kong. I's obviously a figment of his imagination. Seriously, he's been doing this a lot lately.  
  
D.K.: Which means...  
  
Mario: Nobody let him go online for another week. 


	11. Deja Vu?

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 11: Deja Vu?  
  
Toad: Okay Yoshi. I'll do this again.  
  
(Yoshi and Toad were in the boys' room. Yoshi was holding the blue Power Drinker. Toad was holding the green one.)  
  
Yoshi: All right then. What does Liquor drive?  
  
Toad: I do believe it's Triceratops.  
  
(Yoshi dug in the toy box and pulled out a blue Triceratops.)  
  
Yoshi: Correct. Now what about the green one?  
  
Toad: Speaking of green, did you see Luigi freak out?  
  
Yoshi: Hey yeah. What was up with that?  
  
Toad: I'm still trying to figure out who the hell Dr Gadd is.  
  
Yoshi: I know. What did he mean when he said and I quote "the stupid vacuum overheated again"? I mean, that wasn't a vacuum. That was a water gun.  
  
Toad: You don't suppose he's still suffering from that slavery thing, do you?  
  
Yoshi: Beats me. That happened years ago. I's over and done with.  
  
(Bowser walks in.)  
  
Bowser: Hey guys. What's up?  
  
Yoshi: Um...nothing.  
  
Bowser: Nothing, huh? Then why are you playing with Power Rangers again?  
  
Yoshi: Can you think of anything better to do?  
  
Bowser: Yeah. It's called the Nintendo 64!  
  
Toad: You sound like Luigi.  
  
Bowser: Did you see that dude freak out? That was messed up.  
  
(In the kitchen, Mario, Wario, Waluigi, D.K. and Peach were also talking about Luigi. Where is he anyway?)  
  
Peach: Mario, your brother's crazy.  
  
Mario: What can I do about it?  
  
D.K.: Tie that bastard up.  
  
Mario: Don't call Weegie a bastard!  
  
D.K.: Face it. He's a bastard.  
  
Mario: If you call him a bastard again, I'll kick your butt!  
  
Wario: Yo! Hold it! This looks familiar.  
  
(Wario pulled out the Luigi's Adventure at the Sea book and opened it.)  
  
Wario: Yeah. See? Look on pages 94 and 95.  
  
Mario: Hmm... Cranky says "I didn't see that whipper snapper". Then I say "Don't call Luigi a whipper snapper". Cranky says "Face it. He's a whipper snapper". Yadda yadda yadda... He's right! D.K., you idiot!  
  
Peach: Okay Mario. Calm down. Fighting doesn't get you anywhere. By the way, Waluigi, what are we playing in the club house tonight?  
  
Waluigi: I couldn't think of anything yet. Not with Luigi being a dork anyway.  
  
Mario: Don't call Weegie a dork!  
  
Waluigi: Face it. He's a dork!  
  
Mario: Darn it. If you call Weegie a dork one more time, I'm gonna kick your butt!  
  
Wario: Here we go again...  
  
Peach: Wario, where did you get that book from?  
  
Wario: You know...I can't remember at the moment.  
  
Peach: Lemme see that book.  
  
(Peach took the book from Wario. It had a sand-colored cover with a cheaply drawn picture of Luigi, a pink yoshi and a yoshi's egg with sea-green spots on it. Near the top it said Luigi's Adventure at the Sea in green letters and below that it said By N64 Chick in blue letters.)  
  
Peach: N64 Chick? Who the hell is that? Oops... I did it again.  
  
Wario: I didn't know you like Briteny Spears.  
  
Peach: I don't. Now tell me, where did that come from?  
  
Wario: A little something called...Internet!  
  
D.K.: Oh yeah! That story! I've read that before!  
  
Peach: That still doesn't explain it.  
  
Wario: I didn't have a printer so I wrote it in a journal thingy that I swiped from Mildew Middle School.  
  
Peach: Hmmmm...okay. I believe you.  
  
Mario: All right. I'm done kicking the crap out of Waluigi.  
  
Wario: You're what?!  
  
Mario: I kicked the crap out of Waluigi because he called Weegie a dork after I told him not to.  
  
Wario: How do I know this is true?  
  
Mario: Look at the ground, you retard.  
  
(Wario looked at the ground and saw a passed out Waluigi by Mario's feet.)  
  
Wario: Dang.  
  
Peach: Well, Mario. You better go find Luigi before he freaks out again or something rather.  
  
Mario: Okay. If you insis-  
  
Yoshi: Hey Mario! Come down here! We found Luigi!  
  
(Upon hearing this, Mario went down into the basement and saw Bowser, Yoshi and Toad in one corner.)  
  
Mario: Well, where is he?  
  
Toad: Take a look at this...  
  
(Bowser, Yoshi and Toad moved out of the corner and there he was. Luigi was curled up into a little ball and shaking like crazy. The ankle-deep water he lay in didn't seem to bother him.)  
  
Mario: Yo, bro!  
  
Toad: Way to go, Mario! This is no time to rhyme!  
  
Mario: Anyway, what's up, Weegie?  
  
Luigi: Shorts...yellow shorts everywhere...and ghosts...everywhere...  
  
Yoshi: Yellow shorts?  
  
Toad: You mean Banjo's?  
  
Bowser: And he was complaining about ghosts earliar.  
  
Mario: Shhh! He's saying something else.  
  
Luigi: ...and melees too...  
  
Bowser: What's a melee?  
  
Toad: Melee. Noun. A confused confilt between opposing parties.  
  
Mario: Pretty accerate, Toad.  
  
Luigi: ...and cube-shaped game consoles?! Aieeee!  
  
Yoshi: You're freaking me out, dude!  
  
Bowser: Snap out of it, buddy!  
  
(Bowser smacked Luigi in the head.)  
  
Mario: Bowser!  
  
(Luigi lay there for a mintue, then he slowly came to.)  
  
Luigi: Thanks, Bowser. I needed that.  
  
Mario, Bowser, Yoshi & Toad: Um...  
  
Toad: What the hell? Bowser hits you and you're actually happy? What gives?  
  
Luigi: What gives is I was obviously freaking out and Bowser cured me...for now.  
  
Toad: If you say so...  
  
Bowser: Dude, what were you talking about? I mean that melee thing.  
  
Luigi: This might sound crazy, but I think there's gonna be another Super Smash Bros. game.  
  
Mario, Bowser, Yoshi & Toad: Oh?  
  
Luigi: And, Bowser, this is a good chance to beat up Mario because you're in the game!  
  
Bowser: Whoa! Cool!  
  
Luigi: In fact, you could beat up Peach cause she's in it too!  
  
Bowser: Double cool!  
  
Mario: Ummm... Are you sure about this, Weegie? How would you know?  
  
Luigi: I dunno. I just have this feeling about it. Maybe I'll tell you guys about it sometime. I'll go upstairs and play. See ya.  
  
(Luigi ran upstairs. Mario and the others just stand there, dumbfounded.)  
  
Mario: I better keep my eye on him...  
  
(When Luigi got upstairs, Peach, Wario, Waluigi and D.K. were playing Mario Party 2.)  
  
Luigi: Why is Waluigi playing that?  
  
Waluigi: Don't worry. I'm playing as you, Luigi...altough I think I'd make a better wizard than you.  
  
(Luigi snickered. It was hard to imagine Waluigi dressed up as a wizard.)  
  
D.K.: Peach! Put that book down and take your turn!  
  
Peach: Oops. Sorry! This story certainly has an interesting plot. Someone pass me my controller.  
  
Wario: Here ya go.  
  
Peach: Thanks Wario. Yes! I got a ten! Aargh! Damn Bowser space! What the hell do you want, mother fucker? 15 coins?! Fine! Take the coins you cock sucking asshole! Just get out of here, bastard!  
  
(Everyone stares at Peach.)  
  
Peach: Eh...uh...oops. My bad.  
  
Luigi: Is there anyone that didn't swear yet?  
  
(D.K. raises his hand. Wario smacked him.)  
  
Wario: Yeah right, D.K.! You called Luigi a bastard twice!  
  
(Mario, Bowser, Yoshi and Toad walked in.)  
  
Luigi: He WHAT?!  
  
Wario: He called you a bastard!  
  
(Luigi glares at D.K.)  
  
D.K.: Uhhh...uh oh!  
  
(Luigi dives at D.K. and starts pummeling him.)  
  
D.K.: AAAHHH!!! Get it off!  
  
(Everyone's jaws dropped in awe...except Bowser's. Bowser watches with heart-shaped eyes.)  
  
Bowser: Sweeeeeet... 


	12. Waluigi's Idea

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 12: Waluigi's Idea  
  
Wario: Hey Waluigi. Did you think of anything for the club house yet?  
  
Waluigi: Naw. Not yet.  
  
(Wario and Waluigi were sitting outside. It was another sunny April day. Luigi, no longer freaking out, was jumping on the trampoline. Bowser was also nearby.)  
  
Bowser: Lookin' good, Luigi buddy.  
  
Waluigi: Why is Luigi on the trampoline again?  
  
Wario: I dunno.  
  
Waluigi: I don't know either, but I'm getting kinda sick of it.  
  
(Waluigi marches up to the trampoline.)  
  
Bowser: Hey Luigi. How can you jump so high?  
  
Luigi: Well, I'm not a tub of lard like Mario.  
  
Bowser: Uh oh! Here comes Waluigi.  
  
Waluigi: Luigi...quit...that...bouncing...NOW!  
  
(The next time Luigi landed, Waluigi grabbed his ankle.)  
  
Luigi: Hey! Lemme go!  
  
(Luigi tried to pull free from Waluigi's grasp, but when he did, there was a loud ripping sound. Luigi looked down and saw that Waluigi had ripped the left leg of his overalls off.)  
  
Luigi: God dammit, Waluigi! Why did you do that?!  
  
Waluigi: Why didn't you stop jumping then?  
  
Luigi: Aw crap. Now I have to fix my overalls.  
  
(Luigi ran into the house.)  
  
Bowser: Um... He forgot his-  
  
(Luigi came back out.)  
  
Luigi: By the way, I'll be taking this!  
  
(Luigi snatched the blue piece of clothing from Waluigi and went into the house again.)  
  
Bowser: That was weird...  
  
Waluigi: I'll say...but I think I have an idea.  
  
(Waluigi ran to the clubhouse and started to write on the dry erase board.)  
  
Wario: Thought of something?  
  
Waluigi: Yeah. Check this out.  
  
(Waluigi showed Wario the board. Now it said: CLUB HOUSE. TONIGHT'S GAME: STRIP BLACKJACK.)  
  
Wario: You're crazy! No one will want to play that!  
  
Waluigi: We'll see, Wario. We'll see.  
  
(Waluigi walks away. Wario just stares at the board.)  
  
Wario: The guy's cracked...  
  
(In the boys' room Mario was giving Luigi a few "pointers" on how to fix his overalls.)  
  
Luigi: Yow! Quit poking my leg with that damn needle, you fucking buffoon!  
  
Mario: Don't call me a buffoon!  
  
Luigi: Sorry! This isn't exactly my day.  
  
(Bowser, Yoshi, Toad and D.K. were playing Mario Tennis.)  
  
Bowser: I wish Luigi was playing with me instead of this sad excuse for an ape.  
  
D.K.: Watch it! I get offended easily!  
  
Toad: Shut up and play!  
  
(Peach was in Phil's room reading Luigi's Adventure at the Sea.)  
  
Peach: Hee hee hee. That purple yoshi has a crush on Luigi. It's love at first sight for her. Hee hee hee.  
  
(Suddenly, Wario and Waluigi ran into the room.)  
  
Wario: Of all the crazy ideas, Waluigi!  
  
Waluigi: It's not crazy! She'll love it!  
  
Wario: It's a perverted idea, you perv!  
  
Peach: What idea is that?  
  
Wario: Waluigi's idea of a game to play in the club house.  
  
Peach: So you thought of something, huh Waluigi? I'll take a look.  
  
(Wario and Waluigi follow Peach to the clubhouse. She looks at the board and chuckled.)  
  
Waluigi: Well?  
  
Peach: Well, get Mario to play and I'll be the life of the party.  
  
(Wario gives Peach a dirty look.)  
  
Wario: No! I want to be the life of the party!  
  
Peach: Me!  
  
Wario: No! Me!  
  
Waluigi: I'll see if anyone wants to play.  
  
(Waluigi went into the house and into the boys' room. Bowser, D.K. and Toad were arguing and Yoshi was trying to break it up.)  
  
Bowser: I say that was in!  
  
Toad: Yeah right! It was definatly out!  
  
D.K.: I agree with Bowser. It was in!  
  
Yoshi: C'mon break it up!  
  
Waluigi: Uh...excuse me, but does anyone want to play Strip Blackjack?  
  
D.K.: Does it really look like we can? The only thing I wear is this necktie.  
  
Bowser: And Toad only has that cheap vest.  
  
Toad: Mind your own fucking business, Bowser! You too, Waluigi!  
  
Waluigi: Um...sorry. Where's Mario and Luigi?  
  
Yoshi: Oh, they went down to the kitchen to fix dinner.  
  
Waluigi: Thanks.  
  
(Waluigi walks away.)  
  
Bowser: Now where were we? Oh yes. It was in!  
  
Toad: It was out!  
  
D.K.: In!  
  
Toad: Out!  
  
Yoshi: Hoo boy... 


	13. Pizza Problems

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 13: Pizza Problems  
  
  
  
Waluigi: Hey dudes. Need help with dinner?  
  
(Mario and Luigi were in the kitchen looking around when Waluigi joined them.)  
  
Mario: In fact, we could.  
  
Luigi: Yeah. What did we have for dinner yesterday?  
  
Waluigi: We didn't have dinner last dinner on account of we were hypnotized.  
  
Mario: What about the day before?  
  
Waluigi: Um...lemme think...  
  
(Waluigi scratches his HUGE chin.)  
  
Waluigi: We were so busy fixing the house, Tuesday, that we didn't have dinner.  
  
Luigi: That's true.  
  
Waluigi: And both times we had breakfast, it was pancakes. Uh...altough I must say, the pancakes you guys made were better than Peach's.  
  
Mario: Thanks.  
  
Luigi: We try.  
  
Waluigi: I don't think Peach is a very good cook. I mean, her Tuna Mac was all right, but I think she stuck some eyeshadow in the pancakes.  
  
(Mario and Luigi stand there for a silent mintue, then their faces turn as green as Luigi's clothes.)  
  
Mario: Oh...sick!  
  
Luigi: Waluigi, did you have to say that?!  
  
Waluigi: Um...probably not. But anyways, I'd rather have you guys cook rather than Peach...er...but you do look sick though.  
  
(Their faces return to normal.)  
  
Mario: That...that was special effects.  
  
Luigi: Uh...yeah. So want do you want for dinner?  
  
Waluigi: Ah, I dunno.  
  
Luigi: Well, I don't feel like cooking.  
  
Mario: Me either. I think I'll order a pizza.  
  
Waluigi: Sounds good to me.  
  
Mario: All right then. Could I use your cell phone, Weegie.  
  
Luigi: Sure thing.  
  
(Luigi whips out his cell phone and gave it to Mario.)  
  
Mario: I'll just get the usual.  
  
(Mario dialed a number on the cell phone.)  
  
Waluigi: And what's the usual?  
  
Luigi: A large pepperoni pizza.  
  
Waluigi: Oh.  
  
Mario: Hey! It's ringing!  
  
(Someone on the other end picked up.)  
  
Pizza Dude: Hello! This is Pizza Dude's Pizza! How can I help you?  
  
Mario: Well, I'd like to order two large pepperoni pizzas and-  
  
Pizza Dude: Two pepperoni pizzas. Got it! And where are you?  
  
Mario: Phillip Island.  
  
Pizza Dude: Ummmm...Phillip Island?  
  
Mario: Yes.  
  
Pizza Dude: Uh..sir, we don't deliver to islands.  
  
Waluigi: Regular pepperoni pizzas? Why doesn't Mario put and little zing into it?  
  
Luigi: Actually, there is something that Mario likes to put on his slice.  
  
Mario: Listen, shrimp! Do you know who I am? I am Mario Mario! And if you don't deliver the fucking pizza over here, I'll-  
  
Pizza Dude: Whoa! I'm terribly sorry! I didn't know you were Mario! Did you want the bag of peppermints with that?  
  
Mario: Yes please. And breadsticks.  
  
Waluigi: Hey Luigi. What's the peppermints for?  
  
(Waluigi starts to drink a glass of Hi-C.)  
  
Luigi: You know how I told you that there's something Mario likes to put on his pizza?  
  
(Waluigi, still drinking, responds with a nod.)  
  
Luigi: Well, that's it.  
  
(Waluigi tries to laugh, but chokes on his beverage instead.)  
  
Waluigi: Cough...cough...jeez, did you have to...cough...cough...do that...  
  
(Waluigi coughs several more times before passing out. Mario hangs up the phone and noticed Waluigi.)  
  
Mario: What happened here?  
  
Luigi: Waluigi learned a valuable lesson: don't laugh and drink at the same time.  
  
Mario: I see...  
  
(Bowser and D.K. walked in.)  
  
D.K.: I can't believe those two.  
  
Luigi: What two?  
  
Bowser: Toad and Yoshi. They're playing with Power Rangers again. By the way, what's for dinner? And why is Waluigi sleeping on the floor?  
  
Mario: I order pizza.  
  
Bowser: Ahhh...pizza. The food of kings...King of the Koopas anyway.  
  
Mario: Ha! Good one, Bowser.  
  
D.K.: Oh look. Waluigi's waking up. You okay, dude?  
  
Waluigi: Yeah...just fine...  
  
Mario: It could be awhile before the pizza gets here. So any ideas on what to do in the meantime?  
  
Waluigi: Well, we're playing Strip Blackjack in the club house.  
  
Luigi: ..........You're crazy.  
  
Mario: Really crazy.  
  
Waluigi: Tell that to Peach. She wants to play.  
  
Mario, Luigi & Bowser: Really?  
  
Waluigi: Yeah. Wario too.  
  
Mario: Okay. I'll play.  
  
Luigi: Me too.  
  
Bowser: Well guys, I'm gonna stay outta this one.  
  
(Bowser starts to walk away.)  
  
Bowser: Of course, I might change my mind...  
  
(Later Mario, Luigi and Bowser were sitting on the dock, waiting for the pizza boy.)  
  
Mario: Augh! We've been sitting here for half an hour. What's keeping that boy?  
  
Bowser: I'm sooooooo hungry.  
  
Luigi: Me too. It's starting to get dark.  
  
Bowser: Major bummer , man.  
  
(Waluigi runs up to the dock, out of breath.)  
  
Waluigi: Huff...huff...hey guys..huff...huff...  
  
Mario: Hey Waluigi. What's up?  
  
Waluigi: Huf...huff...did the pizza come yet...huff...huff...  
  
Luigi: No. Take a breather, dude.  
  
Waluigi: Huff...huff...okay..huff...but there's something I gotta tell you...huff...huff...  
  
Mario: Oh yeah? What?  
  
Waluigi: Well...huff...Peach and Wario are arguing over who'll...huff...be the life of the party...  
  
Mario: So?  
  
Waluigi: Huff...I'm afraid you're the reason...huff...Mario. Now I'll be going back...  
  
(Waluigi walks away. A lightbulb appears above Bowser's head.)  
  
Bowser: Hey Luigi.  
  
Luigi: What?  
  
(Bowser whispers something to Luigi.)  
  
Luigi: Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!! That's DISGUSTING!!!  
  
Mario: Quiet! I see something.  
  
(There was a boat in the distance, then it gets closer and pulls up to the dock.)  
  
Mario: You took your sweet time...  
  
Pizza Boy: Sorry, dudes, but we usually don't do island deliveries. All right then. May I see your discount card?  
  
(Mario was about to pull out his card when Luigi peeked in the boat.)  
  
Luigi: Hey! The pizza's wet!  
  
Mario: What?!  
  
(Mario looks in the boat. The two pizza boxes were, indeed, wet. The boat had a foot of water in it.)  
  
Mario: Now hear this, Pizza Dork! You expect me to eat that fucking soggy pizza?! What the hell were you thinking, asshole?! Just got out of here and bring back a fresh pizza, you bastard!  
  
Pizza Boy: Uh...right away, sir!  
  
(Pizza Boy picked up the pizza boxes and dropped them on the dock. They landed with a spongey thud. Then Pizza Boy drives away.)  
  
Mario: And they better be dry, dammit!  
  
(Half an hour later, Wario and Peach joined Mario, Luigi and Bowser on the dock. Peach was trying to read and argue at the same time.)  
  
Peach: I'll be the life of the party!  
  
Wario: No! Me!  
  
Peach: It'll be me!  
  
Wario: Uh...how's Luigi's Adventure at the Sea?  
  
Peach: Oh? Well, it's funny that you turned into a good guy.  
  
Luigi: Yeah. I know. The entire story is crazy.  
  
Mario: Here comes Pizza Boy again...  
  
(Pizza Boy drove up to the dock.)  
  
Mario: Is it dry this time?  
  
Pizza Boy: Uh...I dunno.  
  
(Luigi peeked in the boat.)  
  
Luigi: It's still wet!  
  
(Luigi took the pizza and showed them to Mario.)  
  
Mario: Oh, God dammit! Now listen! Why the hell do you get here a fucking half hour late and get the damn pizza wet?!  
  
Peach: He's worse than I am...  
  
Mario: I'll give you one more chance, bastard! Now get out of my sight!  
  
(Pizza Boy drives away. Luigi is still holding the second batch of pizzas.)  
  
Mario: Put the damn pizza down, Weegie!  
  
Luigi: Hey! Don't yell at me, Mars!  
  
Mario: Then put them down, Stringbean!  
  
Luigi: Fine, Fatty!  
  
(Luigi dropped the pizzas on Mario's foot on perpose.)  
  
Mario: Not on my foot, you idiot!  
  
Luigi: Back off, Bitch!  
  
(Luigi gives Mario the finger.)  
  
Peach, Bowser & Wario: Daaaaaaang...  
  
(Not too long later, Pizza Boy came back.)  
  
Pizza Boy: Um...sir? Your pizza's here.  
  
(Pizza Boy gave Mario two more soggy pizzas.)  
  
Mario: What...the...hell?  
  
(Mario's face turns bright red.)  
  
Mario: Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!  
  
(Mario punches Pizza Boy and what happened next...I really can't tell you, altough I know it involves Peach smacking Pizza Boy with her frying pan and a lot of swearing afterwords. Reading stuff like this can't be healthy for you so stop reading.....I said stop reading.....Are you still reading this? Stop it now. Okay. I'm going to end the chapter now...) 


	14. The Vacation Gets Freaky!

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 14: The Vacation Gets Freaky!  
  
Luigi: That was crazy...  
  
(Mario, Luigi, Peach, Wario and Bowser were walking back to the house. Luigi was carrying six wet, heavy boxes of pizza.)  
  
Wario: I'll say it was.  
  
Bowser: It was so funny when Luigi flipped off Mario. And when Peach used the frying pan. Way to hit him Peach.  
  
Peach: Yeah? Well, never underestimate the power of a frying pan over the head.  
  
Mario: Who'll be the next to swear up a storm?  
  
Bowser: I don't know, but you're gonna be a hard one to top.  
  
Mario: Next time I want pizza, I'll get a frozen one from the store.  
  
(When they got to the top of the hill, the could see Yoshi, Toad, Waluigi and D.K. standing there with a hungry look in their eyes.)  
  
Waluigi: Did it come yet?  
  
Luigi: See for yourself...  
  
(Luigi dropped the pizzas in front of Waluigi.)  
  
Toad: Weak! The fucking pizza's wet!  
  
Peach: Toad, do you have to swear so much?  
  
D.K.: Speak for yourself, Peach. When you were playing Mario Party 2, you called Bowser a mother fucker and-  
  
(Peach slapped her hand over D.K.'s mouth.)  
  
Peach: Ee hee hee hee hee... You didn't hear that, did you, Bowser?  
  
Bowser: I dunno. I better trying cooking these pizzas.  
  
Toad: You? Ha! Knowing you, you'd overcook them!  
  
Bowser: Sob! Why are you so mean?  
  
(Bowser runs away, sobbing.)  
  
Toad: Baby...  
  
Waluigi: Well, I guess we have to play Strip Blackjack without pizza. That sucks. Anyway, follow me.  
  
(Peach, Mario, Luigi and Wario follow Waluigi to the club house. Mario, Luigi and Waluigi go inside. Wario and Peach stand outside glaring at each other for a minute, then they giggle like little school girls and also go in. Inside, Waluigi put the table and a chair in the middle of the club house and took a deck of cards out of his pocket.)  
  
Waluigi: Okay, people. You know how this works. I'm your dealer for tonight-  
  
Luigi: Great! I'd like one beef jerky to go please.  
  
Waluigi: Not that kind of dealer, you idiot! Anyway...  
  
(Waluigi starts to shuffle the cards.)  
  
Waluigi: Face cards are worth ten and aces are one or eleven.  
  
(Waluigi sits down and put the deck on the table facedown.)  
  
Waluigi: You go first, bro.  
  
Wario: Sweeeeet...  
  
(Waluigi drew himself a nine, then a ten.)  
  
Waluigi: That's ninteen. Try to beat it.  
  
(Waluigi drew Wario a seven.)  
  
Wario: Hit me.  
  
(Waluigi punched Wario in the arm.)  
  
Wario: That...wasn't funny.  
  
(Waluigi drew Wario a three.)  
  
Wario: Hit me again.  
  
(Waluigi punched Wario again.)  
  
Wario: Quit it!  
  
(Waluigi drew Wario an eight.)  
  
Wario: Hit me!  
  
Waluigi: Bro, you have eighteen.  
  
Wario: Do it!  
  
(Waluigi drew Wario a jack.)  
  
Waluigi: Loooooser! Off with your shirt!  
  
Wario: Okie dokie!  
  
(Rrrrrip!)  
  
Mario: Hey! He's like Hulk Hogan! He ripped his shirt off with out undoing his overalls!  
  
Luigi: But he has another shirt on!  
  
Wario: Heh heh heh...  
  
Waluigi: Your turn, Luigi.  
  
(Waluigi drew himself a four, then a five, then a nine.)  
  
Waluigi: That's eighteen, bub.  
  
(Waluigi drew Luigi a queen.)  
  
Luigi: Hit me.  
  
(Waluigi went to punch Luigi, but he grabbed Waluigi's fist before it hit.)  
  
Luigi: Nice try.  
  
Waluigi: Dang...  
  
(Waluigi drew Luigi a ten.)  
  
Luigi: Ha! Twenty!  
  
Waluigi: Aw! I lost!  
  
(Waluigi undoes his overalls and takes his shirt off. Everyone stares in amazement.)  
  
Mario, Luigi & Peach: WALUIGI SHAVES HIS CHEST?!?!  
  
Wario: That doesn't surprise me.  
  
Waluigi: Shuddup. Step right up, Peach.  
  
(Waluigi drew himself a king, then a six.)  
  
Waluigi: I'm not feeling so lucky...  
  
(Waluigi drew Peach a jack.)  
  
Peach: Hit me.  
  
(Waluigi goes to hit Peach. She tried to deflect like Luigi did, but fails. Smack!)  
  
Peach: It's not nice to hit ladies, you know.  
  
(Waluigi drew Peach a seven.)  
  
Peach: Hit me again.  
  
Waluigi: But Peach. You have seventeen and I have only-  
  
Peach: Hit me! I mean it!  
  
Waluigi: Yes ma'am.  
  
(Waluigi drew Peach a queen.)  
  
Waluigi: Loser!  
  
Peach: Heeeeeere we go!  
  
(Rrrrrrrrrip!)  
  
Mario, Luigi, Wario & Waluigi: WHOA!  
  
(Bowser was outside walking past the club house when Peach ripped her dress off.)  
  
Bowser: (to himself) That sounded like Peach ripping her dress off. Dang! I missed it! I wonder what's going on in there? Should I peek in or...um...NO! I have to wait for the right time. Er...maybe just a quick-  
  
Mario: Kiss your pants goodbye, Waluigi!  
  
Bowser: Huh?  
  
(There was some screaming followed by laughter.)  
  
Luigi: Hey Waluigi! Nice briefs!  
  
Bowser: (to himself) Aw man! That sounded great too! I think I'll take one quick peek...  
  
(Back inside, it was Wario's turn again. Waluigi drew himself a four, then a five, then a nine.)  
  
Waluigi: That's eighteen. Is it me or is it cold?  
  
Peach: I don't know. I must be you.  
  
(Waluigi drew Wario an ace.)  
  
Wario: Hit me!  
  
(Bam! Waluigi hit Wario again, then drew him another ace.)  
  
Wario: Well, I'm over...  
  
Waluigi: Hey! Wait!  
  
(Rrrrrip! There goes Wario's other shirt.)  
  
Luigi: Oh gross! Look at HIS chest!  
  
Mario: Uh...I think I see some lice in that hair, Wario.  
  
(At this time, Bowser carefully poked his head inside the club house and looked at Luigi. He winked and pointed to Wario. Bowser looked at Wario...and almost upchucked. Luigi saw this and chuckled.)  
  
Mario: What's so funny, Weegie?  
  
Luigi: Um...uh...just get a load of Peach.  
  
Peach: Hit me two more times!  
  
Waluigi: But...but...but...  
  
Peach: Fine. I'll do it myself!  
  
(Peach drew herself a seven and a two which, combined with her two fives and a king, equals 29.)  
  
Peach: Well, it's my loss...  
  
(Snap! Peach took her bra off!)  
  
Mario, Luigi, Wario & Waluigi: Ooo-la-la!  
  
(Wario starts to whistle. Waluigi gives Peach the "Hey baby. Ya wanna go out tonight" look. Luigi howls like a wolf. And Mario bashes himself in the head with a mallet. Bowser watches all this.)  
  
Bowser: (to himself) Crazy sons of bitches...  
  
(After a few minutes everyone calmed down.)  
  
Wario: That...was...grrreat. Lemme try one. Waluigi, hit me six times.  
  
Waluigi: SIX?!  
  
(Waluigi drew Wario a jack, a nine, a two, another jack, a ten and an eight.)  
  
Waluigi: Dude, that 49!  
  
Wario: I don't care!  
  
(Wario goes to undo his overalls. Waluigi covers his face.)  
  
Waluigi: Oh dear God...  
  
(Rrrrrrrrip!)  
  
Mario, Luigi, & Peach: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(In the boys' room, Yoshi, Toad and D.K. were playing Mario Kart 64 when they heard everyone screaming.)  
  
Yoshi: Pause!  
  
D.K.: What do you think that was?  
  
Toad: I'd say Wario just lost and it turned out that he was the dirty bastard I thought he was.  
  
Yoshi: Sounds good to me. Unpause!  
  
(Back in the club house...)  
  
Peach: Hit me seven times!  
  
Waluigi: But...um...that's 64!  
  
Wario: Hit me eight times!  
  
Waluigi: That's at least 45!  
  
Peach: Hit me nine times!  
  
Waluigi: What the hell are you two-  
  
(Suddenly, the door was kicked open and Bowser stormed in.)  
  
Bowser: All right, Waluigi. I changed my mind. I want to pl- What the heck? Whoa! That's gross! I think I'm blind!...er...I didn't mean that. What I meant was...uh...who has the most clothes on?  
  
Waluigi: Um...uh...Luigi is! That's right! He's the one you want!  
  
(Waluigi pushed Luigi toward Bowser. Luigi and Bowser wink, but no one noticed it.)  
  
Bowser: All right, Luigi. One round of Strip Blackjack. If you lose, you take ALL of your clothes off. If I lose...um...you'll see. You deal.  
  
Luigi: Okie dokie.  
  
(Luigi sat down in Waluigi's chair and drew himself a queen and an eight.)  
  
Bowser: Ah...eighteen.  
  
(Luigi drew Bowser a ten.)  
  
Peach: Do you think Luigi will win this?  
  
Waluigi: Beat's me...  
  
Bowser: Hit me.  
  
(Luigi drew Bowser a six.)  
  
Bowser: Hit me.  
  
(Luigi drew Bowser a seven.)  
  
Bowser: I'm over. I'm over! I'M OVER!  
  
(Bowser laughs like a maniac as he rips his shell off his back. Everyone's eyes bug out.)  
  
Mario, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi & Peach: HOLY TOLEDO!  
  
(Bowser runs out of the club house.)  
  
Yoshi, Toad & D.K.: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Bowser: Oops! Sorry!  
  
Waluigi: That...was...disturbing... 


	15. More Fun With Pizza

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 15: More Fun With Pizza  
  
For anyone that doesn't know what Luigi's Adventure at the Sea is, it's my first fanfic. Begin day 4...  
  
(Early next morning in the boys room, Luigi woke up and yawned.)  
  
Luigi: Oh man. That was one weird night. I'm glad it's over.  
  
(Luigi got out of bed and checked on everyone else. Wario, Waluigi, Yoshi, and Toad were sound asleep so Luigi went into Phil's room. Mario and Peach were still sleeping too. Luigi went down to the livingroom. D.K. was still asleep, but Bowser was rising up from the corner where he slept during the night. His shell was on his back, but it didn't look quite right.)  
  
Luigi: You awake, Bowser?  
  
Bowser: Yeah. I'm awake.  
  
Luigi: Wild night, huh?  
  
Bowser: You can say that again.  
  
Luigi: So what's with your...um...uh...  
  
(Luigi points to Bowser's back.)  
  
Bowser: Oh that? I just put a bunch of duck tape there to keep my shell on.  
  
Luigi: You put on a good show last night. You scared the living shit out of everyone.  
  
(Luigi and Bowser go into the kitchen.)  
  
Bowser: Dang I'm hungry.  
  
Luigi: Should I cook pancakes?  
  
Bowser: Naw. Let's cook those pizzas instead.  
  
Luigi: Pizzas? Um...right. Let's take them outside.  
  
(Bowser picked up the six boxes of pizza off the table and follows Luigi to the field.)  
  
Bowser: How do we cook pizzas out here?  
  
Luigi: Does target practice sound like fun?  
  
Bowser: Sure. Just tell me how.  
  
Luigi: Well, I'll toss a pizza into the air and you fry it, then I'll catch it.  
  
Bowser: Cool idea. Let 'em fly!  
  
(Luigi gets the first pizza ready.)  
  
Bowser: I'll just set my fire breath to golden brown mode.  
  
(Luigi tossed the pizza into the air. Bowser aims and...)  
  
Bowser: Burrrrrrrrrrp!  
  
(...belches out smoke?)  
  
Bowser: Whoops! How embarrassing.  
  
Luigi: Uh oh! I got it! I got it! I-  
  
(Splat! The pizza lands on Luigi's face.)  
  
Bowser: You okay?  
  
(Luigi removed the pizza from his face.)  
  
Luigi: Don't worry. I'm sure Mario likes pizza that was on my face.  
  
Bowser: Let's try that again.  
  
(Luigi tosses the pizza into the air again. This time, Bowser hits it with a fine beam of fire and Luigi caught it perfectly.)  
  
Luigi: Good shot, Bowser! Another blast ought to do it.  
  
(Luigi tosses the pizza into the air again. Bowser blasts it again and Luigi caught it. They repeat the process several times. During the target practice session, Mario and the others came outside.)  
  
Mario: What the?  
  
Luigi: The next pizza's mine.  
  
(Bowser takes a pizza and tosses it into the air. Luigi raises his arms toward the pizza and...)  
  
Luigi: Hyper Burn!  
  
(The pizza was burnt to a crisp and falls into Bowser's hands. He stares at it in amazement.)  
  
Wario: Hey!  
  
(Wario took a book from Peach and holds it up.)  
  
Wario: You stole that from Luigi's Adventure at the Sea! You can't do that!  
  
Luigi: Oh yes I can...  
  
(Luigi raises his arms toward Wario.)  
  
Wario: Oh shit!  
  
(He dropped the book and runs away. Peach picks it up.)  
  
Peach: Uh...Wario has a point there.  
  
D.K.: Shut up, Peach.  
  
Luigi: Breakfast is now being served. Hey Bowser. Quit staring at that pizza and help me serve everyone.  
  
Bowser: What a shot...um...I'll be there in a minute.  
  
Luigi: Here Mario. Have a slice of pizza.  
  
Mario: Sure. Huh? This has a hair on it.  
  
Luigi: Oh, don't worry about that. It's probably from Pizza Boy.  
  
(Luigi laughs to himself.)  
  
Toad: I want some pizza! Dammit!  
  
Luigi: Here. Take it.  
  
(Toad bites the slice of pizza.)  
  
Toad: Hmmm...a little chewy, but good.  
  
D.K.: (with his mouth full so chunks are flying everywhere) This is pretty good for being cooked with fire that come from someone else's mouth.  
  
Bowser: What?! Are you saying I have bad breath?!  
  
D.K.: (his mouth is still full so chunks are flying everywhere) Well...no. I was just saying...  
  
(Bowser chokes D.K., while the ape spits food at him.)  
  
Bowser: I'll fix you good!  
  
Peach: Ewww...check out the sick bastards. Oops. I mean, check out the sick weirdos.  
  
Yoshi: You're just lucky I don't have to chew.  
  
Mario: So much for breakfast...  
  
Waluigi: Hey guys. Check this out.  
  
(Waluigi ate a slice of pizza in 30 seconds.)  
  
Yoshi: That's nothing. Watch this.  
  
(Yoshi ate an entire pizza and Toad in 10 seconds.):  
  
Yoshi: Mmm...extra mushroom.  
  
Peach: Yoshi! You ate Toad!  
  
Yoshi: I did?  
  
Toad: Lemme outta here you damn dino or I'll beat up your fucking intestines!  
  
Yoshi: I feel sick...  
  
(Yoshi upchucked Toad, who was covered in spit.)  
  
Toad: I'm...not feeling so good either... 


	16. Hoildays and Squeaky Mushrooms

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 16: Holidays and Squeaky Mushrooms  
  
(Well, this morning everyone pretty much minded their own business. Toad was taking a bath. Yoshi was playing Power Drinkers by himself. Luigi was playing the N64.)  
  
Luigi: C'mon, Luigi. Burn that yellow rat! NO! Don't die!  
  
(Bowser came into the room.)  
  
Bowser: Hey Luigi. What's up?  
  
Luigi: I was...uh...trying to...um...er...  
  
(Luigi quickly turned the N64 off.)  
  
Bowser: What now?  
  
Yoshi: Luigi was playing Super Smash Bros. and he was getting beaten by Pikachu.  
  
(Bowser stepped on Yoshi's foot. Crunch!)  
  
Bowser: Shut up and let the man talk!  
  
Yoshi: My foot! I'll get you for this!  
  
(Yoshi bounced out of the room, holding his foot.)  
  
Luigi: Anyway, I was looking for a game to play.  
  
Bowser: Let's go downstairs and make fun of someone.  
  
Luigi: Sweeeeeet...  
  
(Luigi and Bowser walk out of the room.)  
  
Bowser: Hold on a sec. I gotta take a whiz.  
  
(Bowser opens the bathroom door and pokes his head in.)  
  
Toad: Aieeeee! Get out of here, perv!  
  
(Poink! Bowser pulls his head out of the door and closed it, then he rubs his eye.)  
  
Luigi: What did he do to you?  
  
Bowser: He threw a bar of soap at me...  
  
(Wario was sitting in his inner tube in the pool,. D.K. was climbing a tree. Peach was in the shade of a tree reading Luigi's Adventure at the Sea.)  
  
Peach: Ha ha ha! Love that Freeze Blaster! Take that, Waluigi!  
  
(Mario and Waluigi were at the club house, discussing something.)  
  
Waluigi: What do you mean we shouldn't play in the club house tonight? It's not my fault Bowser wrecked last night's game!  
  
Mario: It's a holiday. Take a break, will ya?  
  
Waluigi: What holiday is it then?  
  
Mario: Easter.  
  
Waluigi: You better tell everyone else that.  
  
Mario: All right then.  
  
(Mario whistled a long, shrill whistle. Peach heard it and snapped the book shut. Luigi and Bowser were playing the N64 when they heard it and dumped Banjo in a lava pit. Wario heard it and slipped off his inner tube. Yoshi heard it and smashed his finger in the sliding door. Toad heard it and accidently swallowed the rubber duckie.)  
  
Toad: Aw fuck! Gulp! Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!  
  
(And finally, D.K. heard it and fell off the tree. Anyway, everyone crowded around Mario.)  
  
Peach: You called?  
  
Yoshi: This better be good. I shut my finger in the door.  
  
Toad: Squeak squeak-squeak squeaky-squeak!  
  
Mario: You okay, Toad?  
  
Toad: Squeak-squeaky-squeeeak!  
  
everyone: What the?!  
  
(Bowser picked up Toad and squeezed him. Every time he squeezed, Toad let out a high pitched squeak.)  
  
Luigi: Looks like he swallowed a rubber duckie. Wouldn't you say so?  
  
Bowser: Yeah. But I think we can help.  
  
Mario: What are you going to do?  
  
(Bowser lays Toad down.)  
  
Bowser: Mario, hold the feet. Luigi, you get the arms. I'll stomp.  
  
Toad: SQUEAK?!  
  
(Mario and Luigi do as they were told. Peach decides to comfort Toad.)  
  
Peach: Don't worry, Toad. Bowser will have that duck out of you in no time...I hope.  
  
Luigi: All right. On the count of three.  
  
Mario: One...two...three!  
  
(Stomp!)  
  
Toad: Ptooie! You bastards! What are you trying to- Hey! I can talk! Um...thanks guys.  
  
Wario: ... How did he swallow a rubber duckie anyway?  
  
(Waluigi shrugs.)  
  
Waluigi: I don't know, but he managed.  
  
D.K.: So what did you whistle for, Mario? You know that always startles me.  
  
Mario: Oh yes. About that. Well...ahem...you guys know what tomarrow is, right?  
  
Yoshi: Easter!  
  
Mario: That's right.  
  
Yoshi: Oh boy! Is the Easter Bunny gonna come tonight? And we'll hunt for eggs in the morning? Huh? Huh?!  
  
Mario: But, of course.  
  
Peach: Are we gonna dye eggs? Um...wait. Will the Easter Bunny know we're here?  
  
Mario: Now don't worry about a thing, Peach. I left a letter for the Easter Bunny saying that we're over here. Okay?  
  
Peach: Sure. Okay.  
  
Mario: Oh, and also (under his breath) Waluigi's club house games will be closed tonight.  
  
D.K.: What?!  
  
Luigi: You can't be serious!  
  
Wario: Vacations are supposed to be fun!  
  
Mario: Well, vacations are supposed to be relaxing too. Just look at Waluigi. Can't you see those blue rings under his eyes?  
  
Bowser: He always has rings under his eyes, you retard!  
  
Waluigi: Yeah really, Mario. But I guess I could use a break. I'm fresh out of ideas anyway.  
  
Mario: Okay then. You guys can go back to whatever you were doing.  
  
(So Peach went back to reading under a tree. Luigi and Bowser went back to playing the N64. Wario went back to sitting in his inner tube in the pool. Yoshi and Toad went back to playing with Power Drinkers. D.K. went back to his tree climbing. Waluigi, having nothing else to do, watches TV in the living room. Mario just walks around the yard, thinking.)  
  
Mario: Dang. How do I make this work out?  
  
(Mario went into the house and into Phil's room. He locks the door.)  
  
Mario: The first thing I should do is make sure a have my rabbit costume.  
  
(Mario opens his backpack and digs through the stuff in it. He can't seem to find what he is looking for.)  
  
Mario: C'mon. Where is it? How'd this get in here? I don't remember packing that. And what is that supposed to be? Oh?!  
  
(Mario pulls out the Tanooki Suit.)  
  
Mario: Could I possibly use this instead? Could I be an E-  
  
(There was a knock on the door.)  
  
Peach: Oh Mario. It's lunchtime. Would you help me make some hot dogs? Why is the door stuck?  
  
Mario: Umm...coming Peach.  
  
(Mario stuffed the Tanooki Suit in one of the dressers and stuck the backpack in the corner where it was, then he unlocked the door. When he was helpping Peach with the hot dogs, everyone came to eat...except Wario.)  
  
Peach: Mario, would you mind getting Wario? He seems to have fallen asleep again.  
  
Mario: Sure thing.  
  
(Mario got his SSHN or Super Soaker Huge Number and loaded it, then he went to the pool and squirted Wario in the nostril like he did a few days ago.)  
  
Wario: ...snore...sn-gurgle...choke...cough... Hey bastard! I thought I told you not to do that! I'm gonna beat the shit out of you this time!  
  
(And the chase was on again...) 


	17. Peer Pressure

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 17: Peer Pressure  
  
(Everyone, including a soaked Wario, were eating hot dogs now. Peach was reading Luigi's Adventure at the Sea again.)  
  
Toad: Hey Yoshi. Why don't you ever swear?  
  
Yoshi: What do you mean?  
  
Toad: I mean you never cuss. Why?  
  
Yoshi: I did cuss once. When I was telling Bowser about what Peach and Banjo did to Luigi. Remember?  
  
Bowser: But you never swear now.  
  
Toad: What gives?  
  
Yoshi: Well, if I swear, I'll get beat up. Luigi beat the crap out of D.K. because he swore.  
  
Toad: Shit, Yoshi. The word you are looking for is shit. Luigi beat the shit out of D.K.  
  
Bowser: Yeah. I remember that...  
  
Toad: By the way, Peach. These hot dogs taste like shit.  
  
Peach: Don't look at me. Mario helped.  
  
Mario: And I told you not to put sugar and salt in the water.  
  
(Everyone stopped eating and their eyes bug out.)  
  
Waluigi: THAT...IS...DISGUSTING!!!  
  
(Waluigi puked on his plate.)  
  
everyone: Ewww...  
  
Toad: That is fucking sick, Waluigi!  
  
Wario: He always had a weak stomach. You guys should've seen the time he ate a bunch of watermelon and rode the merry-go-round when he was seven. He just couldn't take it!  
  
Waluigi: Hey!  
  
Mario: And when all of us were in the back of a U-Haul truck with a lot of Coca Cola and he barfed on Weegie's talking Mickey Mouse doll.  
  
Luigi: And that one New Year's Eve when Wario made blue Kool-aid and a bunch of cheesey snacks. Waluigi had too much and puked blue puke!  
  
everyone: Ewww...  
  
Wario: And the time when he rode the Tilt-a-Whirl and went to the animal barns and upchucked in a trash barrel, but it turned out that it was actually the rabbit food barrel and the people came and fed it to the rabbits.  
  
Yoshi: I feel sorry for the bunny-wunnies...  
  
Mario: And then there was the time he rode the Pharoh's Fury and barfed on my shoes!  
  
Luigi: And the time we went to Toy R Us on a hot summer day and Waluigi was so hot, he puked behind the playground equipment they were selling and then a bug flew by and landed in the puke and drowned in it. There was also the time he was taking a bath and he puked in the water. His mom got mad at him. Ha ha ha... Then there was another time he rode on the Tilt-a-Whirl and he barfed and broke the ride. Then there was the time he barfed during math exams in middle school. I've always wondered what predigusted Lucky Charms looked like. Why are you looking at me like that, Waluigi? Your face has got to be an inch away from mine. Anyway, remember the time we were on vacation and Peach made hot dogs with salt and sugar and you ate it and puked?  
  
Waluigi: You...bitch!  
  
(Waluigi grabbed Luigi by the neck.)  
  
Waluigi: What the hell is your problem, mother fucker?! Dammit! What are you trying to fucking do?! Give me a fucking heart attack?! You know I get pissed off easily! The next time I throw up, I'll make you eat it! In fact, you eat this puke, Shit-for-brains!  
  
(Waluigi tried to shove Luigi's face into the puke pile he made mintues ago.)  
  
Bowser: Uh oh! Time for me to act!  
  
(Bowser quickly got up and grabbed Luigi and pulled him away from Waluigi.)  
  
Luigi: Thanks, Bowser.  
  
Bowser: Waluigi, you bastard! Leave that poor guy alone! Don't you realize what kind of pain he went through?! Barfing a bunch of times is nothing compared to three years of slavery!  
  
Waluigi: You got something to say to me? Step right up!  
  
Bowser: I will with pleasure!  
  
(Luigi fled the scene as Bowser and Waluigi start to fight. Everyone else sit and stare.)  
  
Toad: Holy fucking shit!  
  
Yoshi: We better get out of here like Luigi did.  
  
(Everyone ran upstairs and joined Luigi in the boy's room.)  
  
Yoshi: See Toad. See what swearing does. It creates fights. It happened with Luigi and D.K. Now it's Bowser and Waluigi.  
  
Luigi: Swearing didn't do this. I did. I went overboard with the puking stuff. And now...Bowser's stuck with him.  
  
Mario: You make it sound like you have feelings for the guy.  
  
Luigi: At least he was nice enough to save me from Waluigi...unlike you.  
  
Peach: I hate to admit it, but he has a point there, Mario. Luigi would've had puke on his face if Bowser didn't help out...then again I shouldn't have put anything in the hot dog water.  
  
Yoshi: I still don't see what good swearing will do.  
  
Wario: Think about this. Swearing makes you feel better. When Peach was playing Mario Party 2 and landed on a Bowser Space, she swore up a storm and she felt better. Even our friend, Mario, swore up a storm because of the pizza problem last night and he felt better. Mario recently squirted me in the nostril again. After a cuss-and-chase session, I felt better.  
  
Yoshi: I'm still not convinced. D.K. told us not to swear anyway.  
  
D.K.: Huh? Oh you can fucking forget about that. By the way, if you did swear once, can you at least tell us what you said?  
  
Yoshi: What I said was...ha! I'm not saying it! You think I'm that stupid?  
  
D.K.: Aw...it didn't work.  
  
Toad: Yoshi, you know we'll make you swear sooner or later.  
  
Yoshi: And in the meantime, I'll just stand my ground.  
  
Wario: You should always give into peer pressure.  
  
(Yoshi folds his arms and turns his back to everyone.)  
  
Yoshi: Nope. I won't.  
  
Toad: So be it...but we reserve the right to call you a wuss.  
  
Yoshi: Fine with me.  
  
Toad: Okay. Wuss.  
  
Wario: So, Peach, how's Luigi's Adventure at the Sea?  
  
Peach: It sort of makes me think. Can Luigi really hatch an egg?  
  
Luigi: Assuming that I tried, of course, I probably could. Um...I better check on Bowser. 


	18. Really Bad Booboos

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 18: Really Bad Booboos  
  
(When Luigi got back to the kitchen, he saw Bowser and Waluigi on the ground, moaning in pain. Bowser was even bleeding.).  
  
Luigi: Dude...what happened to you?  
  
Bowser: Ow...the pain...Luigi...defeat...my enemy...  
  
Luigi: !?!?  
  
Waluigi: What was that?  
  
Luigi: Just kidding. Where did I hear Bowser say that? It's like I heard it before.  
  
Bowser: I mean it...avenge me...  
  
Waluigi: Listen Bowser. If I could get up, I'd kick you into last week.  
  
Luigi: Wario! Get your freakish brother out of here! NOW!  
  
(Wario came in.)  
  
Wario: Did you want something?  
  
Luigi: Yeah. Get Waluigi out of here.  
  
Wario: Okay.  
  
(Wario drags Waluigi out of the kitchen.)  
  
Luigi: Don't worry, Bowser. I'll fix you up so you'll be as good as new.  
  
Bowser: May I suggest you work with the duck tape first? Waluigi ripped most of it off.  
  
Luigi: Sure thing.  
  
Bowser: And some bandages for my cuts.  
  
Luigi: Got it.  
  
Bowser: And an ice pack for my-  
  
Luigi: Roger.  
  
(Luigi got a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer and put it on Bowser's head, then he duck taped Bowser's shell back in place.)  
  
Luigi: Better?  
  
Bowser: Get the bandages and I will be.  
  
(Luigi got the bandages and wrapped Bowser's arms and legs.)  
  
Bowser: Yeah I've taken a few hits, but I'm okay now. Even though he kicked me in the groin.  
  
Luigi: !?!?  
  
Bowser: How the heck do you do that?  
  
Luigi: Maybe I'll teach you later. How did he cut you anyway?  
  
Bowser: Obviously, he used a knife.  
  
Luigi: Well, thanks for getting me out of there.  
  
(There was a moment of silence.)  
  
Bowser: You're welcome.  
  
(Upstairs, Mario locked himself in Phil's room and took out the Tanooki Suit.)  
  
Mario: I guess I have to use this. I better try it on.  
  
(Mario put on the Tanooki Suit and looked at himself in a nearby mirror. He wagged his tail, spun around, jumped about, did a backfilp, jumped off the bed and used his tail to float down.)  
  
Mario: Yeah! This works! Good bye, Bunny! Make way for the Easter T-  
  
Peach: Mario, do you want to play Mario Golf with us? Why is the door stuck again?  
  
Mario: Dang it! Uh...I'll be fine. You go on without me.  
  
Peach: Oh...okay.  
  
(Mario waited for Peach to leave.)  
  
Mario: Anyway, good bye, Bunny! Make way for the Easter Tanooki! Heh heh...Easter Tanooki. That has a ring to it. Heh heh. Now...I better look at what I have to deliver.  
  
(Mario got out a suitcase and took out everything. There were candy necklases, chocolate eggs, marshmallow bunnies and other kinds of treats. There was also a few cassette tapes and something that looked like a Game Boy cartridge.)  
  
Mario: What a mess. I better organize this.  
  
(Mario sorted the stuff into eight piles.)  
  
Mario: One egg for Toad. One egg for Yoshi. One necklace for Peach. One necklace for Weegie. One bunny for D-  
  
Peach: I got a hole-in-one! I got a hole-in-one!  
  
Yoshi: Quit gloating!  
  
Toad: You're just lucky I'm not playable in this game.  
  
Mario: Leave me alone! I'm trying to take a nap!  
  
Peach: Oh...sorry to disturb your rest.  
  
(Mario waited for everyone to leave.)  
  
Mario: Hmm...I'm a little short on candy and I forgot the baskets. Dang. I'll have to buy them later.  
  
(Mario put the treats back in the suitcase and hid it, then he took off the Tanooki Suit and put it in the dresser. Mario lays down on the bed and took a nap to prepare himself for the long night ahead. In the bathroom, Wario was puting a splint on Waluigi's middle finger. Waluigi also had bandages on his head and an arm in a sling.)  
  
Wario: Why do you need a splint on your middle finger?  
  
Waluigi: I flipped off Bowser and I guess he didn't like it.  
  
Wario: Ouchies...  
  
(In the kitchen, Luigi helped Bowser onto his feet.)  
  
Luigi: There you go.  
  
Bowser: Thanks. Hey. Weren't we supposed to make fun of someone?  
  
Luigi: ...No. Not really. I already did.  
  
Bowser: Oh yeah. How silly of me.  
  
(Later Luigi, Yoshi, and Peach were dying eggs in the kitchen. Bowser watches them.)  
  
Luigi: Pass me the crayon, Yoshi.  
  
Yoshi: Here you go.  
  
Peach: This Easter is gonna be fun.  
  
Bowser: Where's Mario anyway? He's in charge of hiding the eggs.  
  
Peach: Oh Mario? He's taking a nap. I guess he was tired after all that confusion.  
  
Yoshi: Pass the red dye, Peach.  
  
Peach: Okay.  
  
Luigi: Let me use that when you're done, Yoshi.  
  
(The egg dying took nearly the rest of the day. No one had dinner probably because everyone knows they will be feasting on eggs and candy tomarrow. Since the club house was closed tonight, nobody had anything to do so they went to bed...except Mario the Easter Tanooki.) 


	19. The Easter Tanooki's Run

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 19: The Easter Tanooki's Run  
  
(Mario's plan had worked. He took a nap earliar and woke up to watch TV and went to bed with Peach. She hadn't expected that Mario would wake up to deliver treats for everyone. He felt fresh and ready for work.)  
  
Mario: Now is the time for the Easter Tanooki to do his duties.  
  
(Mario opened the dresser and put on the Tanooki Suit. He took his back pack and dumped everything out of it, then he took his suitcase and put all the stuff in it, then he put the treats into the back pack. This process was no problem for Mario. The Tanooki Suit that he wore also gave him the ability to see in the dark...certainly an advantage. No flashlight needed.)  
  
Mario: My first task is to get the baskets.  
  
(Mario put the back pack on and left the room and went downstairs. Mario had to be careful in the living room because of Bowser and D.K. While Bowser sleeps in a corner, D.K. sleeps in a random spot. In this case, right in front of the doorway to the kitchen.)  
  
D.K.: ...snore...I'll catch...snore...Easter Bunny...snore...this year...  
  
Mario: He wants to catch me, huh? I'll burst his bubble. Heh heh.  
  
(Instead of going to the kitchen to use the door like D.K. seems to have expected, Mario took a detour and used the sliding door. Mario ran across the yard to the driveway and followed it down to the fork. Mario took the left and crossed the bridge, then he went into the store.)  
  
Store Lady: Well, if it isn't another late Easter Bunny.  
  
Mario: Uh...lady. I'm not a bunny.  
  
Store Lady: You're not? Oh! You're not! Just what are you?  
  
Mario: A tanooki...you know...a raccoon.  
  
Store Lady: I see now. An Easter Tanooki. That's cute. Can I take a good look at you?  
  
(Mario puts the hood of his costume down.)  
  
Store Lady: Oh, you're the guy that bought the last Super Soaker Huge Number. Handling well?  
  
Mario: Yes, but that's not why I'm here. I need some Easter baskets.  
  
Store Lady: Ah yes. Just over here we have pink baskets, red baskets, orange baskets, yellow baskets, green baskets, blue baskets, purple baskets and, for those of you that don't like colors, brown baskets.  
  
Mario: Great! I'll take two green and one of each of the other colors. Now I need a few more treats.  
  
Store Lady: Ah...uh...look what came in yesterday.  
  
(Store Lady held up a box of Nintendo All Stars Fruit Snacks.)  
  
Mario: Dang! I need a box of those. Actually, make that two.  
  
Store Lady: All right? Anything else?  
  
Mario: Nope.  
  
Store Lady: I'll just ring these up then. Would you like tags for the baskets? They're free.  
  
Mario: Sure. Can you put the names on them?  
  
Store Lady: Okay.  
  
(Mario took out a list and gave it to Store Lady.)  
  
Mario: Here's all the names.  
  
(Store Lady writes the names on the tags with fancy handwriting.)  
  
Store Lady: They won't reconize that, will they?  
  
Mario: Nope. Could you take a letter too?  
  
Store Lady: Sure tell me what to write.  
  
Mario: Okay. Ahem... Dear Mario Gang. Because of an unexpected emergency the East Bunny could not make it so he sent me instead. Yours truely, the Easter Tanooki.  
  
Store Lady: Here you go.  
  
Mario: Thanks. Here's the money.  
  
(Mario gave Store Lady the money, then he took his stuff and left the store. On his way out, he passed a guy in a rabbit costume.)  
  
Mario: You working under cover too?  
  
Rabbit Guy: You bet. I have five kids to get snacks for.  
  
Mario: Yeah. Me too. We better hurry along then.  
  
(When he got to the bridge, he put his stuff down and took his backpack off.)  
  
Mario: Now I put the stuff in the baskets.  
  
(Mario emptied the back pack and divided the treats into eight of the baskets. He put the fruit snacks in the last one, then he labled the baskets with the tags.)  
  
Mario: Now for the delivery...  
  
(Mario put the empty back pack on and picked up all the baskets, then he ran to the house. He went into the front door, into the kitchen, and put the letter on the table. But he forgot about something...D.K. The ape was in the doorway, but now he was right in front of the staircase. Mario put the orange and brown baskets on the couch, locked the door, then carefully made his way over D.K. and up the stairs. He didn't know it, but his tail brushed up against D.K. when he crossed him and he woke up when Mario was gone.)  
  
D.K.: Huh? What? Oh! That must be him! I'll just wait for him to come back down.  
  
(Upstairs, Mario was about to go in the boys' room when he heard voices...)  
  
Toad: Luigi?  
  
Luigi: What is it now, Toad?  
  
Toad: I heard something again.  
  
Luigi: It's probably the Bunny. Go to sleep.  
  
Toad: Fine. Good night.  
  
Luigi: Good night.  
  
(Mario waited for them to fall asleep, then he went in the room and put the two green baskets, the yellow basket, the blue basket, and the purple basket on the couch. As soon as he left the room, he heard voices again.)  
  
Toad: Luigi!  
  
Luigi: What?  
  
Toad: I heard it again!  
  
(Everyone in the room woke up.)  
  
Luigi, Waluigi, Wario, & Yoshi: SHUT UP, TOAD!  
  
(Mario waited for everyone to stop arguing and go to sleep, then he went into Phil's room. Mario looked at Peach. She was sleeping in bed with a stuffed toy Mario...and that doesn't make much sense if you consider the fact that the real thing sleeps next to her. Anyway, Mario put the last two baskets, the pink and red ones, on the dresser. Mario took his back pack off and put the old stuff back in it, then he stuck it in the corner where it was. Mario took a piece of paper and wrote something on it. He put it next to the red basket, the one with the fruit snacks.)  
  
Mario: Now...just one more thing...  
  
(Mario went out of the room and started down the stairs. D.K. still lays at the bottom. Mario tried to cross him, but his tail got him again, not that it really matters since D.K. was already awake. Mario went into the kitchen.)  
  
D.K.: (to himself) The Bunny went into the kitchen! I'll just creep over there and look at him.  
  
(D.K. crawls to the doorway and peeked in. Mario was getting Easter eggs out of the fridge. The light from the fridge wasn't very bright so Mario looked like a mere shadow. But even still, D.K. could see that Mario had...)  
  
D.K.: (to himself) A long tail? That's got to be the strangest rabbit I've ever seen.  
  
(Mario closed the fridge and went out the front door. Mario went around hiding eggs everywhere. The exploring he did in Chapter Sx proved useful now. When he hid the last egg, he went back in the house. D.K. was sleeping next to the couch now so Mario had no difficulty going up the stairs. He went into Phil's room, put the Tanooki Suit away, and went to bed. Tomarrow will tell if his mission was sucessful...) 


	20. Egghunts and Crossovers Are Fun

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 20: Egg Hunts and Crossovers Are Fun  
  
Begin Day 5...  
  
Peach: Mario, wake up.  
  
(It was Easter moring. Peach shakes Mario to wake him up.)  
  
Mario: Yeah? What is it?  
  
Peach: The Bunny came! Look at the wonderful baskets he brought! Let's check them out!  
  
Mario: You go ahead. I'm too comfortable.  
  
Peach: All right then.  
  
(Peach picked up the baskets and brought them to the bed.)  
  
Peach: That's funny. Your basket has only fruit snacks.  
  
Mario: I...uh...requested for them...  
  
(Everyone in the boys' room were celebrating too. They were digging in the baskets.)  
  
Yoshi: Oh, happy day!  
  
Waluigi: Marshmallow bunnies galore!  
  
Wario: Sweeeeet...  
  
Toad: Hey Luigi. I told you I heard something last night.  
  
Luigi: I don't want to hear about it. Huh? Oh...my...God!  
  
Waluigi: What's up dude?  
  
Luigi: The Bunny gave me Pokemon Gold!  
  
Waluigi: Cool!  
  
Wario: Oh...that's better than what I have.  
  
Yoshi: What did you get?  
  
Wario: A Pokemon Pikachu 2 GS...  
  
Toad: Heh. Either the Bunny know about your electric personality or he wants you to exerise more.  
  
Wario: Grrrrr...  
  
Luigi: I'll check on Bowser  
  
(Luigi went downstairs and saw that Bowser and D.K. got baskets.)  
  
Bowser: Yes! YES! YESSSSS!  
  
D.K.: What did you get?  
  
Bowser: I got an AC/DC tape!  
  
D.K.: Neat! That will be useful against Wario.  
  
Luigi: Hey Bowser.  
  
Bowser: Hey Luigi. Did the bunny get you anything good?  
  
Luigi: Yeah. Look at this.  
  
(Luigi shows Bowser his green basket.)  
  
Bowser: Pokemon Gold and the Super Mario 64 soundtrack?!  
  
D.K.: Dude, the Bunny SPOILED you!  
  
Luigi: I wonder if Mario hid the eggs.  
  
(Luigi went into the kitchen and ran out with a piece of paper.)  
  
Luigi: It was a tanooki!  
  
Bowser: What was a tanooki?  
  
Luigi: Read this...  
  
(Luigi gave the paper to Bowser. He read it and gave it to D.K.)  
  
D.K.: I thought there was something a bit odd about that guy when I saw him last night.  
  
Luigi & Bowser: YOU SAW THE EASTER TANOOKI?!  
  
(Later, Luigi is cooking pancakes for everyone. Mario, Yoshi, D.K., and Waluigi stare at the pancakes that were served to them.)  
  
Waluigi: This...has...a smily face! That's scary.  
  
Yoshi: How did you manage to cook it right into the pancake?  
  
Luigi: It's easy. You take some batter and make a face in the pan, wait a little while, then put more batter on the face, wait awhile longer, flip it over and- Bingo! A smiling pancake!  
  
(Luigi plopped a pancake onto a plate and gave it to Bowser.)  
  
Bowser: It's so beautiful, I don't know if I want to eat it...  
  
(After breakfast, everyone grabbed some buckets and went outside.)  
  
Mario: Okay people. It's time for the Egg Hunt. I've hidden the eggs everywhere. Check every place you can think of. The hunt starts..........NOW!  
  
(And with that, everyone scampered across the yard in search of eggs. D.K. climbed trees. Waluigi went in the clubhouse. Luigi crawled under the trampoline. Toad and Yoshi made their way to the two boats covered with a tarp.)  
  
Toad: Looks like a good place to check, huh?  
  
Yoshi: Yeah. That van over there looks like a good bet too.  
  
(A second later, Peach popped out of the van and ran to the garage.)  
  
Yoshi: Then again...maybe not.  
  
(Suddenly, there was a noise like thunder! It made the dino and the shroom jump!)  
  
Toad: What the hell was that?!  
  
(Yoshi points to the sky.)  
  
Yoshi: It looked like...a shooting star!  
  
Toad: In the daytime?  
  
Mario: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!  
  
(Everyone was running around in panic, when suddenly there was a really big Kaboom!)  
  
Luigi: That came from the forest!  
  
Waluigi: We better check it out!  
  
Wario: We'll get there faster if we take the bridge! Let's go!  
  
(Everyone ran down the driveway and to the bridge. Bowser didn't cross the bridge. He saw some multi-colored objects among the rocks. He goes down to collect them.)  
  
Bowser: Who would've thought Mario would put eggs here?  
  
(Everyone else went into the forest. After a little searching, they found a large smoking crater.)  
  
Mario: I'll take it from here.  
  
Peach: Mario!  
  
(Mario went toward the smoke. When it cleared, there was a star stuck in the ground and clinging to it was a round, pink puffy-looking thing with big red feet and beady black eyes.)  
  
Mario: Kirby?  
  
Kirby: Mario?  
  
Mario & Kirby: What are you doing here?!  
  
Mario: Me? I'm taking a vacation with my friends.  
  
Kirby: And me? There was a navigational error. You're Mario, no?  
  
Mario: Well...yeah.  
  
Kirby: Put 'er there, pal!  
  
(Kirby holds out one of his flaps. Mario shakes it.)  
  
Kirby: I never thought I'd meet Nintendo's main man, Mario.  
  
Mario: And I never...uh...thought I'd meet a real puffball, Kirby.  
  
Kirby: You said you had friends?  
  
Mario: Yeah. They're around. Hey guys! He's safe!  
  
(No one comes out.)  
  
Kirby: Chickens...  
  
Mario: They were there. They probably went back to the house.  
  
(Kirby hops onto Mario's head.)  
  
Kirby: Take me there! I want to meet them!  
  
Mario: All right then.  
  
(Mario carries the 8-inch critter all the way back to the house. When he gets there...)  
  
Luigi: Look out, Mario! There's a brain-sucking alien on your head!  
  
Kirby: Uh oh!  
  
(Kirby flew off Mario just before Luigi tackled him. Kirby lands on Luigi.)  
  
Luigi: It's on me! AAAHHH!!! Get it off!  
  
Kirby: Relax Luigi. It's only me, Kirby.  
  
(Kirby blushes. Luigi took a good look at what he was trying to fight with for the first time and also blushes.)  
  
Luigi: Eh...uh...oops.  
  
Mario: Hey Weegie. You're a good tackle for a guy your size, but next time MAKE SURE IT'S NOT A FELLOW NINTENDO STAR!  
  
(Everyone ran toward the plumbers and the puffball. Their buckets were full of eggs.)  
  
Yoshi: Whoa! It's Kirby!  
  
D.K.: What is he doing here?  
  
Toad: What the hell is that?  
  
Mario: this is Kirby. He came from the star that fell from the sky. Tell them a little bit about yourself, Kirby.  
  
Kirby: Greetings. I come from the planet of Pop Star. I...uh...seem to have landed here because HAL made a navigational error. Don't worry. This isn't the first time. Just last week I was sent to Hyrule. Yucky place. Aww, look at the Yoshi!  
  
Yoshi: Huh?  
  
(Kirby flew off Luigi and onto Yoshi's nose.)  
  
Kirby: Hi there, cute little Yoshi!  
  
Yoshi: Leggo of my nose...  
  
Kirby: Hey! It's D.K.!  
  
(Kirby flew of Yoshi and onto D.K.)  
  
Kirby: Hi, Almighty Powerful D.K.!  
  
(Kirby went around saying hi to everyone, but appearenty he didn't know their names.)  
  
Kirby: Hi, dragonturtle dude! Hello, pretty lady! Hiya, funny mushroom guy!  
  
Mario: Friendly little thing, isn't he? That's enough greetings, Kirby.  
  
Luigi: I never thought this vacation would have a cross over... 


	21. Heeeeeere's Daisy!

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 21: Heeeeeere's Daisy!  
  
Kirby: So...what do you guys do for fun?  
  
(Everyone was in the living room watching TV.)  
  
Bowser: Nothing that is sane...  
  
Waluigi: Like you're one to judge. What do you think we're doing right now? Are you saying watching TV is insane?  
  
Bowser: Well, no. But playing kissing games and squirting sleeping people in the nose is not what I call sane.  
  
Luigi: You guys want to know what I think is insane? The fact that neither one of you guys have your bandages on.  
  
Wario: Yeah. What happened to your sling, Waluigi?  
  
Mario: Hey guys. Look at this crazy commercial.  
  
(On TV, there was a little kid playing Marco Polo in a pool. He doesn't know it, but everyone else was out of the pool, sleeping. It is clear that the kid was getting frustrated.)  
  
Peach: Poor kid...  
  
Toad: What a dumbass!  
  
Mario: Tell me about it! Huh?!  
  
(Everyone watched the TV in amazement when they saw that it was actually a commercial for...)  
  
everyone: MARIO PARTY 3?!  
  
Mario: How come Nintendo never told us about this?  
  
Yoshi: Did anyone notice Waluigi was in there?  
  
Waluigi: You bet I did! Whoo hoo! I'm in another game!  
  
(Waluigi does some kind of victory dance.)  
  
Wario: Okay...weird dance...  
  
Kirby: Hey Luigi. Don't you have a girlfriend?  
  
Luigi: Girlfriend? Um...lemme think.  
  
D.K.: I just had a thought. This vacation has only one girl. That's no fun. Here we are, eight perfectly good guys and-  
  
Kirby: I'm a guy.  
  
D.K.: ...You're too cute to be a guy. Anyway, we need another chick. Luigi, go out and find a chick!  
  
Luigi: I'll look for my girl, Daisy.  
  
Kirby: So you do have a girlfriend, huh?  
  
Luigi: Yeah. Being almost noon, I'd say she's at Blockbuster Video renting some movies. I'll go find her.  
  
Bowser: I'm going too.  
  
(Luigi and Bowser run out the door, down the driveway, to the docks and into the boat.)  
  
Bowser: Hey Luigi. Can you drive this thing?  
  
Luigi: Can I drive it? I could drive a living room couch if it had a motor.  
  
Bowser: Um...okay then.  
  
(Luigi started the motor and drove the boat all the way back to Peach's Castle.)  
  
Bowser: Wow. Look at the place. It looks old and mysterious now.  
  
Luigi: Huh? It looks exactly the way it did before.  
  
Bowser: Oh, so it does. I guess the fact that I haven't seen it in about five days made me think it looked different. Well, let's hop into are karts and go.  
  
(Luigi and Bowser got off the boat and walked towards the back of the castle and found their karts, then they used them to drive to Blockbuster Video. When they get inside...)  
  
Bowser: So where do we look?  
  
Luigi: Let's try comedy.  
  
(Luigi and Bowser go to the comedy section. Luigi was right. Daisy was looking at the South Park videos.)  
  
Daisy: Got it...got it...got it...hmmm I didn't see that one yet...got it...got it... Dang! Where's "Not Without My Anus"? What wrong with you people?  
  
Luigi: Daisy?  
  
Daisy: Huh? AAAHHH!!! Luigi!  
  
Luigi: Whoops! I...heh heh...didn't realize you were busy.  
  
Daisy: Luigi, could I borrow your "Not Without My Anus" tape? They don't have it here.  
  
Luigi: Um...I don't have it.  
  
Daisy: Don't tell me Waluigi stole it again.  
  
Luigi: No no no. We're all taking a vacation on Phillip Island and we wanted to know if you would join us.  
  
Daisy: Who's "we"?  
  
Luigi: Oh, Mario and Yoshi and Peach-  
  
Daisy: Peach?!  
  
Luigi: and Waluigi-  
  
Daisy: Waluigi?! You've got to be joking.  
  
Luigi: But things aren't quite the same. Bowser, for example, is on my side for once. He even got in a fight with Waluigi!  
  
Daisy: Really?  
  
Bowser: Here's a sign of my loyalty to Luigi.  
  
(Bowser shows Daisy one of the cuts Waluigi gave him.)  
  
Daisy: Yikes...  
  
Luigi: And Toad swears every five minutes and...uh...we got a Kirby...  
  
Daisy: Awwwww... A Kirby! I just have to see it. I don't have any plans this week so...yes. I want to come. Lemme check out first.  
  
(Daisy went to the counter and paid for the videos she had, then all three of them went outside. Luigi and Bowser got into their karts while Daisy got into her car, then they drove to Peach's Castle. When Luigi and Bowser were putting the karts in the back, Bowser saw something he didn't before.)  
  
Bowser: Hey Luigi. Do you know why a chunk of the castle wall missing?  
  
Luigi: Yeah. When I was duking it out with Peach and Banjo, I threw Peach into a wall and that's where she hit.  
  
Bowser & Daisy: Coooool...  
  
Bowser: Ooo, that's strong!  
  
Daisy: That's my man!  
  
Luigi: Well, let's get going.  
  
(Luigi, Daisy, and Bowser get onto the boat and Luigi drove it back to Phillip Island.)  
  
Daisy: Sooo... this is where your high school buddy lives... Now where's the cute-ickle puffy-kins?  
  
Luigi: If you mean Kirby, he should be at the house.  
  
(Meanwhile in the boys' room, Mario and Kirby were playing a team battle in Super Smash Bros.)  
  
Kirby: Try singing to my Final Cutter, Jigglypuff! It's fun to beat up look alikes!  
  
Mario: Yeah. But Captain Falcon looks nothing like me.  
  
Kirby: C'mon Mario. The guys a jerk.  
  
Mario: Hmm...you're right. Eat Tornado, Captain Jerkass!  
  
(Suddenly, the door opened and Daisy ran in.)  
  
Mario: Pause! Hi Daisy.  
  
Daisy: There he is!  
  
(Mario waited for Daisy to hug him, but instead she picks up Kirby and hugs him.)  
  
Daisy: You're so cute and cuddly, you're like a living stuffed toy!  
  
(Luigi came into the room.)  
  
Luigi: No! I'm too late! She isn't hurting you, is she, Kirby?  
  
(Kirby blushes.)  
  
Kirby: Don't worry. I could get used to this place. 


	22. Movie Madness

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 22: Movie Madness  
  
(It is afternooon and everyone was in the living room. Daisy was holding two tapes in one hand and Kirby in the other.)  
  
Mario: What movies did you rent, Daisy?  
  
Daisy: One is Happy Gilmore and the other is Soth Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut.  
  
Mario: Good choices.  
  
Daisy: But what do we watch first? I know. I'll let Puffy Wuffy pick.  
  
Toad: I want some fucking South Park!  
  
Kirby: I like happy things so I want to see Happy Gilmore.  
  
Toad: I said South Park, dammit!  
  
Kirby: Goodness. Do you always talk like that?  
  
Daisy: Really Toad. Cutiepuff says he wants to see Happy Gilmore.  
  
(Daisy puts the video in the VCR.)  
  
Daisy: And knowing how much you swear, you'll probably like this, Toad.  
  
(For those of you who didn't know already, Happy Gilmore is about a guy that used to play hockey. The IRS took his grandma's house and he has to raise enough money to get it back. After he found out how good he is at golf, and being able to drive the ball 400 yards is VERY good, he decides to get money by joining the Pro Tour. Unfortunatly, he's extremely short- tempered which gets in his way a lot. Anyway, a little later in the movie, Happy goes to hit the ball...but he missed!  
  
Happy: BEEPing BEEP! BEEP me in the BEEPing ass! BEEP you, you stupid BEEP BEEPer! Monkey BEEP licking BEEPer! BEEP! Fuck that!  
  
Kirby: That surely isn't good...  
  
Wario: Looks like Waluigi when he misses!  
  
Waluigi: Grrrrr...  
  
D.K.: Did he say something about monkeys?  
  
Luigi: ?!?!  
  
Bowser: Ha ha ha. You're funny, Luigi.  
  
(A few mintues later Happy was on the 17th green and some guy is telling him that the hole is the ball's home. Happy hits the ball, but it didn't go far enough.)  
  
Happy: Son-of-a-bitch ball, why don't you just go home?! That's your home! Are you too good for your home?! Answer me! Suck my white ass, ball!  
  
(Happy takes a flagpole and hurls it at a cameraman.)  
  
Wario: That, people, is why Waluigi isn't in Mario Golf.  
  
Waluigi: Shut up...  
  
Peach: Adam Sandler movies were always quite strange.  
  
Mario: You can say that again.  
  
Peach: Adam Sandler movies were always quite strange.  
  
Luigi: ?!?!  
  
Bowser: You're silly.  
  
(Later, Happy was in a tournament where everyone had to golf with a celebrity. Happy was stuck with Bob Barker, the host of the game show The Price is Right. After a few bad holes, Happy and Bob got in a fight. Happy tackles Bob and headbutts him, seemingly knocking him out.)  
  
Happy: The price is wrong, bitch.  
  
(Suddenly, Bob grabs Happy and punches him a few times, throwing him to the ground.)  
  
Bob: I think you've had enough.  
  
(Bob starts to walk away. Happy tries to get back up.)  
  
Bob: No?  
  
(Bob kicks Happy in the face, knocking him out cold.)  
  
Bob: Now you've had enough...bitch.  
  
Toad: What the hell? That is NOT like Bob at all!  
  
Yoshi: I'll say.  
  
Luigi: ?!?!  
  
Bowser: You gotta teach me how to do that.  
  
Wario: Hmm...I'm not sure if Waluigi gets in a fight when he loses.  
  
Waluigi: Shut it, Wario.  
  
(Later still, Happy was minigolfing. The course he was on has a big clown's head. The object here is to hit the ball up the tongue ramp and into the mouth. Happy tries it once, but the clown blocks the ball with it's teeth. and laughs and annoying laugh. Happy tries it again, but the clown blocks and laughs again. Happy tries it a third time. This time the ball goes in, but the clown spit it out and laughs.)  
  
Happy: You're gonna die, clown!  
  
(Happy runs up to the clown and used his putter to smack the clown's nose off. Sparks go flying and the laugh becomes warped and finally it stops.)  
  
Kirby: I don't think his name should be Happy.  
  
Daisy: You got that right, you little cutie.  
  
Wario: I can see Waluigi doing that.  
  
Waluigi: I thought I told you to shut up!  
  
Luigi: ?!?!  
  
Bowser: You have a lot to say, huh?  
  
(When the movie ends, Daisy stops the tape and rewinds it.)  
  
Waluigi: Hey Toad.  
  
Toad: What?  
  
Waluigi: Beeping beep! Beep me in the beeping ass! Beep you, you stupid beep beeper! Monkey beep licking beeper! Beep! Fuck that!  
  
Toad: That was weird. It sounds way better if you really swear.  
  
Waluigi: I don't know what he says.  
  
Toad: I do. He says... Fucking shit! Fuck me in the fucking ass! Fuck you, you stupid cunt fucker! Monkey shit licking fucker! Shit! Fuck that!  
  
Waluigi: No wonder most of that was beeped out.  
  
Luigi: If you think that was cool, get a load of this.  
  
(Luigi inhales deeply.)  
  
Luigi: FUCKING SHIT! FUCK ME IN THE FUCKING ASS! FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID CUNT FUCKER! MONKEY SHIT LICKING FUCKER! SHIT! FUCK THAT!  
  
Toad: Dammit!  
  
(Bowser looks at Luigi with heart-shaped eyes.)  
  
Bowser: Awsome...  
  
Daisy: Now it's time to watch South Park.  
  
(Daisy took the tape out of the VCR and put in the other one.)  
  
Toad: This is gonna be good...  
  
(South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut is about..well...uh... How do I put this? I'm pretty sure you're familiar with South Park. If you're not, you're either too young or an idiot. And if you're too young, I just have one question to ask you...What in heaven's name are you doing here?! Anyway, later the kids were in class saying the F word a bunch of times and the teacher was getting mad.)  
  
Mr. Garison: How would you like to see the principal?  
  
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?!  
  
(All the kids gasp.)  
  
Mr. Garison: What did you say?!  
  
Cartman: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Actually, what I meant to say was...  
  
(Cartman gets a megaphone out.)  
  
Cartman: Ahem...HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS...MR. GARISON?!  
  
(Mr. Garison stares.)  
  
Stan: Holy shit, dude.  
  
Kirby: Well, he's going to see the principal.  
  
Daisy: Ummm...yup.  
  
Peach: Where can I get a megaphone like that?  
  
(Later on, the kids saw the Terrence and Phillip movie again and were walking down the street. Cartman doesn't think it's possible to light farts on fire, but Kenny thinks it can be done.)  
  
Cartman: Okay Kenny. I bet you a hundred dollars you can't light a fart on fire.  
  
Kenny: (muffled) Yes you can. Check it out.  
  
(Kenny lights a match, holds it up to his butt and farts, creating a small flame. Kenny chuckles, but then he bursts into flames.)  
  
D.K.: Ouch...  
  
Waluigi: Wario, do all all a favor and don't light your farts on fire. You might burn the house down.  
  
Wario: Hey!  
  
(Later still, there was a scene that was focused on the Baldwins. On was talking on a cell phone and two others where in a pool. By the way, Bowser fall asleep.)  
  
Baldwin 1: Baldwin residense. No, this is Billy Baldwin. If you want Danial Baldwin, call his extension. Sssstupid!  
  
Baldwin 2: Hey Alan. Do you know what sucks about being a Baldwin?  
  
Baldwin 3: No. What?  
  
Baldwin 2: Nothing! Ha ha ha!  
  
Luigi: Hey Mario. Do you know what sucks about being a Mario brother?  
  
Mario: Uh...no.  
  
Luigi: Nothing! Bwhahahaha!  
  
Mario: Oh. Really original.  
  
(Even later, Mario Wario and D.K. fell asleeep. It was getting dark outside so it was no surprise that people were falling asleep. Anyway, in the movie Stan, Kyle, Cartman and The Mole, a kid that looks like he belongs in the army, were going to free Terrence and Phillip. The Mole starts to dig a hole.)  
  
Kyle: Be careful, dude.  
  
The Mole: Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coathanger while I was still in the womb?  
  
Yoshi: Is that possible?  
  
Toad: How the hell should I know? It's just a fucking cartoon.  
  
Yoshi: Sorry I asked...  
  
(By the time the movie was over, Luigi, Toad and Kirby were the only ones awake. Everyone else was asleep.)  
  
Toad: Well, that sucked.  
  
Kirby: What do we do now?  
  
Toad: I dunno...and I bet Luigi doesn't know either.  
  
Luigi: Lemme think for a minute.  
  
(Luigi looked at Mario. He was sleeping next to Peach and was snoring loudly.)  
  
Luigi: Hmm...I got something that is worth watching... 


	23. America's Embarrassing Home Videos

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 23: America's Embarrassing Home Videos  
  
Luigi: Hey Bowser. Wake up.  
  
Bowser: Huh? Wha? I fell asleep?  
  
Luigi: Yeah. You were the first one to fall asleep.  
  
Bowser: What a boring movie.  
  
Luigi: Listen. I'll show you something funny if you do me a favor.  
  
Bowser: Sure. What?  
  
Luigi: See Mario? Pick him up and put him in Phil's room.  
  
Bowser: Okay.  
  
(Bowser picked up Mario with one hand and carried him upstairs.)  
  
Kirby: What are you planning, Luigi?  
  
Luigi: You'll see...  
  
(Bowser came back down.)  
  
Bowser: I'm back.  
  
Luigi: Great. Wake up everyone while I get something.  
  
(Luigi went upstairs while Bowser woke up everyone.)  
  
Waluigi: What's going on here?  
  
Bowser: Luigi is going to show us a video.  
  
(Luigi came back with his backpack.)  
  
Luigi: Yeah. One that will embarrass the heck at of Mario.  
  
Yoshi: Aw, man. Not Super Mario Bros. the movie! I got stabbed!  
  
Toad: I was turned into a goomba!  
  
Bowser: I was still called Koopa!  
  
Wario: I wasn't even in it!  
  
Luigi: It's not that movie! It's something I made myself. Look at this preview picture. Thanks for the pic, Wario.  
  
(Luigi gave Bowser a picture. It had Mario taking a bath. He was naked except he still had his hat on and he was holding a brush in one hand. You could clearly see his shirt and overalls hung up nearby. He has some funky lookin' feet and what's up with that huge cheesey grin on his face.)  
  
Bowser: Oh my God! Bwhahahahahaha!  
  
(Bowser passes the picture around.)  
  
Waluigi: AAAHHH!!! PORNO!  
  
Toad: That is fucking sick!  
  
Kirby: I was kinda hungry, but I think I've lost it...  
  
Wario: I didn't take this pic.  
  
Luigi: You didn't? Peach told me you did.  
  
(Peach's face turns bright red.)  
  
Peach: (whispering to herself) Please don't look at me... Please don't look at me... Please don't look at me...  
  
(Everyone looks at her.)  
  
Peach: Shit! I mean...oops!  
  
Daisy: That explains the weird smile. Peach took that picture!  
  
everyone: Ewww...  
  
Luigi: Anyway, I found the video.  
  
(Luigi took at South Park video out of the VCR and put in his tape, then he pushed the play button. Everyone looks at the TV.)  
  
Wario: Dude, it's Mario when he was a little kid!  
  
Yoshi: But what is he singing?  
  
TV Mario: I love you, you love me...  
  
D.K.: Oh God! He's singing Barney songs!  
  
Bowser: Please! Turn it off! This is worse than 98 Disease!  
  
(The scene changes. Now it shows Mario still as a little kid, but he is having a tea party with his Care Bears stuffed toys.)  
  
TV Mario: Would you like more tea, Birthday Bear?  
  
Peach: I didn't think he even liked Care Bears.  
  
TV Mario: (for Birthday Bear) Yes please. You make the best tea in the world. Don't you think so, Love-a-lot Bear? (for Love-a-lot Bear) I think it's just lovely.  
  
Kirby: This is too cute even for me.  
  
Daisy: You think so too, huh?  
  
TV Mario: How do you like it, Grumpy Bear. (for Grumpy Bear) I think it tastes salty!  
  
(Everyone laughs at the stupid comment.)  
  
Waluigi: This guy's got problems!  
  
Toad: He needs some fucking help!  
  
(The next scene showed little kid Mario sleeping on a couch.)  
  
Bowser: Ooookay. You probably see this everyday, don't you, Luigi?  
  
Luigi: You got that right.  
  
(Another scene showed a eight year old Mario eating worms.)  
  
TV Mario: Mmm...wiggly spagetti...  
  
everyone: Ewww...  
  
Waluigi: I think I'm gonna hurl!  
  
(Waluigi ran into the kitchen and threw up in a trash can.)  
  
Toad: Well, he had enough sense to do it in a trash can this time.  
  
(The next few scenes showed Mario having more tea parties and naps.)  
  
Yoshi: He such a little kid...  
  
(Another scene showed Mario and Wario as teenagers.)  
  
TV Wario: Hey Mario. You wanna get high?  
  
TV Mario: Sure.  
  
TV Wario: Okay. Smoke this joint.  
  
D.K.: Mario getting high? This ought to be fun.  
  
(On TV, Wario lit a joint and gave it to Mario, who smoked it.)  
  
TV Wario:Feel anything?  
  
TV Mario: No.  
  
TV Wario: Funny. Smoke another one.  
  
(Wario lit another joint and gave it to Mario.)  
  
Bowser: Mario smokes? Ha ha ha. Cool!  
  
TV Wario: Feel anything now?  
  
TV Mario: No. Still nothing.  
  
TV Wario: Still? have another one.  
  
(Mario smokes another one.)  
  
TV Mario: I need another one. I'm not getting anything.  
  
(Three joints and two bongs later...)  
  
TV Wario: Dang! How many does he need? Luigi, get me a beer.  
  
TV Luigi: Hey. I'm not supposed to talk. I gotta hold the camera.  
  
TV Wario: Fine then.  
  
(Wario got a can of beer and gave it to Mario. He drank it and about a minute.)  
  
Peach: If Mario can't get high, can he get drunk?  
  
TV Mario: Heyyyyyyyyyy baaaaabyyyyyyyyyy. Yooooou wannaaaaaaaaaa gooooo out tooooooooooniiiiight?  
  
(Mario hugs Wario.)  
  
Toad: What the hell?  
  
Peach: That answers my question.  
  
(Mario kisses Wario.)  
  
Waluigi: Holy shit!  
  
(Everyone laughs so hard that it woke up Mario upstairs.)  
  
Mario: What the? How did I get in here? And what is that noise?  
  
(Downstairs on TV, a more modern Mario just saved Pauline from the evil clutches of Donkey Kong.)  
  
Pauline: Thank you, Mario. You were so- Hey! Get your hands away from that!  
  
(Slap!)  
  
Daisy: So that's why Mario lost Pauline...  
  
Kirby: Mario shouldn't have done that.  
  
(Everyone laughs again and Mario heard it.)  
  
Mario: Weird...it's laughing. I wonder what's so funny.  
  
(Everyone continues to watch the video. Now it showed Mario with a raccoon tail watching TV. His tail was wagging like crazy.)  
  
Waluigi: I hope he's not watching Barney again.  
  
(Waluigi starts to drink a glass of Hi-C.)  
  
Wario: Nope. It's Pee Wee's Playhouse.  
  
(Suddenly, Waluigi spits juice all over the TV screen.)  
  
Waluigi: Oh my God! Does he have a freakin' problem or what?  
  
D.K.: Why did you have to spray the TV?  
  
Toad: Hi-C probably tastes like shit after you've thrown up.  
  
(Everyone, but Waluigi laughs loudy. Mario, who was trying to sleep, heard them again.)  
  
Mario: That's it. Time to shut them up.  
  
(Mario got up and started to walk to the door. Downstairs, the video showed every possible way to die in Super Mario 64.)  
  
Yoshi: What's this?  
  
( Boom! A Bob-omb explodes on Mario and kills him.)  
  
Bowser: Ouchies!  
  
(Splat! A Thwomp crushed Mario. Zap! Mario got electrocuted. Glub! Mario drowns. Everyone, but Kirby, laughs.)  
  
Kirby: Um...maybe we should keep quiet.  
  
(Mario was halfway down the stairs when...sizzle! Mario was burned by lava in the video and everyone laughs.)  
  
Mario: What the heck is going on here?  
  
(Wham! Mario jumped off Peach's three story castle and into the dry moat. Aaahhh! Mario was sucked into a sand pit. Gulp! Mario was swallowed by a giant fish. Everyone laughs as Mario got to the bottom of the stairs.)  
  
Mario: And just what the hell is so fucking funny?!  
  
Luigi: Huh? Uh oh! Um...er...nothing really...  
  
(On TV, the scene went back to the real Mario. He was holding a Warp Whistle.)  
  
TV Mario: Hey Luigi. Toad said if I toot on this whistle, I'll be transported to a far away land, right?  
  
TV Luigi: Yeah.  
  
TV Mario: That thing isn't on, is it?  
  
TV Luigi: Um...no. I'm just praticing.  
  
TV Mario: Okay. I'm gonna toot on the whistle.  
  
(Mario pulled his pants down and stuck the whistle in his butt.)  
  
TV Luigi: Huh? NO MARIO! THAT IS NOT WHAT TOAD MEANT!  
  
(Mario farted and made the whistle fly out of his butt and into the camera. Everyone, but Mario and Kirby, laugh. Kirby looked ashamed and Mario looked just plain ticked.)  
  
Kirby: Uh oh...  
  
Mario: Weegie, you lied! You said that thing wasn't on! You dumbass!  
  
Luigi: Eh...oops.  
  
Mario: How could you, Weegie, how could you...  
  
(The next scene showed Mario playing Mario Golf. Suddenly, his face turns bright red, the throws the controller at the TV, and he flips off the N64.)  
  
TV Mario: Now what the heck was that?! I aimed toward the hill, adjusted for the wind and hit the ball perfectly, but it STILL lands in the bunker! Screw you, Boo Valley!  
  
Mario: Why, Weegie, why?  
  
Luigi: Uh...I dunno.  
  
Mario: Well I've had it! I'm sick of you guys making fun of me! I am sooo out of here! See ya later, mother fuckers!  
  
(Mario opened the sliding door and ran out.)  
  
Luigi: Wait! Mario!  
  
Kirby: I knew he would get mad about this.  
  
Daisy: Sorry for ignoring you, Kirbster.  
  
Toad: Luigi, just let him fucking go.  
  
Yoshi: Yeah. I think he needs to cool off... 


	24. BLIZZARD!!!

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 24: BLIZZARD!

Luigi: Oh boy. Maybe I shouldn't have done that.

(Everyone was still in the living room. Wario was watching the video again. Cough...cough...plop! Toxic gas kills Mario. Slam! Bowser runs over Mario. Wario laughs like a dummy while everyone else give him a dirty look.)

Wario: What?

Bowser: Wario, it's not funny anymore.

Wario: But you just ran over Mario.

D.K.: Shut up, Wario!

Kirby: Really. This made Mario mad and he ran away. that's no laughing matter.

Daisy: Preach on, brotha'.

Kirby: It's all fun and games until you hurt someone's feelings. Now Mario is out there in the dark and he's probably lost.

Waluigi: Kirby, don't blame this on Wario. Blame it on Luigi! It was his idea to show us that stupid tape in the first place!

Toad: Hey! The bastard actually has a fucking point! Luigi did this!

Yoshi: This is Luigi's fault!

Bowser: Lay off him, will ya?

Daisy: Yeah. The guy just wanted to have a good time.

(Soon, an arguement started and Luigi was in the middle of it. he didn't know what to do. Bowser, Wario, Daisy and D.K. were with him and Peach, Waluigi, Toad and Yoshi were against him. Kirby's face was turning from pink to red.)

Kirby: QUIET!

(Everyone stares.)

Kirby: I realized something. Luigi is not to blame. I mean, sure, Luigi showed us the video, but if we didn't laugh so hard Mario wouldn't have woken up and ran away. So what I'm trying to say is...we're all to blame.

(Everyone has a look of disappointment on their faces.)

Daisy: Puff n' Stuff is right. I heard him trying to warn us when we were watching the tape. I think we all awe him an apology.

everyone: Sorry Kirby...

Daisy: I think we should also awe Mario an apology

Luigi: Yeah. Mario isn't a hothead. He'll come back.

(Two hours later...)

Luigi: I guess he's not coming back.

Bowser: May I suggest that we look for him?

Luigi: We might as well.

(Luigi, Bowser, Daisy and Kirby went outside to look for Mario. It was really dark outside. Kirby decided to go on air patrol and fly. Daisy decided to check the store. Luigi and Bowser check out the club house.)

Luigi: Marioooooo!

(Bowser snickers.)

Luigi: What's so funny?

Bowser: Um...it's a joke I heard earilar.

Luigi: Oh. I guess Mario isn't in here. Let's check the van. Mariooooooo!

(Bowser snickers again.)

Luigi: Hmm?

Bowser: Uh...nothing.

(Luigi and Bowser walk down the driveway. They didn't know it, but Mario was nearby. Mario was in the hillside hole he found in Chapter Six.)

Mario: Heh heh heh. He'll never find me in here...

Luigi: Marioooooooo!

(Bowser snickers again.)

Luigi: What the heck, Bowser?

Bowser: Okay. I admit. you sound funny when you call for Mario.

(Kirby lands on Luigi.)

Luigi: Aaahhh! Kirby!

Kirby: Sorry! I just wanted to report that I haven't seen Mario.

(Daisy came.)

Daisy: He's not at the store. Has cutiepuff seen him?

Kirby: I'm afraid not.

Luigi: It's too dark. I wish I had a flashlight like the one I had in my dream.

Kirby: Dream?

Luigi: Nevermind.

(A little later, they were checking the boats in the backyard when Wario came. Surprisingly, he looked worried.)

Wario: Hey guys. We have a problem.

Luigi: What?

Wario: The radio says there's gonna be some bad weather.

Bowser: Why should we believe you?

Wario: Bowser, you gotta trust me on this one.

Luigi: I am getting kinda tired. Let's take a quick rest in the house.

(Everyone walks into the house. Peach was in the kitchen listening to the radio. It wasn't music, but instead it was a weather report.)

News Man: This may be hard to believe, but there's a nasty blizzard coming toward Phillip Island! Anyone on the island should batten down the hatches quick! We're expecting at least four feet of snow!

Peach: Oh fuck! Whoops!

Luigi: WHAT! Phillip Island! That's here!

Kirby: Oh no!

Bowser: Crap! Wario was right!

Wario: I know I was.

Daisy: Mario is still out there!

Luigi: Peach, does anyone else know about this?

Peach: Well, Waluigi and D.K. are watching the Weather Channel. I'm not sure about Yoshi and Toad.

Luigi: Thanks.

Bowser: I'll check on the lightweights.

(Bowser went upstairs and into the boys' room. Yoshi and Toad were playing with Power Drinkers again.)

Bowser: Weak!

Toad: Shit! What do you want, Bowser?

Bowser: I just wanted to tell you that there's gonna be a blizzard tonight.

Toad: Blizzard? No way!

Yoshi: Did you find Mario yet?

Bowser: Not yet. We're trying t-

Luigi: Mariooooooooo!

(Yoshi, Bowser and Toad start laughing.)

Toad: Ha ha ha! What the hell was that! Ha ha ha!

Bowser: Ha ha! That's Luigi!

Yoshi: Ha ha ha! He sounds funny! Ha ha ha!

Bowser: He sure does, but I better help him.

(Bowser left.)

Toad: Why is Bowser always helping Luigi?

(Yoshi shrugs.)

Yoshi: I dunno...

(Ouside, Bowser was helping Luigi check out the docks. A wind was starting to kick up.)

Bowser: Where's Daisy and Kirby?

Luigi: They were afraid of the blizzard so they stayed in the house.

(Suddenly, a gust of wind blew Luigi's cap off. Luckily, Bowser caught it.)

Luigi: Oh shit! My cap!

Bowser: Don't worry. I got it.

(Bowser looks at Luigi's hair and laughs.)

Luigi: Wh-wha-what!

Bowser: Sorry Luigi. Your hairdo looks funny. I can see why you never take your cap off.

Luigi: Not in the presense of Princess Bitch anyway...

Bowser: Bwahahahahaha! You called Peach Princess Bitch! Huh? Oh crap!

(A really strong wind began to blow. It would have sent Luigi flying if Bowser's hufty bulk didn't shield him.)

Luigi: Thanks dude.

Bowser: Luigi! We've got to call the search off! It's way too dangerous out here!

(Bowser gave Luigi his cap, then he picks him up and ran to the house and went inside.)

Peach: Any luck?

Bowser: Nope. It's way too cold and windy out there. Luigi almost got blown away.

Luigi: That's right. We're calling off the search.

Bowser: I'm pretty sure Mario is smart enough to go inside if it gets too bad outside.

(Waluigi walks in.)

Waluigi: Hey guys. Look out the window.

(They look out the window.)

Luigi: It's...snowing! Um...let's go to bed. I'll leave the door unlocked so Mario can get back in.

(Everyone goes upstairs into the boys' room. Wario and Daisy were playing Mario Tennis. Kirby was on Daisy's head. He had her pink crown on his pink head. Yoshi and Toad were still playing Power Drinkers. D.K. just sits there.)

Kirby: Game, set and match! Daisy!

Daisy: Yay! I beat you, Wario!

Wario: Dammit! How about two out of three?

Yoshi: (for Beer) Yo Champagne. You wanna go on a date with me?

Toad: (for Champagne) Hell no, you drunk ass mother fucker!

(Toad made Champagne smack Beer.)

D.K.: This is disturbing...

Luigi: Okay guys. Time to go to bed.

Peach: Hey Luigi. Can I sleep on the bunk bed tonight? You and Daisy can sleep in Phil's room.

(Luigi and Daisy look at each other.)

Luigi: Sure. Go ahaed. Good luck with Wario's snoring. Good night.

(Luigi, Daisy, Kirby, Bowser and D.K. leave the room. Bowser and D.K. sleep in the living room. Luigi, Daisy and Kirby sleep in Phil's room. Everyone else sleep in the boys' room. Outside, Mario somehow manages to fall asleep in the hole. That guy can sleep through a plane crash. Wait a sec. In the middle of the night, Mario woke up and saw that snow had blocked the enterance to his tiny cave.)

Mario: HOLY SHIT!

End of Day 5. 


	25. The Underground Ice-skating Rink

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 25: The Underground Ice-skating Rink

Begin Day 6...

(Next morning, Luigi woke up next to Daisy. She was holding a squirming Kirby in her arms.)

Kirby: Hey Luigi. I could use some help here.

(Luigi gets kirby out of Daisy's arms.)

Kirby: Thanks. I wonder if Mario came back.

Luigi: We should check.

(They got up and checked the boys' room. Mario wasn't there, but everyone that was in there were asleep.)

Kirby: Hmm... Not in here.

(Luigi and Kirby went downstairs. Bowser was just waking up, but D.K. was still sleeping by the TV.)

Bowser: Aww...morning.

Luigi: Hey Bowser. Do you know if Mario came back in last night?

Bowser: Sorry Luigi. I didn't hear anything during the night.

Kirby: Oh dear! Look outside!

(Kirby pointed one of his flaps toward the sliding door. Luigi and Bowser looked out and saw that snow covered the entire yard. The sliding door was a few feet above the ground, but the thick snow made it look like it was only a couple of inches above the ground.)

Bowser: Man, that must've been one heck of a blizzard last night.

Kirby: You got that right.

Luigi: You don't suppose...Mario is still out there...do you?

(Later, everyone was eating waffles and watching TV in the living room. Daisy was hugging Kirby again.)

Luigi: Hey Daisy. Don't overlove the puffball.

(Kirby blushes.)

Kirby: Don't worry. I'm fine. Hey Crazy Yellow Fellow. Could you pass me the syrup?

Wario: My name is Wario, you freak!

Toad: You're the only fucking freak in here, Wario! Pass him the damn syrup!

(Wario gave Kirby the syrup.)

Kirby: Thanks, Fungi Guy, but do you always swear like that?

Toad: Fungi Guy?

Kirby: Sorry. I don't know your name.

Toad: My name is Toad. That's short for Toadstool, a kind of mushroom, and I am a mushroom. Please remember it. Okay?

Peach: D.K., would you mind washing my clothes? I'm on my last dress.

D.K.: Me? Why me?

Peach: Because you never do anything else! That's why!

D.K.: Oh fine.

Peach: Good. You'll find my clothes in a basket in Phil's room.

(D.K. went upstairs and into Phil's room, picked up a basket with pink dresses in it and carried it back down.)

D.K.: Is this the one?

Peach: Yes. Thank you.

Toad: Hey! Quit blocking the TV, you piece of shit simian!

D.K.: (to himself) Aw, quit it, you dumb mushroom...

Toad: What did you say!

D.K.: I said I need to use da bathroom.

Toad: Oh. Sorry about that.

(D.K. carried the basket into the kitchen and flipped a switch, then he started to walk down the basement stairs. He wasn't prepared for the water at the bottom however, because when he stepped onto it, his foot slipped and he slid into wall. Smack! Stars appear by D.K.'s head and his eyes spun in opposite directions.)

D.K.: Uhhh... That was one hell of a step...

(When D.K. forced his eyes to refocus, he saw that he wasn't sitting in water, but instead it was ice. Peach's clothes were also scattered everywhere.)

D.K.: How did this happen?

(D.K. tries to stand up, but he slipped and fell on his butt.)

D.K.: Aw man. It's so cold out, the water down here froze and the clothes are all over the place.

(D.K. carefully stands up and scooted across the ice to pick up the clothes.)

D.K.: Let's see...dress to the left...sock behind me...BRA ON THE STAIRS! I wonder what size Peach is anyway.

(D.K. was about to pick up the bra when he heard Peach's voice.)

Peach: D.K., what was that horrible crashing noise?

D.K.: Uh...nothing, Peach.

Peach: Okay. I got another basket of clothes at the top of the stairs so go ahead and get it.

(D.K. waited for Peach to leave, then he picked up the bra and walked up the stairs and put it in the new basket, which had Mario's red clothes in it. D.K. carried the basket down and made sure he didn't make the same mistake as last time when he got to the bottom of the stairs. D.K. was about to put the clothes in the washer when he heard another voice.)

Wario: Yo Donkey! Give me a hand with this, will ya?

(D.K. went to the top of the stairs and found Wario holding a basket of yellow shirts and purple overalls.)

D.K.: Don't call me that.

Wario: How about Mr. Kong?

D.K.: Just call me D.K., you dummy.

Wario: Well anyway, since you're being so helpful today, could you possibly wash this stuff?

D.K.: Fine...

(D.K. took the basket from Wario and went downstairs. When he got to the bottom, he heard yet another voice.)

Luigi: Hey D.K. Could you help me?

(D.K. went back upstairs and saw Luigi. He was holding a basket of mostly green shirts and blue overalls. For some reason, Luigi wasn't wearing his cap.)

D.K.: Nice hair.

Luigi: Shut up. here's my clothes. Toad's vest is in there too.

D.K.: So now we have a naked mushroom running around?

Luigi: Not exactly. Anyway, please wash my cap ASAP. I gotta look for Mario.

(Suddenly, Toad appeared with a white towel wrapped around him.)

Toad: You can't go out there. There's supposed to be a few more feet of snow on the way.

Luigi: WHAT!

(D.K. took Luigi's basket and walked halfway down, then he turned around and saw Waluigi holding an armload of purple shirts and black overalls.)

Waluigi: Um...help?

D.K.: Here. Put them in this.

(D.K. lifted Luigi's basket so Waluigi could put the clothes in.)

Waluigi: Thanks loads. Ha ha. Loads...clothes...wash. Get it?

D.K.: Just get out of here.

(Waluigi shrugs and walked into the living room. Luigi and Bowser were looking out the window.)

Waluigi: Cool hair, Luigi.

Luigi: Shut up.

Waluigi: No, I mean it. It's so...uh...er...lemme think...uh...um...I got it. It's so...er...funny looking?

(Punt!)

Waluigi: Augh! My family jewels!

Bowser: Maybe next time you'll do as he says and shut up. By the way, Luigi, nice kick.

(Back in the basement, D.K. was washimg Peach's dresses and Mario's shirts.)

D.K.: Hmm...what can I do for fun? I know! I'll go ice-skating!

(D.K. starts to slide around on the ice.)

D.K.: Wheeeee! Wheeeeee! Wheeee- Hey! I almost forgot! Aaahhh!

(Slam! D.K. slid into the dryer machine.)

D.K: Ow! Where's one of Peach's bras?

(D.K. digs in one of the baskets and pulled out a bra.)

D.K.: Size D? She doesn't look like it. All this time I thought she was a Size...never mind.

(Since D.K. had nothing better to do, he skated on the ice again. Half an hour later, the washer stopped so he took the clotes out and put them in the dryer and started it, then he put Wario's yellow shirts and Luigi's green shirts and cap into the washer and got that going. D.K. started to skate again.)

D.K.: Wheeeeeeee! Wheeeeeeeee! I'm so smart! Wheeeeeeeeee! Hey! I could make money from this! Wheeeeeeeeee!

(D.K. stopped when he heard footsteps. D.K. went to the stairs and saw Peach walking down.)

D.K.: Hey! You! You can't come down here!

Peach: Okay...why?

D.K.: Cause I got my own ice-skating rink and if you wanna use it, you gotta pay me.

Peach: What! Screw you, D.K.! I just wanted to know if my clothes were done.

D.K.: They're done when they're done. Now get out!

(Peach left.)

D.K.: Why, that no-good son-of-a... If I could only... Hmm?

(The washer and dryer stopped so D.K. took the clothes out of the dryer and put them in a basket, then he put the clothes that were in the washer into the dryer and started it. Then he put some more clothes into the washer and started it. He began to skate again, but there was a problem...)

D.K.: Dang, my feet are cold, but I gotta stay down here.

(Without even thinking, D.K. took a couple of Waluigi's shirts and wrapped them around his feet.)

D.K.: Ahhh...that's better.

(Suddenly, D.K. got an evil idea. He took one of Peach's bras and put it on, then looks at himself in a mirror.)

D.K.: (mimicking Peach's voice) Oh, I'm Peach and I'm a bimbo. Tee hee hee...

(Then D.K. put on a pair of Wario's underwear.)

D.K.: (mimicking Wario's voice) I'm Wario. I'm a fatass and I'm happy about it. Har har har!

(D.K. took Toad's vest and put it on his back since it was way too small for him to really wear it.)

D.K.: (mimicking Toad's voice) My fucking name's Toad and I have a dumbass swearing problem. Heh heh heh...

(Oh God. He even put Luigi's cap on.)

D.K.: (mimicking Luigi's voice) I'm Luigi and I play Pokemon so much, I'm thinking about changing my name to Lugia! Ha ha- Huh?

Kirby: Wow! This hot cocoa is good!

Daisy: You're right, Pink Marshmallow.

Luigi: Hmm...marshmallows. Good idea.

D.K.: Hot cocoa! Yum! I want some!

(D.K. ran upstaris and into the kitchen where everyone was enjoying hot cocoa. Bowser had a look of pride on his face.)

Bowser: Heh. And you guys said I'd overcook it.

D.K.: Hey guys. Can I have so-

(Luigi, Waluigi, Wario, Peach, and Toad glare at D.K.)

D.K.: ...What?

Luigi: Take my cap off, you son-of-a...

Peach: Aaahhh! My bra!

Toad: What the hell is my vest doing on your fucking back, Pig Fucker!

Waluigi: He using my shirts as socks! Nooooo!

Wario: Augh! You're stretching my underwear!

D.K.: Um...uh oh...

Wario: Waluigi, you hold the neck. Peach, kick him in the balls. To-

Toad: No! I kick the balls. Wario, hold the neck. Peach, grab th-

Luigi: Ah, screw it. Let's all just...

Luigi, Waluigi, Wario, Peach, & Toad: KILL HIM!

D.K.: Ah!

(The angry mob lept onto D.K. and started to pummel him. Bowser, Yoshi, Daisy and Kirby stare.)

Daisy: Erm...they're not gonna really kill him, are they?

Bowser: Naw.

Yoshi: They'll just hurt him really, really bad.

Kirby: I think we should look for Mario now... 


	26. The Search For Mario

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 26: The Search For Mario

D.K.: Ohhhh...my head.

(D.K. was lying on the couch. He had been punched, kicked, slapped, stomped on, hit in the head with a frying pan, bitten, burned, zapped and just plain hurting.)

Yoshi: D.K., you shouldn't have done that.

Kirby: How are you feeling?

D.K.: Oh, my blankity-blank...

Kirby: Hmm...not too good.

Bowser: Man Luigi. You know how to kick some ass.

Luigi: Well, he wasn't the first furry beast I fought.

Daisy: Now that D.K.'s been taken care of, can someone PLEASE look for Mario?

(Kirby stepped forward and tapped one of the little spots on his face, which are probably cheek spots.)

Kirby: I'll do it!

(Luigi stepped forward.)

Luigi: Wait a minute. This is my fault. I'm going to look for him.

(Bowser stepped forward.)

Bowser: If Luigi goes, I go.

Daisy: Right. Me too.

Waluigi: Ha ha ha! What a search party! A plumber, a princess, a puffball, and a...um... Well anyway, what a search party! Ha ha ha!

Bowser: Hey! You're going to eat those words when we bring Mario back!

Wario: Yeah right! Take a look outside! that snow is so thick, you're gonna have to tunnel through it!

(Bowser shrugs and opened the sliding door and stepped out. He sunk into the snow and hit the ground under it.)

Bowser: Dang it!

(Luigi jumps into the hole Bowser made. Daisy also jumps in, but not without grabbing Kirby first. Luigi could see that Bowser was already digging a tunnel.)

Luigi: And so the search begins...

Daisy: Yeah. In a snowy tunnel.

Kirby: Say...this reminds me of the fight with Heavy Mole.

Luigi: Who's Heavy Mole?

Daisy: In Kirby's Adventure, Heavy Mole is the boss of the fifth level, Yogert Yard. You have to follow him through a tunnel during the fight.

Kirby: How'd you know?

Daisy: I know lots of things about you, Kirby Wirby.

Luigi: Uh...let's catch up to Bowser.

(Luigi, Daisy and Kirby ran up to Bowser, who was digging like mad.)

Bowser: Diggy diggy diggy!

Luigi: Hey Bower.

Bowser: What?

Luigi: Can you tell where you're going when you're digging?

Bowser: Um...no.

Luigi: Well, that's just great.

Daisy: I got an idea. Let's get Puff n' Stuff to fly and scan the area.

Kirby: Sure. I'll do it.

Bowser: Okay. I'll dig a hole in the ceiling so he can get out.

(Bowser starts to dig in the ceiling.)

Kirby: Uh...I don't think that's a good id-

(Part of the ceiling caves in on Bowser.)

Bowser: Brr...

Kirby: I was just going to say that I'll go back and come out of the beginning of the tunnel.)

(Kirby runs away.)

Luigi: Hee hee. Bowser looks like a snow pile.

Daisy: Yeah. A snow pile with red hair and bull's horns.

Bowser: Hardy har har...now get me outta here!

(Luigi and Daisy work on getting Bowser out of the snow. It must have took awhile because Kirby came back via the hole Bowser made.)

Daisy: Any luck?

Kirby: Nope. The entire island's engulfed by snow. I can't see anything. If Mario is out here, he's most likely under the snow like we are.)

Luigi: Dang! Well, I got another idea. Bowser, can you move?

Bowser: Yeah.

Luigi: Good. Pick me up and lift me out of your hole.

Bowser: You mean...like this?

(Bowser wrapped both of his hands around Luigi's torso and lifted him so his head was out of the hole.)

Luigi: Yeah. This works. But...could you release your grip a little? I think you're cutting off the circulation to my legs and those claws are really sharp!

Kirby: That does look kinda painful...

Daisy: Yeah. Owies.

Bowser: Sorry. There you go.

Luigi: Thanks. Now cover your ears, everyone.

Bowser, Daisy, & Kirby: Hmm?

(Luigi shoved a couple fingers in his mouth and whistled a long and VERY shrill whistle. It was so loud everyone in the house heard it.)

Waluigi: Ooo...headache...

Wario: Yaaargh!

D.K.: Ah! The whistle!

Toad: What the HELL!

Peach: Ow! My ears!

Yoshi: I think Luigi's angry...

(Back outside...)

Bowser: What was that for?

Luigi: Well, if Mario's around here and if he heard that, he'll whistle back.

Daisy: And if he doesn't hear a whistle THAT loud, it means something might have happened to him, right?

Luigi: Right. Now...shhh...

Kirby: Does Luigi have Crash ability by any chance?

Daisy: Tee hee hee... You silly lil puffball.

Bowser: What's Crash?

Daisy: In Kirby's Adventure and Kirby Super Star, Crash is a one-time-use power that can wipe out all enemies on the screen. In Adventure, it looks like a bunch of flying Kirbys, but in Super Star, it looks like a big blast.

Bowser: Oooookay...

(Luigi does the whistle again.)

Bowser, Daisy, & Kirby: Ow!

Luigi: Sorry! Now be quiet! Please!

(After a few silent minutes...)

Luigi: Aw shoot. Something's wrong.

Daisy: What do we do now?

Kirby: I'm too cold...

(Daisy picks up Kirby and hugs him.)

Kirby: Er...never mind!

Bowser: God, that's cu- Hmm? Hey Luigi. Are you hungry? I think I just felt your stomach rumble.

Luigi: Now that you mention it, I could use something to eat.

Kirby: I know I'm hungry.

Luigi: But I'm not going back to the house until I find Mario! Put me down, Bowser.

(Bowser put Luigi down.)

Daisy: But Luigi, Mario could be anywhere!

(Luigi climbed onto Bowser's head and started to fiddle around with his horns.)

Luigi: Kiss this snow good-bye!

Bowser: Luigi, what are you doing up there?

(Then Bowser caught onto what Luigi was saying.)

Bowser: Bye bye, snow!

(Bowser began to use his fire breath to melt the snow. Luigi continues to play with Bowser's horns, pretending he's operating some heavy machinery.)

Kirby: Ah! Fire!

(Kirby shakes in Daisy's arms.)

Daisy: Kirby? I didn't know you were scared of fire.

Kirby: I'm not. I just don't like it when I get burned and someone says I've been turned into s'mores.

Daisy: I see... Luigi! You're supposed to PREVENT forest fires!

Luigi: Oh fine. Quit it, Bowser. I guess we'll go back to digging.

(Bowser stops his attack. Luigi starts to get off him.)

Bowser: Wait Luigi. Get back on.

Luigi: Oh yeah? What?

Bowser: I just forgot to set my fire breath to fine steam mode.

(Luigi gets back on Bowser. Bowser opens his mouth and shoots some warm steam at the snow.)

Daisy: Steam? Well...I suppose that won't set things on fire.

Kirby: And it's just as effective for melting snow as fire itself.

(A little later, Bowser melted the snow around the tree near the trampoline.)

Luigi: So, Bowser, you can set your fire breath to fine steam mode and golden brown mode...so what mode is it when you fight with Mario?

Bowser: Why, roast plumber mode, of course!

Luigi: Ha!

Kirby: Ooo...sounds nasty.

(Then, Bowser thaws out the trampoline and the pool while Luigi continued to "drive" him.)

Bowser: You know. I need a snack.

Luigi: Me too, but I'm not going in the house until I find Mario.

Daisy: Well, you boys have been working pretty hard. Why don't we go to the store for a treat?

Luigi: Now that I think about it, Mario could've hid in the store last night. Maybe he's still there. Bowser! Change direction!

(Later...again...Bowser clears the way to the club house.)

Luigi: That dang driveway has to be around here somewhere.

(Kirby flew up and looked around, then lands on Daisy and points a flap to the east.)

Kirby: It's over there.

Daisy: Good scouting, Kirby. I don't have any tomatos to give you, so I'll just hug you some more.

(Daisy grabs Kirby and hugs him again. Kirby blushes.)

Kirby: Aww Daisy. It's as cold as Shiver Star out here, but your arms are as warm as...uh...er... Okay. Romance isn't my thing.

Daisy: Don't worry. It doesn't have to be.

Kirby: Ack! Where's the others?

Daisy: Whoops! The went without us. Let's catch up with them.

(Daisy set Kirby down and they follow the cleared path until they found Luigi and Bowser about halfway down the driveway.)

Luigi: So what kind of snack should we get?

Bowser: How about jellybeans?

Luigi: Naw. We got plenty of 'em.

Bowser: What about...beef jerky?

Luigi: Nooow you're talkin'. Hmm? There you are, Daisy.

Bowser: Was Daisy hugging you again, Kirby?

Kirby: Yeah. I'm just gonna chill out over here. Okay?

(Kirby started to lean on the snow wall on the right, but when his flap touched it, some of the snow fell to the ground, revealing a hollow space.)

Kirby: What the?

Luigi, Bowser, & Daisy: Huh?

(Using his flaps, Kirby brushes some more snow and looks at his discovery.)

Kirby: It looks like...there's a hole in the hillside that we must have...overlooked.  
Luigi: Is there anything in there?

Kirby: I'll check.

(Kirby tries to brush the snow away so he could get in the hole, but appearently flaps are not a very good tool for this job so Luigi got off Bowser and did it for him. Kirby, effortlessly, walks into the hole and comes out with two Easter eggs.)

Kirby: I found a couple of eggs in there...and a big iceblock. It looks like something is in it.

Luigi: Really? Can you get it out?

Kirby: I'll do what I can.

(Kirby goes back in the hole. After Luigi, Bowser and Daisy waited for a few minutes, Kirby didn't come out. Luigi got fed up, most likely because he was cold, and just reached into the hole and pulled out an iceblock that was a little bigger than he was. Kirby was clinging to the other end.)

Kirby: Now it's moving for me!

Luigi: I got it, Kirby.

Kirby: Oh darn.

Daisy: So what is it?

Bowser: Whatever it is, it's red and blue...

(Suddenly, everyone realized what it was.)

everyone: OH NO! MARIO! 


	27. Doctor Luigi and Nurse Kirby

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 27: Doctor Luigi and Nurse Kirby

Luigi: Oh dear God! What have I done!

(Bowser was pushing the Mario iceblock back to the house. Luigi, Daisy, and Kirby trail behind.)

Kirby: It's not your fault.

Daisy: Yeah. It was just an accident.

Luigi: Whatever. Mario's gonna be pissed.

(When they got to the house, Daisy held the door open so Bowser could push the iceblock in the house. Inside, Peach, Wario, Yoshi and Toad were sitting at the table when Bowser, Luigi, Daisy and Kirby came in.)

Wario: Huh? You're back?

Toad: What the hell is that?

Yoshi: An iceblock! You guys go out to look for Mario and you come back with an iceblock!

Peach: Uh...Yoshi? I think the iceblock IS Mario.

(Waluigi and D.K. walk in. D.K. looks fine, despite the beating he got earliar.)

Waluigi: Whoa...that's not pretty...

D.K.: That's Mario!

(Luigi leaned on the iceblock.)

Luigi: I'm afraid so.

Daisy: Any idea on what to do?

Peach: Obvoiusly, you melt the ice, dumbass. Oops. I didn't mean that.

(Daisy gave Peach a dirty look.)

Peach: Sorry about that.

Bowser: I'll use my fire breath to get him out.

Luigi: What mode are you going to use on him?

Bowser: Usually, I'd use ice thaw mode, but since this is a bit of an emergency, I'll use roast plumber mode.

Luigi: Fair enough...

(Bowser started to shoot the frozen brother with a steady stream of fire. After a minute, half of the ice was gone, but it looks like Luigi's freaking out a little bit.)

Luigi: Ack!

(Bowser stops his attack.)

Bowser: What's wrong?

Luigi: You're burning Mario's leg!

(Bowser looks at Mario's right leg and saw it did get a little burnt.)

Bowser: Oops...

Luigi: I'll get rid of the rest of the ice.

(With a few swift, but powerful kicks, Luigi breaks the rest of the ice off Mario. Everyone looks at the unfortunate plumber.)

Waluigi: Dude, his face is blue.

Wario: And he ain't movi'...

Yoshi: He isn't even breathing.

Peach: This surely isn't good.

Toad: Well, don't just stand there gawking at him! Make him fucking wake up!

(Toad starts to slap Mario around.)

Toad: Live!

(Slap!)

Toad: Liiive!

(Slap!)

Toad: LIVE, DAMN YOU!

Daisy: Toad! Stop that!

Kirby: That's not how to revive people!

Bowser: Get off him!

(Bowser grabs Toad and pulls him away from Mario, then Luigi starts to do CPR on Mario.)

Bowser: That, Toad, is how you're supposed to revive someone.

Toad: Ah, screw you, you big bastard.

Luigi: C'mon Mario. Don't die on me now...

(After a few minutes of trying, Luigi finally gets the big bro to respond. Mario wakes up and coughs several times.)

Mario: Cough cough...Weegie...?

Luigi: Are you okay, Mario?

Mario: Weegie...what happened? Cough cough...

Luigi: Oh dear. Bowser, bring Mario into the living room and sit him in a chair. Someone, fill a bucket with warm water. That's WARM water, not HOT water.

(Bowser gently picked up Mario and put him in one of the chairs in the living room. Luigi carefully takes Mario's socks and shoes off.)

Mario: Cough...I feel terrible...

(Daisy brought a bucket of water into the living room. Luigi took it and put in front of Mario, then he he put his frozen feet in the warm water.)

Luigi: That isn't too hot, is it?

(Luigi dipped a finger in the water to test it.)

Luigi: Perfect.

(Everyone came into the room and sadly looked at Mario.)

Luigi: Hey guys. Don't stare at him like that. You can go back to whatever you were doing.

Wario: You mean jacking off?

Luigi: You were jacking off!

Wario: No, but Waluigi was before you came.

Waluigi: You're a lair, you sick freak!

(Luigi shakes his head.)

Luigi: Anyway, I'm gonna need one of you to stick around and help me out with Mario.

Kirby: I'll do it!

Daisy: It's just like you to volenteer, Kirby.

Luigi: Good. Thanks Kirby.

(Kirby nods.)

Luigi: Okay guys. You can go back to vacationing. Seriously though. Mario's gonna be fine.

(Everyone goes upstairs.)

Luigi: All right, Kirby. Basically, your job is to get whatever I tell you to get, because I don't want to leave Mario alone. Got it?

(Kirby does a salute.)

Kirby: Okay!

Luigi: Great. Here's your first assignment. Go upstairs and get some towels.

Kirby: All right. Here I go!

(Kirby hopped up the stairs.)

Luigi: Hey Mario. How are you feeling?

Mario: Well...cough...at least I can feel my toes...cough cough...

Luigi: Um...it's a start anyway...

(Kirby returned with some towels.)

Kirby: Here's the towels, Luigi. Oh, and I found this toy stetoscope. I used it on Yoshi and it works.

(Kirby gave Luigi the towels and the stethoscope.)

Luigi: Yeeeeh...thanks.

(Luigi put the stetoscope around his neck, then he took Mario's feet out of the water and started to dry them with one of the towels.)

Luigi: Okay Kirby. Now I need you to get a fresh pair of pajamas for Mario. I can't let him sit around in wet clothes or his condition will worsen.

(Kirby hopped up the stairs again. A minute later, Bowser came down.)

Bowser: Hey Doctor Luigi. What's up?

Luigi: Don't ask. I'm busy.

Bowser: Sorry.

(Kirby came back with a pair of Mario's pajamas.)

Kirby: Here you go!

Luigi: Thanks. Now let's see what we can do about Mario... 


	28. Waluigi's Infamous Soup

The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 28: Waluigi's Infamous Soup

Upstairs in the boys' room, Peach, Wario, Waluigi and D.K. were playing Mario Kart 64. Daisy was watching Toad and Yoshi play with Power Drinkers.) Waluigi: Playing as Luigi sucks.

D.K.: Dude! Uncalled for!

Peach: No. Luigi's voice is screwed up in this game.

Wario: What? I kinda like it. But mine is better!

Daisy: So what exactly are you and Toad doing, Yoshi?

Yoshi: Well, we are playing...

Yoshi & Toad: The Mighty Belchin' Power Drinkers!

(Bowser came in.)

Bowser: Hey guys. What are you up to in here? Gah! You guys are playing with Power Rangers again, aren't you!

Yoshi: Uh...no?

Waluigi: D'oh! Luigi sucks in this game!

Bowser: Grrr...I know Mario isn't feeling well, but if he was in here, he'd tell Wario to stop being lazy, Waluigi to quit being such an insentitive dork, D.K. to never wear other peoples' clothes again, Peach to stop being a bimbo and Toad and Yoshi to find something better to do. Daisy, you're cool.

(Waluigi leers at Bowser, then he threw his controller at him. Smack!)

Bowser: That didn't hurt...

Waluigi: I'm bored! I'm going downstairs!

(Waluigi left the boys' room and went downstairs. In the living room, Bowser had folded out the couch so it was a bed and put Mario, who was now in his pajamas, on it. Kirby was sitting on one of the chairs and awaiting his next task. Luigi stood next to the bed with his arms folded and his foot tapping. He was deep in thought.)

Bowser: My my, Luigi. You look more focused then usual this evening.

Mario: Hey Weegie...cough cough...I'm hungry...

Kirby: Should I make something for Mario to eat, Luigi?

(Luigi doesn't anwser.)

Waluigi: Hey Luigi! What's going on here!

Luigi: What? What is THAT supposed to mean! It's pretty damn obvoius what's going on here!

(Luigi points to his ill brother.)

Luigi: Just for that, you have to make some chicken noodle soup for Mario. Go on! Into the kitchen with you!

(Luigi shoves Waluigi into the kitchen.)

Waluigi: Ah fine. This will give me something to do for awhile. Now where's the chicken noodle soup?

(Waluigi looks through all the cupboards, but he couldn't find any of the soup.)

Waluigi: Peas, pears, peaches, green beans, baked beans, corn, cream corn, asparagus... Dammit! There isn't any chicken noodle soup. Oh well. I'll just use my own recipe.

(Back in the living room...)

Luigi: Kirby, while Waluigi is making the soup, you pick out a video for Mario to watch. He's probably getting bored just lying there.

Kirby: Okay!

(Kirby hopped over to the shelf where the videos were and picked out out.)

Kirby: Does this look good to you, Mario?

(Kirby held up a Berenstein Bears video.)

Mario: Cough cough...yeah...cough cough...just fine...

(Kirby gave Luigi the video and he started it for Mario. About halfway through the video, Waluigi came in with a piping hot bowl of soup.)

Waluigi: Hey Mario. Dinnertime.

Luigi: I'll take that. Thanks Waluigi.

(Luigi took the spoon and bowl of soup from Waluigi. He didn't notice that the soup was brownish purple or the fact that it did NOT smell like chicken noodle soup. Luigi scooped up some of the soup with the spoon and held it in front of Mario's face.)

Luigi: Here's dinner Mario. Open up!

(Mario turned away and refused to open his mouth.)

Luigi: Aw c'mon Mario. I thought you said you was hungry.

Mario: I...don't...cough cough...want it...!

Bowser: Are you sure?

Mario: Cough cough...positive...

Luigi: I know Waluigi made it, but it can't be as bad as Peach's cooking? Yes? No?

Bowser: Well, there's no use in forcing Mario to eat.

Luigi: I got an idea. I'll taste test it and Mario can make hs decision based on my opinion about the soup.

Bowser: Fair enough...

Kirby: Sounds good to me.

Luigi: Okay then. Let's go.

(Luigi scooped up some of the soup with the spoon nd slurped it up. He chews few times then, with his mouth still full, he franticlly runs around, searching for a trash can. When he finally finds one, he spit the soup in it.)

Kirby: Uh oh. Not good...

Luigi: Good Lord! That's disgusting!

(Luigi spits into the trash can a few times.)

Bowser: Uh...Waluigi? What was in that soup?

Luigi: Yeah. What kind of garbage did you try to make my brother eat?

Waluigi: Welll...first there's spagetti noodles. I figured Mario liked spagetti so I thought it'd work out alright. Then there's BBQ chicken because you can't have chicken noodle soup without the chicken and the only kind of chicken we had was BBQ. There's also orange juice. Orange juice is good for colds. Lastly, there's a crumbled up childen's vitamin.

Kirby: Gross!

Bowser: Dude! This soup makes Peach look like a good cook!

Luigi: Waluigi, if I wasn't such a nice guy, I'd kick your ass. Now get out of my sight before I change my mind!

(Waluigi screams like a girl and runs away.)

Luigi: Kirby, get rid of the soup.

(Kirby did what he was told.)

Bowser: I'm gonna make dinner for everyone tonight. Okay Luigi?

Luigi: Okay. Thanks Bowser. 


	29. Freaky Dreams!

Chapter 29: Freaky Dreams!

(In the kitchen, Wario, Waluigi, Peach and Daisy were eating grilled cheese sandwiches.)

Peach: How nice of Bowser to make dinner for us.

Wario: Yeah. Since you suck at cooking...

Peach: Pardon?

Wario: I said Waluigi sucks at cooking. Did Bowser tell you about the soup Waluigi made for Mario?

(Waluigi folds his arms and turns his back to everyone.)

Peach: Yeah. That sounds just as bad as the drink Luigi made for Yoshi in Truth or Dare.

Daisy: Speaking of Luigi, I sure hope he doesn't worry about Mario too much. I know sometimes he worries about someone so much, he forgets to take care of himself!

(In the living room, Bowser and Kirby were also eating grilled cheese sandwiches. Bowser had given Mario a bowl of tomato soup, which proved to be quite delicious. Luigi already finished his dinner and was reading a very familiar story to Mario.)

Luigi: Mario says "You guys! We have to find Luigi!". Waluigi says "Find...Luigi?". Wario says "Dude, he drowned. You saw what happened. He was a goner." Mario says "I don't think so. I bet the waves took him to some island. Maybe even the one we were going to.".

(Daisy walked into the living room and tapped Luigi on the shoulder, but he didn't notice.)

Luigi: Mario looks around and saw something in the distance. Mario says "There's one to the south. Let's look for Luigi there. Wario, turn that way.". Wario says "You're not the boss."

Daisy: Um...Luigi?

Luigi: Mario says "Turn that way or I'll turn you into an icecube!". Waluigi says "Speaking of ice, how did you get ice breath?". Mario says "You mean Freeze Blaster? I've known that for about a month-

Bowser: Hey Luigi.

Luigi: What?

Bowser: I think Daisy's trying to get your attention.

Luigi: Oh. Hey Daisy. Sorry about that.

Daisy: Luigi! You're doing it again! You're so worried about Mario that you forgot about everything else...including yourself!

Luigi: Okay okay. I'm paying attention to you now.

Daisy: Just to keep you up to date, it is currently night and I am going to bed. By the way, Mario fell asleep.

(Luigi looked at Mario and saw that the sick sibling had dozed off.)

Luigi: Whoops. Heh heh. Sorry.

Daisy: Don't blame yourself. You're just trying to be a good little brother. There's nothing wrong with that. Anyway, good night, Luigi.

(Daisy gave Luigi a kiss on the cheek, then she headed upstairs.)

Luigi: Good night, Daisy...

(Luigi looked around and sighs.)

Luigi: Kirby.

Kirby: Yeah?

Luigi: Keep Daisy company.

Kirby: What? You mean-

Luigi: Yes. Go sleep with Daisy tonight.

Kirby: But what about Mario?

Luigi: Don't worry. I'll still be here.

Kirby: Oh okay. Good night.

(Kirby bounced up the stairs. The only ones in the living room now were Luigi, Bowser, and the sleeping Mario.)

Bowser: Well, Luigi. What are you going to do now?

Luigi: I'm going to stay awake and make sure Mario will be okay.

Bowser: Okay...WHAT!

Luigi: That's right. You heard me. I'm sitting down right here and I'm gonna make sure nothing happens to Mario.

(Luigi sat down on a chair next to Mario.)

Bowser: Dang Luigi. I think Daisy's right. You do worry too much. Don't you care about your own health and well-being?

(Luigi folds his arms.)

Luigi: I'm fine, Bowser. You just try and get some sleep.

Bowser: Oh. All right. Sorry to bother you. Good night.

(Roughly fifteen minutes later, Luigi sat in the living room...alone. Bowser fell asleep in a corner and Mario was sound asleep in bed. Mario wasn't snoring as loudly as usual. In fact, it was quiet...too quiet.)

Luigi: Believe me, Mario. I'm staying awake for you.

(Half an hour later...)

Luigi: Still awake...I'm still awake...

(And without realizing it, Luigi drifted into a deep sleep and began to have a dream...)

Luigi: Ah crap...not again.

(Luigi was in a dark mansion hallway. He had a flashlight in his hand and a vacuum cleaner on his back. He also had a confused look on his face.)

Luigi: Um...kay. There's lots of doors in this hallway and I currently have no key. What should I do in a case like this? Heh. I might as well try to open all the doors until I find one that isn't locked. The door to the right looks like a good place to start.

(Luigi went to open the door, but as soon as he turned the handle, the door flung open and flattened Luigi!)

Luigi: Ow! Dog...gone it!

(Some ghosts giggle. When Luigi was able to unflatten himself, he shook a fist in the air.)

Luigi: Screw you!

(Luigi began to make his way through the hall, checking all the doors. Soon, he came across a bunch of ghost mice. Luigi busted out the vacuum and started to suck them up.)

Luigi: Diiiiiiiiiie! Wait. They're already dead...DIIIIIIIIIIE!

(After sucking up a few ghost mice, Luigi got to the other side of the hall. He put the vacuum away and whipped out the flashlight.)

Luigi: Hey. I think I'm getting the hang of this. Eh...what was the vacuum called again?

(There was a beeping noise and Luigi pulled out something that looked like a GBC. Luigi pressed a button on it and the image of some crazy doctor guy appeared on the screen.)

E. Gadd (the crazy guy): It's called the Poltergust 3000, you idiot!

Luigi: Be quiet, you old fogey! I don't need you!

(Luigi hurled the Game Boy thingy at a door that was covered with steel thorns and it broke in half.)

Luigi: Good! Now that dumb faggot can't bug me again!

(Luigi tried to open the door closest to him. Luckily, it opened and he went in. Luigi looked around, seemingly puzzled.)

Luigi: Hmm...this must be the bathroom. There doesn't seem to be any ghosts in here though...

(Luigi didn't notice the fact that a white ghost appeared behind him and inched it's way closer and closer to him.)

Luigi: Maybe I have to shake the furniture in here. That shelf looks kinda su-

(Suddenly, the ghost grabbed both of Luigi's arms, leaving quite unprotected, then another ghost got Luigi's neck.)

Luigi: Ack! Nooooooooooo!

(Luigi jolted awake.)

Luigi: AAAAAHHHHH!

(Luigi pulled something off his neck so quickly that he fell out of his chair and landed on the floor. Luigi was stunned for a moment and when he regained his senses, he looked at what he thought was attacking him, realized his mistake, and put a hand over his racing heart.)

Luigi: Oh, lordy. It was just the stethoscope Kirby gave me earl air.

Mario: Yeah...cough...why don't you use it for once...cough cough.

Luigi: Huh? You're awake?

Mario: Cough...the way you scream, Weegie...cough cough...I'm surprised Bowser's still asleep...cough...

Luigi: I'm terribly sorry. I was trying to stay awake and I guess I fell asleep and had a nightmare.

Mario: Why are you staying awake...cough...

Luigi: To make sure you're A-OK. Why else?

Mario: Weegie...cough...you worry about yourself...cough cough...on second thought...cough...since you care about me so much...cough cough...you can put that damn stethoscope to some use...

(Luigi shrugs and sighs.)

Luigi: Nah...I don't wanna worry too much.

(Luigi tosses the stethoscope aside. It hit Bowser in the head, but he didn't seem to notice. Luigi sat down on the chair, folded his arms, and stared at the floor. Mario knew this wasn't the time to argue and he fell asleep.)

Luigi: Atta boy, Mario. Get some sleep.

(Half an hour later...)

Luigi: I'm still awake, bro. I'm still awake.

(And Luigi fell asleep again. When he opened his eyes, he saw he was in a cloudy place with lots of rainbows and stars.)

Luigi: Heeeeeyyyy...cooooool... I like this place.

(A little pink bear with a picture of a rainbow on its white tummy walked up to Luigi and tugged on his sleeve.)

Luigi: What do you want? Eeeeek! Yo-you're...ch...cha...che...

Cheer Bear: Hi! I'm Cheer Bear. Ya know...one of the Care Bears. Welcome to Care-A-Lot!

Luigi: I...um...uh...

CB: What's wrong? Cat got your tongue? You look like you need some cheering up.

(A mint-green lamb walked up to Luigi. She had a picture of a heart-shaped pillow on her tummy.)

CB: Perhaps Gentle Heart Lamb can help.

Gentle Heart Lamb: Is there something to want to talk to us about?

Luigi: Now that I think about it, I really like you Care Bears and Care Bear Cousins. I really do. It's just my friends make fun of me because of it.

GHL: Well isn't that just a bunch of bull shit.

Luigi?

CB: What the hell is wrong with your friends!

Luigi: I don't know!

CB: Screw those dumbasses!

GHL: Yeah! Just fucking leave them!

Luigi: I can't very well leave my brother.

CB: I see...

Luigi: Hey, where's Bedtime Bear? He's the coolest!

GHL: Bedtime Bear, huh? He's over there.

(Gentle Heart Lamb points to the left. There was a napping blue bear with a moon in its tummy.)

Luigi: He looks so...huggable!

(Luigi ran over to the snoozing bear, picked him up and started to hug him and hug him and hug him some more, then suddenly... Luigi woke up and saw that he was hugging Mario, who didn't seem very happy about the idea.)

Mario: Hey Weegie...cough...what are ya doing!

Luigi: Huh? Oh my God!

(Luigi let go.)

Luigi: I'm so sorry, Mario! I don't know what came over me!

Mario: Cough...that's okay. I know you're...cough cough...worried about me. I don't mind being hugged...cough. But next time, don't squeeze so hard, okay? Cough...

Luigi: Okay. I'll keep that in mind. Now close your eyes and get some sleep. Good night.

(Half an hour later, Mario fell asleep.)

Luigi: I am NOT making the same mistake three times!

(Luigi got his CD player and SM64 CD.)

Luigi: I'll listen to this entire thing if that's what it takes to keep me awake!

(And it seemed to work...for awhile. While listening to Piranha's Lullaby, Luigi accidentally hit the repeat button so the same hypnotic song played over and over. Luigi, of coarse, fell asleep once again. Little did he know that he'll have an enjoyable dream this time. When Luigi opened his eyes, he saw he was in a town that looked like a mini Las Vegas.)

Luigi: Oooookay...where am I now?

(Luigi looked around and saw a huge neon sign that said GREEDVILLE.)

Luigi: This ought to be interesting!

(Luigi walked to the center of town and saw a big statue of Wario. There was a button on the base. Luigi pressed it and it started to sing.)

statue: Waaaaar-eeeeeeeee-ooooooooooh! Wario Wario Wario! Waaariiiooooo! Cough...hack...wheeze...

Luigi: What the?

(Then, Wario himself showed up.)

Wario: Wellllllcome toooo my town! Elegant...lovely...ain't it? C'mon! Time's a wastin'! Blah blah blah...

Luigi: Hmm...

(Luigi pokes Wario's belly.)

Wario: What do I look like! Some kind of button!

Luigi: Hee hee hee...

(Poke!)

Wario: What do I look like! Some kind of button!

Luigi: Hee hee hee...

(Poke!)

Wario: What do I look like! Some kind of button!

Luigi: Hee hee hee...

(Repeat about 20 more times...)

Wario: STOP DOING THAT ALREADY!

Luigi: Okay. Let's see what this town has to offer.

(Luigi saw a purple building with a sign that said WARIO MART.)

Luigi: I wonder what kind of junk is in there...

(Luigi went inside the Wario Mart, then Wario ran in and whipped out a microphone.)

Wario: Is this thing on? Oh! Heh heh. Attention Wario Mart shoppers! Everything we have is top quality merchandise! The best! Yooooou can trust meeeee!

Luigi: No. I don't trust you!

Wario: Shut up and look around!

Luigi: This stuff doesn't look like "top quality merchandise" to me...

Wario: What does this look like! Mario's Mini Mart! Hurry up! By the way, you're gonna need Wario Bucks if you wanna buy anything.

Luigi: I never said I was buy any of this junk.

Wario: Oy...window shoppers...BAH!

Luigi: Ah, shut up!

(Wario points a finger at Luigi.)

Wario: You...are trying...my patience...

Luigi: Shut your cakehole before I kick ya squah' in th' nuts!

Wario: I've got other b-

(Punt!)

Wario: Oooooh...cleanup in aisle 3...uggghhhhh...

(Wario fell to the ground and covered his nads. Luigi laughed to himself and went outside. He looked around and went next door to Wario's Arcade.)

Luigi: Let's see what kind of entertainment I can find in here.

(Luigi went inside Wario's Arcade, but before he could look at the games, Wario ran in.)

Wario: Step right up! Sure, you're old enough, but are you booooold enough to enter Wario's amazing arcade!

Luigi: What a stupid question! Of coarse I'm bold enough!

Wario: Just pick a game, you turd!

(Luigi looked at the three available games. There was Dunk Tank, which looked with the well known hit-the-target-with-a-ball-to-drop-someone-in- the-water type of game. Second, there was Crazy Caps, which has three of Wario's hats and a coin. Lastly, there was Grab Bag, which was the classic crane game.)

Luigi: I'll start with a game of Crazy Caps.

Wario: Excellent choice, dude! Step right this way!

(Wario went behind the counter for Crazy Cap and showed Luigi the coin.)

Wario: All right. I'm sure you can figure this out. I put the coin under one of the hats and I shuffle them around. All you have to do is guess which hat the coin is under.

Luigi: Okie dokie.

(Wario put the coin under a hat and started to shuffle them around.)

Wario: I'm-a so cool! Heeeeey! Okay. Pick a hat.

Luigi: The one in the middle if you don't mind.

(Wario lifted the hat and...lo and behold! There's the coin!

Wario: C'mon! Double or nothing! That's my only offer!

Luigi: Okay.

(Wario put the coin under a different hat and shuffled them around.)

Wario: I'm-a so cool. Heeeeey! All right. Take your pick.

Luigi: That one.

(Wario lifted the hat Luigi pointed at...and there's the coin again!)

Wario: C'mon! Double or nothing! That's my only offer!

(A few minutes later...)

Luigi: I just won ten times in a row! I want my 512 coins!

Wario: C'mon! Double or nothing! That's my only offer!

(Wario did the same old thing again.)

Wario: I'm-a so cool. Heeeeey. Okay now. Pick the one you want.

Luigi: The one to your right.

(Wario lifted the hat...but there's no coin! Wario lifted the hat in the middle and the coin was there.)

Wario: Ha ha! I didn't think you were as smart as me!

Luigi: Drat!

Wario: Thank you for playing! Here's 10 Wario Bucks! Aren't I generous? (quickly) Now go buy something from my store!

(Wario holds out a dollar bill with his face on it. Luigi takes it and shrugs.)

Luigi: Now I'll play Dunk Tank.

Wario: No problem, bub!

(Wario went behind the counter for Dunk Tank and got on a platform above a tank of water.)

Wario: Your goal is to use that slingshot thingy to hit the target with balls. Simple!

Luigi: Fair enough...

(Luigi shoots, but misses.)

Wario: Your aim's not so good! Heh heh HEH heh heh!

(Luigi takes another shot and missed.)

Wario: You're no Randy Johnson!

Luigi: Who in the world is Randy Johnson?

Wario: I dunno. I just thought that sounded cool.

(Luigi makes another unsuccessful shot.)

Wario: You missed me! You missed me! Please do not kiss me! Heh heh heh...

Luigi: I'm gonna...wait a sec. Did you say do NOT kiss you?

Wario: That's what I said all right!

Luigi: Well, maybe you're not as stupid as I thought...

(Twenty missed shots later...)

Wario: Your aim's not so good! Heh heh HEH heh heh!

Luigi: Shut UP!

Wario: You missed me! You mi-

(Ping! Luigi hit the target dead center. The platform Wario was on fell out from under him and he fell in the water. Wario climbed out, gave Luigi a dirty look, then handed him another bill.)

Wario: Well, here's 10 Wario Bucks for being lucky...

(Luigi took the money.)

Wario: Now how about Grab Bag, huh? I can't bug you there!

Luigi: Okay!

(The two go over to the crane game-like Grab Bag.)

Wario: This is so easy, even a complete retard like Peach can figure it out. You simply use the arrow keys to move the crane and the red button to drop it.

Luigi: Heh. Okay.

(Luigi hit a few buttons and positioned the crane over a very fine looking prize, a diamond, and hit the red button.)

Luigi: Yeah! I just got a di- Ack! It fell!

Wario: Oooooh...whoops! Too bad!

Luigi: Ah crap.

Wario: Hoo boy...you didn't get anything! I'll give you one more try...

Luigi: All right then.

(This time, Luigi tries to grab a little ghost thingy with a key for a nose. However, he missed and got a smelly old sock instead.)

Wario: Oooo...oh so nice! What a great prize! I bet Maaaaaarioooo would really like it too!

(Luigi looked at the prize he got and burst out laughing. His laughter quickly ended when he felt a heavy hand slap his left cheek. Luigi opened his eyes and saw Mario glaring at him.)

Mario: Cough cough...it's okay that you stay awake tonight...cough...but keep laughing like that and you'll wake up everyone in the house! Cough cough...

Luigi: ...Did you just hit me?

Mario: Cough...yeah.

Luigi: For being sick, you sure do hit pretty hard.

(Mario was quiet for a minute.)

Mario: Just remember what I said. Cough...

Luigi: In fact, you know what? Screw it. I'm not gonna try to stay awake anymore. I think it's giving me nightmares.

(Before Mario could say a word, Luigi snuggled up with him and fell asleep...)


	30. Phil Calls In

Chapter 30: Phil Calls In

(Next morning in Phil's room, Daisy woke up and saw Kirby standing on the end of the bed.)

Kirby: Good morning, Daisy.

Daisy: Hi Cutiepuff.

Kirby: Did you sleep well last night?

Daisy: Yeah. Just fine. Thanks.

Kirby: Uh oh. I hope Luigi is okay. He said that he was gonna stay awake and watch over Mario.

Daisy: ...WHAT?

Kirby: Well, apparently Luigi felt guilty about Mario being sick so he decided to look after him during the night.

Daisy: Ah, darn it. I guess we better check on him.

(Daisy and Kirby went downstairs and into the living room. They saw Mario and Luigi sleeping on the bed and hugging each other. Bowser was standing near the bed. He was looking at the bros with his arms folded.)

Daisy: Good morning, Bowser.

Bowser: Oh Hello, Daisy.

Daisy: Is Luigi okay?

Bowser: Sigh...I'm not sure. The poor guy... He turned into a nervous wreck last night. He said something about having weird dreams.

Kirby: Dreams? Really?

Bowser: Yeah. Oh, and if you know what's good for you, don't wake him up. He said that he wants to sleep in and if anyone disturbs him, he'll rip their spine out and slap them in the face with it.

Daisy: Dude, getting a little hostile, huh?

Kirby: Whoa... He must've had some nightmares!

(Suddenly, there was a strange beeping noise.)

Kirby: What was that?

(The beeping sounds again, then Peach ran out of the kitchen.)

Peach: I'll get it!

(Peach picks up Luigi's phone from a nearby table, pressed a button, then talks into it.)

Peach: Hello?

Phil: Hi. This is Phil. May I ask who's speaking?

Peach: Oh. Hello Phillip. This is Peach.

Phil: Good morning, your majesty. It's nice to hear a bit from you, but is Luigi there?

Peach: He's asleep right now.

Phil: Well then. How about Mario?

Peach: Eh, he's sick... I mean he's dead... I mean...

Phil: He's what?

Peach: Asleep. Yeah. He's asleep too. Most of us are. It's only nine in the morning, you know.

Phil: Oh. I really need to talk to Luigi.

Peach: Okay. I'll wake him up for you.

(Peach walks toward Luigi.)

Bowser: Uh...Peach? I don't think you wanna...

(Peach sat down on top of Luigi. Obviously, he woke up and NOT in a good mood!)

Luigi: Get your ass off me or I'll punch you in the neck!

Peach: Geez Laweez, Luigi. I just woke you up because you had a phone call.

Daisy: Talk about getting a rough start...

Kirby: Yeah. One bad night can do a lot to a person, you know.

Bowser: Peach, you better get your fat butt off Luigi before he really does hit you.

(Peach got off Luigi, then he rips the phone out of Peach's hand.)

Luigi: Who the hell is this?

Phil: Hey, Luigi. This is Phil.

Luigi: Oh. Hey. What's up?

Phil: I just called to ask how the vacation is going.

Luigi: Uh...fine...just fine...

Phil: Okay. Are you guys doing a lot of stuff or are you just chilling out?

Luigi: Um...a little bit of both.

Phil: That's good. Anyway, I got a little concerned when I heard that a blizzard hit the island. Is everyone alright?

(Luigi looked at Mario. He was sleeping like nothing had ever happened. Luigi itched his ear. That is, the one he wasn't listening to Phil with.)

Luigi: Uh...sure. Everything's okie dokie...

Phil: Well, that's a relief. If anyone got stuck out there, they would have been turned into an ice cube if you know what I mean.

(Luigi tugs on the collar of his shirt.)

Luigi: Eh...yeah...that would be bad... By the way, we've got a couple more vacationers over here.

Phil: More friends? Who are they?

Luigi: Well, there's Daisy. I'm sure you know who she is. And there's Kirby. (whispering) He's a bit of an out-of-towner, but he's fitting in just fine.

Phil: I already know about your girlfriend, but I don't think I've heard of Kirby before. I'll have to meet him when I come home in a week.

Luigi: A week? Okaaay...

Phil: Is there anything else you need to tell me?

Luigi: Um...no...not really...

Phil: Okay then. I'll jus-

(There was the faint sound of something breaking on Phil's end.)

Luigi: What the hell was that?

Phil: Hang on a sec. Boys! Break one more thing and you'll be paying for it with your own money! Okay. I'm back.

Luigi: Phil, where are you?

Phil: We're at the toy store. The boys wanted to get some stuff here.

Luigi: I see... Well, tell them not to get any Power Rangers.

Phil: Okay. Why?

Luigi: Uh... (quickly) Can't explain now! Gotta go! Bye!

(Beep!)

Luigi: God damn asshole...

Daisy: Who was that?

Luigi: Ah, that was just Phil. He's the guy that owns the island. He heard about the blizzard and wanted to know if we were alright.

Daisy: And?

Luigi: I told him everything's fine.

Kirby: But what about Mario?

(Kirby points a flap at the, still sleeping, brother.)

Luigi: Alright alright. I didn't Phil about that, but I'm willing to admit that it's my fault Mario's like this. Seriously, he's my problem, not yours. So just back off, okay?

Daisy & Kirby: Fine...

Peach: Breakfast is almost ready. Can someone go upstairs and wake up everyone?

Bowser: I'll do it. But just for Luigi.

Luigi: Yeah. Thanks, Bowser.


	31. Pet Names

Chapter 31: Pet Names

(Later after breakfast, Wario, Waluigi, Daisy and Kirby were hanging out in the boys' room.)

Wario: Dude, did you see Luigi at breakfast?

Waluigi: Yeah. He didn't look very good.

Wario: Like he stayed awake at night or something...

Daisy: In case you didn't know, Luigi did try to stay awake last night to watch over Mario, but he had some weird dreams.

Kirby: Yeah. The poor guy...

Wario: Hey, Daisy. You're supposed to be Luigi's girlfriend, right? Why do you keep hanging around that...pink thing?

Daisy: Because Puff n' Stuff's so huggably cute!

(Daisy hugs Kirby.)

Waluigi: And you keep calling him stuff like Puffy Wuffy and Pink Marshmellow. I never heard you give Luigi a pet name.

Wario: Before Kirby came, you said that Luigi was "huggably cute." Are you dissing Luigi?

Waluigi: Oh man! I'm gonna tell Luigi that Daisy's two-timing him!

Daisy: Waluigi! No!

(In the living room, Luigi and Bowser were watching over Mario who was awake now. D.K. was watching TV.)

Luigi: I'm so fucking tired...

(D.K. looked at Luigi.)

D.K.: Dude, you look like Waluigi.

Luigi: I have a pink nose. Waluigi doesn't!

D.K.: No you don't.

Bowser: Waluigi has a pink nose.

Luigi: ...Yeah. Waluigi does, but I don't. And THAT'S the key differ-

(Suddenly, there was some yelling, then crashing, then Daisy and Waluigi fell down the stairs!)

Bowser: Well, speak of he devil!

(Daisy starts to choke Waluigi, Homer Simpson-style.)

Daisy: Why you little! How dare you call me a two-timing whore!

Luigi: ?

Mario: How...cough...disturbing...

Bowser: Whoa...

D.K.: Yeah! Whack that Stick Figure, Daisy!

(Daisy let go of Waluigi and started to hug Luigi.)

Daisy: (quickly) Oh, Luigi! You know I'd never dump you, right? I mean, you're my best friend in the whole wide world!

Luigi: Wha...?

(Daisy squeezes Luigi a little bit.)

Daisy: (quickly and high-pitched) You're the coolest pal ever! Why would I wanna two-time you, huh? Aw, c'mon, buddy!

Luigi: What's going on?

(Daisy squeezes even harder.)

Daisy: (she now sounds like a chipmunk on a sugar buzz) You believe me, don't you? Oh buddy? Oh pal? Huh? Waluigi's full of crap! You know that, right?

(By now, Daisy was squeezing Luigi so hard, he could barely breathe.)

Bowser: Hey, Daisy! Let go of Luigi before he passes out!

(Luigi somehow manages to pry Daisy away from him.)

Luigi: What in the world is going on here, Daisy?

Daisy: Waluigi was trying to tell everyone that I was two-timing you with Kirby.

Bowser: Crunch...

Daisy: Just because I gave Kirby a few pet names, it doesn't mean that I like him more than you.

(Daisy gives Luigi the "sad puppy eyes.")

Daisy: You believe me, don't you, Weegiepoo?

(Everyone but Luigi starts laughing.)

Luigi: WHAT?

Daisy: Hee hee...sorry! I've always wanted to say that!

Luigi: That's NOT funny!

D.K.: Yes it is! Ha ha!

Daisy: Weegiepoo!

(Everyone laughs again.)

Daisy: Sorry! It just sounds so cute!

Bowser: I agree.

Luigi: I think it sounds gross...

Mario: Cough...it sounds like the lady's in love with you...cough...so enjoy it while you can...

Luigi: Hmm... I never thought about that.

Mario: By the way...cough...

Luigi: What?

Mario: Cough...Weegiepoo!

(Everyone laughs once again.)

Luigi: Grrrrrr...

Daisy: Hee hee...you're so cute when you do that.

(Luigi mutters something to himself.)

Mario: Okay...cough...better stop making fun of Weegie...

Bowser: Yeah. We all know what happens when he gets mad enough. (to himself) He can be a real berserker...heh heh...

D.K.: Oookay. So what were we doing before we were so rudely interrupted with the "Weegiepoo" bit?

Luigi: Don't ask me. I'm trying to take care of Mario. Remember?

D.K.: I'm bored. I'm gonna watch TV in here if you don't mind.

Luigi: Go ahead. But don't watch Blue's Clues!

Daisy: Don't watch Blue's Clues? Why not?

Luigi: It's a little hard to explain...

(While Luigi was trying to tell Daisy why you shouldn't watch preschool TV shows about blue puppies that like to play games, Mario was starting to squirm around in the bed.)

Mario: Cough...Weegie. I have to pee...

(Luigi didn't hear Mario.)

Mario: Weegie...cough...I gotta...um...urinate...cough...

(Luigi still didn't notice.)

Mario: DAMMIT, WEEGIEPOO! I NEED TO TAKE A SHIT! Cough...hack...wheeze...

(Bowser, Daisy and D.K. laugh.)

Luigi: Mario that was totally unnecessary!

Mario: Cough...but I gotta go to the bathroom really bad...

Luigi: Why didn't you tell me sooner? Bowser, you know what to do.

Bowser: Roger.

(Bowser carefully lifted Mario out of bed and carried him up the stairs. On his way, Bowser stepped on Waluigi, who had been laying on the floor since Daisy choked him.)

Waluigi: Urk! Hey, man! Don't step on me! I passed out!

(Luigi sat down in a chair, folded his arms, and closed his eyes.)

D.K.: What are you up to, Luigi?

Luigi: Oh, plotting and scheming. Scheming and plotting. You know, the usual thing.

D.K.: Eh?

Luigi: Um...never mind...

(Bowser returned downstairs while carrying Mario. Since Waluigi was still on the floor, Bowser accidentally stepped on him again.)

Bowser: Pee-yoo!

Luigi: What's wrong?

Bowser: Dudes, if you value your life, don't go in the bathroom during the next hour. Seriously! Mario took one wicked dump in there!

Mario: Cough...I don't think Peach's scrambled eggs agreed with me...

Luigi: Ew. I'm not even gonna go there.

Toad: Holy fucking shit! What the hell is that stench? It smells like ass in here!

(Luigi, Daisy, Kirby and D.K. looked at the ceiling, then at Bowser, who was smiling a little bit.)

Luigi: Whoa...not good...

Daisy: Forgot to tell the other guys, eh Bowser?

Bowser: Um...yup!

D.K.: I'll take care of it this time.

(D.K. went upstairs, but...crunch! Waluigi got stepped on again!)

Waluigi: Yowch! Dammit! Quit stepping on me, ya heavyweights!

Mario: Hey, Daisy...cough... Maybe you oughta call me "Mariopoo" for awhile, huh?

Daisy: I think not. I happen to like Weegiepoo just fine.

(Daisy hugs Luigi. Bowser laughs a little bit.)

Luigi: D'oh! Don't call me that! I mean it! The next person that calls me that will get a beating from me!

Waluigi: Really? Ho ho! I'm gonna tell everyone about this!

(Luigi leers at Waluigi as the evil fellow stumbles upstairs.)

Bowser: Just let him go, Luigi. It's past lunchtime anyway. I think I'll go cook the fishsticks I saw in the freezer.

Luigi: Yeah. Thanks, Bowser. You sure are a big help...


	32. Joking Around

Chapter 32: Joking Around

(Everyone except for Mario and Luigi were sitting in the kitchen eating fishsticks and Sloppy Joes and discussing any plans that they may have.)

Peach: So...what does everyone have planned for today?

Wario: I totally want to go in the pool again, but I see that the snow is still here.

Waluigi: Agreed. I want to start the Clubhouse Games back up. This snow fucked up everything.

Yoshi: So true. I wanted to go to the store today.

Bowser: This snow can't last forever, right? I mean, that'd be ridiculous.

Daisy: We should check the weather on TV. Maybe it'll say when things will get back to normal.

Toad: Considering all the bad luck we've been having lately, I doubt it.

(Bowser, Daisy and Toad leave the table and go into the living room where Mario and Luigi were. Luigi was feeding fishsticks to Mario, but he wasn't eating anything himself.)

Luigi: Blargh...I feel like shit...

Daisy: What's wrong, Weegiepoo? Have an upset stomach? Maybe you should take some Pe-

Luigi: Stop calling me that!

Daisy: Sorry. Just asking a question.

Luigi: It's not my stomach. I'm feeling down I guess. I just can't seem to get any energy going today. I usually only feel like this on rainy days though.

Daisy: Well...it's probably because you stayed up last night.

Bowser: Actually Daisy. It is raining right now.

(While Luigi and Daisy were talking, Bowser had turned the TV on and was looking at a weather report. The forecast clearly shows rain. Of course one could also look out the window and see the water as well.)

Toad: Well I'll be damned.

(Everyone came in and heard the news.)

Yoshi: Yay! It's raining! We can go outside again soon!

Wario: Oh really? How do you figure?

Yoshi: The rain will get rid of the snow. Right? Or am I missing something?

Wario: First of all, there sure is a lot of snow out there. Assuming that there's even enough rain to melt it all in the first place, we'll have a nice wet mess for awhile. Seeing as, you know, melted snow is water.

D.K.: Hey. Does anyone have any Goosebumps?

Peach: I have some on my ar-

D.K.: No no. I meant the books by R.L. Stein. I haven't read a good book in ages. I want to read something besides LAS.

Bowser: Sure. I brought one called How I Got My Shrunken Head. Sound good?

D.K.: Hell yeah! That's my favorite!

Bowser: Come right this way then.

(Bowser and D.K. go upstairs.)

Kirby: Hmm...I think D.K. has the right idea.

Daisy: What do you mean, Kirbster?

Kirby: Reading is great for rainy days such as this one.

Yoshi: Yeah, but there isn't much to read around here. I've checked.

Kirby: Well, we can also tell stories.

Waluigi: You mean like ghost stories?

Kirby: I guess that's an option. Sure.

Wario: How about jokes? There's this one that I've been dying to tell.

Kirby: That could work too.

Luigi: Sorry guys, but I still feel crappy. I'm going back to sleep. Move over, Mario! I want in!

(Luigi shoves Mario a bit and climbs into bed.)

Peach: I'd like to hear your joke, Wario. Tell us!

Wario: Okay. Here we go. There was a white yoshi, a black yoshi and a green yoshi. They heard that there's a cliff at the edge of the world. When someone jumps off it and shouts out what they want to be, they turn into it. So these three guys get a helicopter and fly to the cliff. The white yoshi jumps off and shouts "I want to be a vulture!" Poof! He turns into a vulture and flies away. The black yoshi jumps off and yells "I want to be an eagle!" Poof! He turns into an eagle and soars away. The green yoshi slips, falls out of the helicopter and screams "Oh shit!" Poof! He turns into a pile of shit and falls to the ground.

(Waluigi and Toad laugh. Even Luigi, who was trying to sleep, couldn't help but chuckle a bit. Peach, Daisy, Yoshi and Kirby looked rather displeased however.)

Yoshi: It just had to be a green yoshi, didn't it?

Peach: That's disgusting, Wario!

Waluigi: But that's what makes it so funny!

Kirby: Can we please have jokes and stories that aren't gross?

Wario: Okay okay. Why are pirates so mean?

Yoshi: Um...what?

Wario: They just aargh.

Waluigi: What's a pirates' favorite kind of movie?

Yoshi: Uh...

Waluigi: Rated aargh movies.

Wario: What do pirates like to put on their steak?

Yoshi: Don't know.

Wario: Baargh-baargh-que sauce.

Waluigi: What do you call a pirated version of a movie about automobiles?

Yoshi: I really don't care...

Waluigi: Caarghs.

Peach: What do you get when you put Mario under a Thwomp?

Daisy: Peach! No! That joke's so old!

Peach: A plumber pancake! Heeheehee!

Toad: What the hell, Peach? What'd you do that for?

Peach: Well, those guys were telling jokes too.

Toad: Yeah. But their jokes were good. I mean, everyone likes pirates. Your joke, however, was an uninspired piece of shit.

Peach: Let's see you throw together a better one if you're so smart.

Toad: Nah. I'm good. Dumb bimbos like you would never be able to understand my sense of humor.

Peach: That's because your idea of humor is just a string of profanities.

Toad: Now wait just one damn minute, bitch!

(Peach and Toad start what looks like a catfight. Luigi pokes his head out from under a pillow.)

Luigi: Good Lord. Turn on the TV and settle down, you idiots...

(Peach and Toad continue to bicker and take little notice of anything else.)

Yoshi: Seriously. Quit it. This isn't funny.

(The fight continues...)

Bowser: SHUT THE HELL UP!

(Bowser, who had returned from getting D.K. the book, smashes Peach's face with a punch and pins Toad to the ground with one foot.)

Toad: Gah! Okay okay! I'll stop!

Peach: He started it.

Bowser: I don't care who started it! Just knock it off!

Daisy: Hey. Check it out. Pokémon is on...

Yoshi: Hoo boy. Ash is such a loser.

Waluigi: No kidding. Bye-bye Charizard!

Toad: Pikachu is no better. Isn't that fucking thing at level 100 yet?

(Everyone decided to stop picking on each other and pick on Pokémon instead. While they were watching TV, none of them noticed that it is raining harder now than it was earlier...)


	33. It's Raining, It's Boring

Chapter 33: It's Raining, It's Boring

(For the rest of the afternoon, everyone sat in the living room and made fun of the Pokémon cartoon. Except for Mario and Luigi that is. But even they woke up eventually and slipped in some insults too.)

Luigi: You can not be serious. Pikachu did not just get his ass beaten by...dear God...

Mario: Gaah... Does his level reset every week or something?

Waluigi: Dude, how long is this marathon anyway? Doesn't Cartoon Network have better things to do then run horribly dubbed anime?

Wario: Hell if I know. Maybe we should find something else to watch or something.

(After flipping through the channels and finding nothing of interest, everyone suddenly got bored again.)

Yoshi: I wonder if the snow is gone yet.

Toad: Eh. Don't bother checking. It's too late in the day to do anything out there anyway.

(Yoshi got up and looked out the window.)

Yoshi: Whoa. The snow is about halfway gone. But the rain is coming down pretty hard.

Wario: I told you before. We're gonna have a big wet mess. Deal with it.

Peach: Is there anything in this house that we haven't done yet?

Waluigi: Let's see. Analysis.

D.K.: Heheh. You said anal.

Waluigi: What the hell? Shut up, D.K. Anyway. Scanning...scanning... TV, movies, eating, N64...

Luigi: Bleh. We've done just about everything. Can't you just have a Clubhouse Game, but in here instead of the clubhouse?

Waluigi: I suppose I could in theory. But the question is what game?

Luigi: I dunno. What have you been thinking about all this time?

Daisy: I hate to ask, but what is the Clubhouse Game?

Kirby: Yeah. I wanna know too.

Toad: In a nutshell, we play games like Spin the Bottle and Truth or Dare in the clubhouse out in the front yard. Pretty fun stuff.

Waluigi: But like I said, what do you guys want to play?

D.K.: How about Yahtzee?

Peach: Oh please. That's far too tame. Unless, of course, it was some sort of Strip Yahtzee.

Yoshi: What about Twister? I think I saw it upstairs.

Mario: I dunno. Seems messy...

Wario: Besides, Waluigi cheats.

Waluigi: Bah. You're only saying that because of my extra long limbs.

Wario: Exactly. It gives you an unfair advantage over guys like me. I mean, c'mon. I can't do much with these stubby little legs. I'm sure the game is impossible for Toad.

Toad: Damn straight.

Yoshi: Okay okay. I guess that's out of the question then.

Luigi: Mario! You're hogging the blanket! Give it here!

(Luigi took his pillow and whacked Mario in the head with it.)

Daisy: Ooo! A pillow fight!

Bowser: Eh. That's not really a game.

Peach: Oh! I know! Charades!

Toad: Heh. Sure. Pick a game that's all about acting like and looking like a total dumbass.

Peach: I'm just contributing to the subject, you know.

Waluigi: I'm beginning to think that perhaps we should give Spin the Bottle another shot. It should work this time since we have another girl among us. And a puffball, I guess. How hard can kissing it be? Or getting kissed by it. Sounds good, don't you all think?

Mario: I was really hoping for something new. Cough... Oh, and I still have this cold.

Waluigi: Well shit. You guys aren't helpful at all!

Yoshi: Sorry, but I guess we're all going nuts because of Classroph...no... Clustro..d'oh... What's the word?

Toad: Claustrophobia is when you're afraid of small and enclosed places, but I think the term you're actually looking for is cabin fever.

Yoshi: Huh. That must be it.

Toad: In any case, I agree with you. I'm so bored out of my mind that I want to play with Power Drinkers. Sure, they suck ass, but at least it's something to fucking do.

Yoshi: Yeah. That doesn't sound too bad right about now. Race you up the stairs!

(Yoshi and Toad run up the stairs, leaving everyone else baffled and confused.)

Bowser: Uh...what just happened?

Peach: My guess is that those two found something to do. Wish we could too.

Wario: There's something I'd love to do right about now, but...

Peach: But what?

Wario: It's not something you'd enjoy. Hell, it's best to do this sort of thing alone.

Peach: But what is it, Wario?

Wario: Do you honestly want to know? You promise not to scratch my eyes out or anything if I tell you?

Peach: Fair enough. So what is it?

Wario: I want to look at porno...

(Slap!)

Peach: You disgusting little fat man!

Waluigi: He speaks the truth though. I could go for some good pornography myself. So Peach... How about it?

(Slap!)

Peach: Enough!

Waluigi: Fine. I'll settle for Daisy. She's better anyway.

Daisy: Oh heck no. You did not just ask me to take my dress off.

Waluigi: Actually, I didn't get to that part yet. Would you go ahead and do that already?

Luigi: Surprise attack!

(Crack! Luigi attacked Waluigi with a crushing karate chop from behind.)

Daisy: Ugh. Thanks for the save, Weegiepoo.

Luigi: Dammit! Stop that!

(By now, everyone was watching the commotion with wide eyes.)

Kirby: Okay everyone. Just settle down.

Luigi: Toad's right. Cabin fever is definitely setting in.

Bowser: But what can we do about it? It's still raining. Not that going outside right now would do much good anyway.

Luigi: I don't know. At the rate things are going now, we'll be so bored that...we'll start murdering each other...

D.K.: Whoa! Are you serious?

Luigi: I'm not positive about it. I just fear that we might. When I karate chopped Waluigi just a minute ago, I felt like going the whole nine yards and beating him to oblivion.

Mario: Heh. I see what you mean. I kinda feel like roughing up Wario too.

Wario: Oh yeah? Let's see you try...

(Wario raises a fist.)

Mario: Cough... Hey now. You wouldn't hit a sick guy, would you?

Wario: No excuses!

Kirby: Cut it out, guys! You're getting too violent!

Daisy: Hmmph. Blame it on the rain.

Peach: Do you listen to Milli Vanilli too?

Daisy: What? Ew! No!

Bowser: There's got to be something we can do. Seriously, Waluigi. You're supposed to be the smart one here. Think of something. Anything. I don't care anymore.

Waluigi: I know one thing. I really regret not bringing my Game Boy. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say Tetris sounds awesome right now.

Luigi: Oh yeah! Tetris!

Peach: Tetris is sweet. I used to play it all the time.

Waluigi: Like I said, too bad I don't have it with me.

D.K.: Hey Bowser. Got any more Goosebumps?

Bowser: Nope. Sorry. That was the only one I have.

Wario: What time is it anyway? I'm getting kinda hungry over here.

Peach: Oh? Dinner time so soon? Well, I guess that'll give me something to do. Let me cook up something real quick. Try not to kill each other in the meantime. Okay?


	34. Flash Flood!

Chapter 34: Flash Flood!

(Peach had cooked chicken nuggets and french fries and everyone was in the kitchen enjoying the meal except for Mario. Luigi turned Happy Gilmore on for him. Hey. Laughter is supposed to be the best medicine, right?)

Peach: So guys. Have any plans now?

Waluigi: I was digging around in the toy box upstairs and found Monopoly. Anyone wanna play with me?

Wario: Dude, I love Monopoly. Count me in.

Peach: Ooo...sounds like a plan to me.

D.K.: I haven't played Smash Bros. in quite awhile actually. So I'll probably be playing that.

Yoshi: Toad and I still have Power Drinkers, so no worries there.

Toad: Heheh. Yeah. I wonder if Liquor really will kill Champagne for cheating on him with Beer.

Bowser: Oh great. Soap opera action. That's just what we need...

Toad: What were you going to do then, Shit-for-brains?

Bowser: Well, I haven't managed to figure that out yet.

Daisy: Hey Weegiepoo. What's up with you?

(Luigi didn't say anything. He thought he heard some thunder outside and stared out the window.)

Daisy: Is something wrong, dear?

Luigi: I dunno. I just have this baaad feeling right now. But don't let me spoil your fun. Go ahead and do whatever.

(When dinner was finished, Peach cleared the table and she, Daisy, Wario and Waluigi played Monopoly. Kirby didn't understand the game and simply watched. D.K. went into the boys' room and fired up the N64. Yoshi and Toad, as you can probably guess, went back to playing Power Drinkers. Bowser sat down in the living room and watched Happy Gilmore with Mario. This just left Luigi with nothing to do. But it doesn't seem like he wants to do anything but look out the window anyway. It looked like he was just about to fall asleep when the distant sound of thunder caught his attention.)

Luigi: Huh? Whaaa...?

Wario: My turn. Ooo...an eleven. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven... What? Go to jail? Nooooo!

Waluigi: Whahaha! Go to hell. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Anyway...six.

Peach: Welcome to Kentucky Avenue where you'll be staying a night at the lovely-

Waluigi: Ah, cut the speech and give me the bill.

(There was some more thunder, only it sounded like it was little closer this time. Luigi shook his head and took a closer look outside.)

Luigi: No. No, it can't be.

Daisy: Are you okay, Weegiepoo?

Luigi: Stop calling me that! Anyway, I think there's a storm on the way. This does not bode well at all.

Daisy: Well what can we do?

Luigi: I'm calling a meeting. Take a break from your game and meet me in the living room.

(Luigi got up and went upstairs to tell everyone there about the meeting.)

Yoshi: (for Champagne) I'm dumping you, Liquor! Beer is more of a man then you'll ever be!

Toad: (for Liquor) Shut the hell up and come over here like a good bitch. (for Beer) You don't need to take shit like that from anyone, Champagne.

Yoshi: (for Champagne) Beer's right. You can take your di-

Luigi: What the hell?

Toad: What? We're playing Power Drinkers. You want to join us or what?

Luigi: No. I don't. I just came to say that there will be a meeting in the living room in a few minutes. Coming is mandatory. That means you too, D.K.

D.K.: Aw man. And I just beat Metal Mario. Whatever.

(Yoshi, Toad and D.K. follow Luigi to the living room where everyone else has gathered for the meeting.)

Peach: What's the matter, Luigi? We've never had surprise meetings like this before.

Wario: Yeah. Who died and made you boss anyway?

Luigi: Ahem...Mario...

Wario: Oh. That's right. He's out of action. My bad.

Luigi: Okay then. I've called this meeting because we may have a crisis on our hands. I'm sure at least some of you know that it's been rainning for most of the day. I'm afraid that the rain has now become a thunderstorm.

Yoshi: What are you so worried about then? The power going out? We'll probably be okay without TV and such for a little while. Right?

Luigi: That's the least of my worries. Since there was already a bunch of snow on the ground, the island could very well flood if this keeps up!

D.K.: But we're a good distance above sea level. We'll be fine.

Luigi: While it's true that this house might be safe from the sea, I can't say the same for the store.

Toad: Oh shit! He's got a point there!

Kirby: What can we do then?

Luigi: I'm not sure. That's part of the reason I called the meeting. I guess before I can make any decisions, I'll need to know just how bad the damage is right now.

Wario: Whoa. You're not getting me out there.

Daisy: Me either.

Luigi: If no one is willing to go out there, then we'll just have to figure out who to send out. Oh, I know! Anyone have a bottle?

(Waluigi just so happened to be drinking a bottle of Mountain Dew. He chugs the rest of it down and hands the bottle to Luigi.)

Waluigi: Sure. Here you go.

Luigi: Thanks. Now could some of you move that Monopoply board off the table for a few moments?

(Wario and Daisy carefully move the board onto the counter, then Luigi puts the bottle on the table.)

Bowser: Wait. We're not playing Spin the Bottle, are we?

Luigi: Sort of. Is everyone here?

Peach: Mario isn't, but sending him out there after he was in the blizzard would just be heartless.

Luigi: Okay then. Here's how this will work. The bottle is spun and whoever it points to will be eliminated and won't have to go outside. Last person remaining is gonna get wet. Now...

(Luigi spun the bottle. It pointed to Yoshi.)

Yoshi: Ah. So I'm safe now, huh?

Luigi: Yeah. You go ahead and spin the bottle, then go back to what you were doing.

(Yoshi spins it and returns upstairs to play Power Drinkers. The bottle landed on...)

Bowser: Heheh. No rain for me.

(Bowser spun the bottle and left. Kirby was safe from scouting duty. So was Luigi, then Daisy. She was the next to spin it.)

Wario: Woo hoo!

Peach: Yay!

Toad: Hell yeah!

(Only D.K. and Waluigi were left. Toad spins the bottle and left. The final result is...)

Waluigi: OH GOD NO!

Luigi: Sorry Waluigi, but the almighty bottle has spoken. Even though you were the one that provided it. Seriously. Get out there as soon as possible. We're counting on you.

(Waluigi grumbles something to himself and goes out the front door. It was quite awhile before he came back. He was absolutely soaked when he did. Water dripped from every part of him including his, now droopy, mustache.)

Luigi: Whoa. You look horrible. Here, dry off with this. We don't need a repeat of what happened to Mario.

(Luigi gave Waluigi a towel that he got from the bathroom a few minutes before.)

Luigi: So tell me. What's the verdict?

Waluigi: This is not good. Not good at all. The dock is flooded and so is the bridge to the store. The store itself hasn't been hit, but it looks like it will soon. Heck, I think it's been closed already.

Luigi: If the rain were to stop in the middle of the night, then we might be okay. But if it doesn't, then we have no choice...but to evacuate...


	35. The Vacation Is Over

Chapter 35: The Vacation is Over

(Luigi shifted his position a bit. The time was around two in the morning and the downpour was keeping him awake even though he was actually trying to get some sleep. He certainly didn't need a repeat of last night. Besides, Mario was doing better today than he was the day before anyway. There was no need for Luigi to watch over him at night. In any case, the rain has been falling all night and Luigi couldn't sleep. He moved again to get more comfortable only for a spring in the couch to dig into his ribs. Luigi uttered a grunt of displeasure and walked off into the kitchen. He looked out the window and sighed.)

Luigi: I'd better go out there and see what the damage is like now.

(Luigi quietly went upstairs and put on a fresh shirt and pair of overalls, then grabbed a flashlight and went out. It was an absolute mess. With the snow gone and the rain continuing to pound the island, it now looked like a swamp. Luigi ran down the muddy driveway to see the water level.)

Luigi: Sweet Christ nooooooo!

(The water was so high now that even the hillside hole that Mario was trapped in two nights ago was flooded.)

Luigi: Good God! The dock! Is the boat still there? Shit! This water's cold!

(Luigi plopped himself into the water and swam to where the dock is. Or at least where it used to be. Strangely, the boat was still afloat, though it is tied to the dock. Using an extra long rope no doubt. Luigi dove underwater to untie it. Because it was so dark down there, he had to dive several times. When he finally got it, he climbed into the boat and started it up while he was sputtering profanities the entire time. He did not go far with the boat. He drove it up the driveway and got it as close to the "shore" as possible. Now everyone won't have to carry their belongings as far when evacuation time comes...which should be as soon as everyone wakes up. Luigi tied the boat to a tree and returned to the house. Soaked and shivering, Luigi went to the bathroom and took his wet clothes off. He dried off with a towel, then put his pajamas back on and went to get some sleep in the living room. Some six hours later...)

Toad: Holy shit! That's a lot of rain!

Waluigi: For crying out loud! Will this ever end?

(Daisy and Kirby came into the boys' room.)

Daisy: Oh...still raining, huh?

Yoshi: Seems like it. I guess we'll have to do what Luigi said and leave.

Wario: I'm gonna totally miss this place though. Oh well.

Peach: Please. All you did was sit in the swimming pool.

(Peach left the boys' room and went downstairs where the living room sleepers were also waking up.)

Bowser: Damn. That rain just won't quit, will it?

Luigi: That does it. I've had enough. We're leaving...right...now...

Mario: Can we have breakfast first? I'm really starving here.

Peach: How are you feeling today, Mario?

Mario: Pretty good actually. I might be over my cold now.

Peach: Well, try to take it easy. You might relapse. Here. I'll whip up some oatmeal before we go.

(Peach went into the kitchen and made some oatmeal for breakfast. Because she rushed it so much, it didn't taste too great. Nobody dared to say anything about it though. Except...)

Toad: Blargh! What'd you do? Take a shit in the pot and call it oatmeal?

Peach: That's disgusting, Toad! I'm just trying to help! If you don't like it, you can always wait until we have lunch back at the castle. Speaking of that, Luigi, how are we going to go about doing this?

Luigi: What is there to do? We pretty much just pack our bags, hightail it to the boat and get the hell out of here. I suppose I could call Phil and tell him that we're leaving early, but I'm so pissed off that I don't feel like it. He can deal with this death trap himself. Ah, but I think the water might've risen some more. So I'm gonna have to bring the boat closer inland. Bowser, you come with me and help me pull on the rope.

Mario: I'm coming too.

Luigi: No, Mario. You stay here and pack. Bowser and I can handle this.

(Luigi and Bowser ran outside, leaving a disappointed Mario behind.)

Mario: Oh...man... I think I know how Weegie feels when I tell him he can't go on adventures with me now. It kinda hurts. No wonder he hates me sometimes. Eh. Better go pack our stuff.

(Mario went upstairs and started to put Luigi's N64 games in his bag. He couldn't help but notice Yoshi hovering around the toy box though.)

Mario: What are you doing?

Yoshi: I'm gonna bring some Power Drinkers back home with me. As a memento.

Mario: Uh...isn't that considered stealing?

Yoshi: Maybe. But this place will be as good as dead in a little while anyway. I don't think it matters much.

Mario: Okay okay. Sorry I asked. ...See anything I might like in there?

(Outside, Bowser was following Luigi to the boat.)

Bowser: So what are we doing?

Luigi: I went outside last night and brought the boat to the shore. We're just bringing it closer so everyone can get in with no problem. Okay. Here it is.

Bowser: Whoa! Cold water!

(Luigi untied the boat and they both pulled on the rope.)

Luigi: Pull! Pull, you son-of-a-bitch!

Bowser: I'm pulling! I'm pulling!

(Back in the house, everyone had their things packed and were generally hanging out in the living room now.)

Waluigi: So...we really are leaving, huh?

Mario: Yup. As soon as Luigi comes back in and gives us the word.

D.K.: Well, before we leave, I'd just like to say- What's wrong with Kirby?

(Kirby, who was sitting on Daisy's lap, was beginning to fade away. Daisy looks at him in shock.)

Daisy: Oh no! What's wrong?

Kirby: It looks like HAL has finally found me. I can return home now.

Daisy: What? No!

Kirby: Good...bye...day...see...

(Kirby has now completely vanished.)

Daisy: KIIIIIRBY! NOOOO! Damn you all! Damn you all to hell! Arrrrrgh!

(In a fit of rage, Daisy kicked Wario in the shin.)

Wario: You dumb bitch! What the hell?

(When Luigi and Bowser came back inside, they saw Wario and Daisy squaring off. Although Daisy was much weaker than Wario, she was putting up a pretty good fight. When Daisy saw Luigi, she broke away from Wario and latched onto him.)

Daisy: Get me out of this terrible place! I want to go home right now!

Luigi: Yeah...about that... Everything is all set. The path to the boat is muddy and slippery, so watch your step. Now...go go go!

(Bowser held the front door open and let everyone out. Luigi turned the light out before taking his leave. Everyone ran down the path as quickly as possible while being careful about the mud. They threw their bags into the boat, then hopped into it themselves. Luigi took the driver's seat and started the motor.)

Bowser: Here, guys. Get under this tarp. It should help keep the rain off you.

(Bowser pulled out a blue tarp and everyone got under it. Except for Luigi and Bowser of course. Mario pokes his head out to watch Phillip Island disappear in the distance.)

Mario: Take one last look at the island, everybody. This will probably be the last time we'll see it. Ciao!

(Peach, Yoshi and D.K. poke their heads out.)

Peach: Bye, Phillip Island!

Yoshi: See you later, alligator!

D.K.: Nice knowing you!

(The four withdrew back into the tarp.)

Mario: By the way D.K. What were you about to say before Kirby left?

D.K.: I was just gonna say that with all the craziness that we went through during the past week, our normal lives will probably feel like a vacation.

(Everyone quietly nods in agreement. Bowser sits down next to Luigi.)

Luigi: Sit tight. I've already got this thing floored.

Bowser: I...need to have a word with you.

Luigi: I'm listening.

Bowser: Look, I'm sure the past few days or so have been really great, but I'm afraid that I'll have to call off the truce.

Luigi: I was just about to say the same thing actually. Surely, we're disturbing some kind of delicate balance and the world will blow up or something unless we cut it out.

Bowser: I hear you there. But still, I'm gonna feel kinda bad when I fight you from now on.

Luigi: Oh, don't worry about that. I'll just let Mario handle everything.

Bowser: You mean you want him to hog the spotlight?

Luigi: Sure. After all, lots of people like the underdog more than the hero. I've also been meaning to work on stuff. Like soccer.

Bowser: Good idea. I'm sure you'd make a killer soccer player. What with those nasty kicks of yours.

(And so...after a whole week of pure insanity, Mario and the gang return home from their vacation on Phillip Island. Ah, but what happened to everyone? Let's take a look...)

Mario went back to battling evil just like he did before. Though he did have a strong fear of ice and snow for the longest time. He also made Luigi destroy that one embarrassing video of him, never to be seen ever again.

Luigi, true to his word, let Mario have all the fame while he honed his soccer and karate skills. He never did figure out what was up with his dreams, but he eventually passed it off as deja vu and didn't mind it too much.

Wario was just as lazy as ever for awhile. But then he decided that he needed a pool so he rounded up some of his friends and started creating games. The fat lard is swimming now...in money.

Waluigi's current whereabouts are unknown. Some say that he went back to work on his tennis skills. Others say that he's going to open a taco stand. In any case, I just don't understand that guy.

Peach, being the dumb bimbo that she is, went back to being kidnapped on a near daily basis. On her free days, though, she does get cooking lessons. Too bad she still gets salt and sugar mixed up.

Daisy is currently suffering from what she calls Kirby Withdrawal and is slowly becoming dumber and more annoying. Luigi felt bad and got her a Furby as a present. Everyone else is considering putting her in an insane asylum.

Yoshi tried to introduce the Mighty Belchin' Power Drinkers to the rest of the yoshi clan. I think they realized how stupid he was and banished him to some cave. If that's the case, there's no telling when he'll be freed.

Toad was admitted to CA (Cussers Anonymous) by Peach for all the swearing he did. He's actually been good about attending his meetings, but he could very well snap sooner or later. He also lost his job to Toadsworth.

Bowser returned to his Peach-kidnapping ways. But because Luigi has turned him into a bit of a softie, he's only succeeded a few times. Of course he still gets a pounding from Mario when that is the case.

D.K. got it the easiest of all. Because he lives on a tropical island and rarely even goes on adventures, every day does look like a vacation for him. The lucky bum.


End file.
